Murphy's Laws of Tractors

Rock Crawler · Sep 30, 2020

If there is a solid object that can never be hurt, you will never clip it with your loader. If there is anything of value and easily damaged, the bucket will reinforce that point.

Travelover · Oct 1, 2020

3Lfarms said:
A flail mower is the best scrap metal finder on the planet.
A rototiller is second best.

A snowblower does a pretty good job of finding iced up newspapers.

Jstpssng · Oct 1, 2020

Ah, but a snowblower is great for cleaning out a path for the dog to walk... and launching what he leaves behind into the next county.

Diggin It · Oct 2, 2020

Travelover said:
newspapers.

What are those?

hks003 · Oct 2, 2020

Diggin It said:
What are those?

I think they're like websites people print and deliver to old people.

Thomas · Oct 2, 2020

Good chance if you leave your cell phone on tractor tire and drive off it won't work again. :ashamed:

milkman636 · Oct 2, 2020

Thomas said:
Good chance if you leave your cell phone on tractor tire and drive off it won't work again. :ashamed:

This also applies to on top of the fender, next to the roll bar.

Industrial Toys · Oct 2, 2020

When greasing your tractor, and you get a bit on your hand, so you wipe it off with a rag and will always find that big blob of grease in the rag. Same with silicone actually.

Avenger · Oct 5, 2020

The place you typically get dyed off-road diesel will stop selling it, removing the entire pump. Now you either gotta pay more money for on-road diesel or drive a few hours to get off-road... or get a tank big enough on your property to get fuel service.

(guess what I found out this weekend :thumbdown

Beeenvenue · Oct 5, 2020

Murphy痴 expanded law as they apply to tractors:

Anything that can go wrong will go wrong
In the worst possible way
At the worst time
With the most expensive or embarrassing consequences
Amplified when viewed by others, and amplified further if being videoed.

PILOON · Oct 5, 2020

A snow blower is also a great leaf blower for lazy folks.

Jstpssng · Oct 5, 2020

PILOON said:
A snow blower is also a great leaf blower for lazy folks.

It's also a great way to get rid of frozen dog turds in winter, assuming that you have enough land to do so. At least that's what a friend told me....

tmcj · Oct 6, 2020

The one day of the year that you decide to load the tractor on the trailer and haul it along to work with plans to leave early and spend the afternoon brush hogging trails on your hunting grounds, is also the one day that you come out of a turn to find 3 deer just standing in the middle of your lane with the real deer in the headlights look! Thank God one went left and two went right at the last second because even the mighty Duramax and trailer brakes weren't gonna stop this tractor from having back straps for breakfast.

dragoneggs · Oct 6, 2020

Done this multiple times... forgetting that my chainsaw and stuff is in the bucket on the way to the task at hand and take a scoop of dirt and crap along the way to tidy the path up a bit. :mur:

Jstpssng · Oct 6, 2020

dragoneggs said:
Done this multiple times... forgetting that my chainsaw and stuff is in the bucket on the way to the task at hand and take a scoop of dirt and crap along the way to tidy the path up a bit. :mur:

I learned that one very quickly. I don't carry anything in the bucket that isn't going to get dumped. It's a pain sometimes but nowhere near as painful as spending the next 4 hours driving to town and deciding what your next chainsaw is going to be, without even having the chance to shop around. The saw I chose turned out to be a complete mistake... obviously made by an Irishman on the morning shift following St Patrick's day after getting dumped by his girlfriend who also took his dog and tractor . Did I mention the saw was a piece of junk?

Avenger · Oct 6, 2020

That part that you are prying against or beating on with a hammer, is made out of cast, and will break... and will not be cheap.

HAR · Oct 8, 2020

JethroB said:
Your mower will find the bolt eventuality, no worries

Last summer my neighbor found the perfect magnet for a lost bolt: a loaded tire!

Avenger · Oct 8, 2020

You will walk out to your tractor, get on it, only to realize you forgot the key to start it.

Rock Crawler · Oct 8, 2020

Avenger said:
You will walk out to your tractor, get on it, only to realize you forgot the key to start it.

Wait....? The key comes out of it? I've never even thought of trying to remove it! Why would you take the key out? You have thieves out in the farm?

Where we live, all vehicles and equipment have keys in them. I've always said that if you need to drive out here to steal my stuff, you must need it more than me and I've got good insurance.

I'd kind of like it if my B2650 were stolen, I would go buy a large L or an MX with heated and cooled cab!

hks003 · Oct 8, 2020

Rock Crawler said:
Wait....? The key comes out of it? I've never even thought of trying to remove it! Why would you take the key out? You have thieves out in the farm?

Where we live, all vehicles and equipment have keys in them. I've always said that if you need to drive out here to steal my stuff, you must need it more than me and I've got good insurance.

I'd kind of like it if my B2650 were stolen, I would go buy a large L or an MX with heated and cooled cab!

Most insurance won't cover theft if the key is in it...