Stupid Things I Have Done

   / Stupid Things I Have Done #261  
Very recently.

I had a pair of old shoes, Skechers to be exact, that I bought at Sam's Club. They had been thru heck and back and the sole on the left one was starting to come loose. Being the frugal person I am I pulled them out of their hiding place, to keep wife from trashing them, and wore them one more time while working outside in the wet yard. Saw no need of wearing my identical pair of good ones with the sole completely attached. Anyway, got something between the sole and the body of the shoe and I sat on a limb and pulled the sole down further apart to get the stick out. Put the shoe back on and stepped over the limb. Of course the sole was hanging down and caught on the limb. I felt for twenty feet before face planting. Tried to act real cool about it because wife had her back turned when I fell. Then she asked me why I had blood running down my face.

Shoes went into trash.

Told grands that Granna bopped me one for talking back to her.

RSKY
 
   / Stupid Things I Have Done #262  
Very recently.

I had a pair of old shoes, Skechers to be exact, that I bought at Sam's Club. They had been thru heck and back and the sole on the left one was starting to come loose. Being the frugal person I am I pulled them out of their hiding place, to keep wife from trashing them, and wore them one more time while working outside in the wet yard. Saw no need of wearing my identical pair of good ones with the sole completely attached. Anyway, got something between the sole and the body of the shoe and I sat on a limb and pulled the sole down further apart to get the stick out. Put the shoe back on and stepped over the limb. Of course the sole was hanging down and caught on the limb. I felt for twenty feet before face planting. Tried to act real cool about it because wife had her back turned when I fell. Then she asked me why I had blood running down my face.

Shoes went into trash.

Told grands that Granna bopped me one for talking back to her.

RSKY
I managed to smack myself at work and give myself a black eye.

That weekend we went over to my in-laws for an afternoon cookout.

As soon as we walked in my Mother in-law asked "Wow... what happened to your eye????"

Without missing a beat I piped up "Well.... I got lippy with Beth..... (my wife)"

Even after telling my mother in law what really happened she still kept giving my wife the stink eye
 
   / Stupid Things I Have Done #263  
I once got a black eye from looking out my window while turning the truck around. The tire ran over a stick, which came up and slapped me in the face.

Luckily it didn't dent my truck. :D
 
   / Stupid Things I Have Done #264  
I once got a black eye from looking out my window while turning the truck around. The tire ran over a stick, which came up and slapped me in the face.

Luckily it didn't dent my truck. :D
AC went out in my truck. I was wearing a loose tee shirt and leaning just so... so the wind had my shirt inflated while driving.

I felt something bounce off my arm. Figured it was a June bug so I didn't really pay attention.

That was until something stabbed me in my hip Then stabbed me again... and again....

I hit the break down lane.... locked up the brakes, bailed out of the truck, whipped my shirt off, and was spinning in a circle swatting my side with the tee shirt till I figured out what was stinging me....

I was a wasp.... not a June bug

I kept wondering if someone was gonna call the cops and report some crazy guy wigging out and stripping on the side of the road It would have made an interesting report in the local news papers weekly police log
 
   / Stupid Things I Have Done #265  
The year was 1980. I had just arrived in CA.
Decided to swim out beyond the breakers in the Pacific Ocean. Got caught in a rip tide and swam against it to near exhaustion. Flailing my arms I realized I was too far out for a lifeguard to see me. I never did float. I was just bone and sinew. Summoning all my will to live I swam south until I was out of the swift current and then started in. All the while now fear of a shark attack was clear in my mind as I slapped the surface. I knew I only had to make it to the breakers, then I could body surf in. I don't know if it was a mile or 2 miles now. It was the longest swim of my life. The breakers washed me to the beach but I couldn't stand. After 20-30 minutes of rest I managed to get to my feet and walk (stumble) and mile up the shore to my blanket... I plopped down and my girl asked me - where have you been? :LOL:

I should have died but the will to live is strong.(y)
 
   / Stupid Things I Have Done #266  
My only black eye. As a teen 40 plus years ago I was water skiing. I fell as I often did, I went down, the ski came off as it should and went skyward. It and my left temple engaged as I surfaced. Whack!
 
   / Stupid Things I Have Done #269  
Took the challenge to ride my bike across a frozen pond. Was doing fine when somebody yelled FASTER. I threw my weight into the pedal and down I went landing on my eye socket. Doc sewed it up neatly (y)
 
   / Stupid Things I Have Done #270  
Toss-up as to which was stupider.

As a kid, 4th grade, I thought it would be cool to knock over a dead, rotten tree on the edge of our ravine. Started rocking it, figuring it would crack at the base & when I heard the crack I looked up, just in time to catch the top 6 ft piece (which was where it cracked) with my cheek bone, about 1/2 inch under my right eye. Not sure how long I was blacked out, but when I came to, thought I was blind, luckily it was only the blood. Long story short ... 4 hours in ER, 27 stitches in face, 8 splinters pulled from eyeball, & had to start wearing glasses.

A few years later, (13 or 14) decided to surprise my Dad by fixing a big pothole at the bottom of our asphalt driveway since we had excess gravel & roofing tar left over from the flat roof redo my dad had had done a month earlier. after partially filling & tamping the pothole with straight gravel I cooked up two buckets over a campfire (1 had tar & gravel the other straight tar) Must have cooked it up too thin, because the gravel & tar bucket pour out but left half the gravel in the bottom so I figured I'd pour the straight tar in to thin & repour the rest ... never got that far since as soon as I started pouring, the hot tar hit the bottom of the second bucket & bounced right back up into my face. Sealed up my right eye & wound up in an ER again for 6 hours to have the tar scraped/cut off the eyelid, lashes & eyebrow. Lucky, I turned & closed the eye quick enough to avoid any major burns to the eyeball, but there were some minor burns away from the iris & some pretty decent blisters on the cheek & eyelid. To make matters worse, when it happened, I dropped the hot tar bucket & it created a slick spot in the driveway that didn't get cured until we re-asphalted about a year later.
 
 
Top