Need some advice on what to do with parents belongings

[Sigarms]

After my dad took care of his sister, as it was her wishes to be cremated, it was kind of funny dad telling me that cremation is the way to go. Simple box and take the ashes wherever you want to have it be burried, if you want to be put in the ground with a lot less space taken up LOL.

 

[Industrial Toys]

So if people are so practical about that, why do they burdon themselves with all manner of belongings? I don't get it.

 

[ovrszd]

So if people are so practical about that, why do they burdon themselves with all manner of belongings? I don't get it.

I read your posts with a huge smile on my face as I also read your posted list of equipment you own as if it's a "status list".

 

[ultrarunner]

Emotions run high and being able work things out on your time table is a blessing.

 

[Industrial Toys]

I was actually reffering to the belongings of loved ones. BUT, yes, thinking about all my stuff (and I don't list auxilliary stuff) it is a burdon. And quite stupidly thinking about acquiring more! I don'd have children, my sister doesn't have children, so I realize all my "stuff" and this place will just end up wherever. Even if I had children, often the children have their own ideas. They might just move over seas. Maybe protesters, will just burn everything to the ground. All the more reason ,not to be so attached to "stuff".

Ninteen people shot and killed int he last 24 hours in New York. One guy shot in the neck, washing his car! All this weighs very heavy on me. How things and life can change in the blink of an eye.

 

[Jstpssng]

So if people are so practical about that, why do they burdon themselves with all manner of belongings? I don't get it.

I'm not sure what your question is. When my father passed away it was an end to his suffering. I've often wondered what the funeral director thought, as we were laughing and joking around like nothing was wrong. Yet the Alzheimers had taken him from us long ago. Yet there are things of his which bring back good memories; and while I felt a bit ghoulish, not long after his death I told her that if there was only one thing of his I could have it would be his TO35... knowing that if I didn't speak up it would go to a friend of his who had already mentioned it.

I go to the cemetery occasionally to help keep the gravesite up where he, my brother, and several other members of my family are buried simply because she likes it kept nice. His Ferguson I will use, if I ever get a place to store it here; and a few other things of his which I can use. Aside from that, what's wrong with keeping things if they bring back good memories?

 

[Industrial Toys]

No, I meant, being practical about burning a body, but the possessions are so highly prized. Why not burn them too?

Why does it take "stuff" to invoke memories?

I guess if the deceased had a particularly favourite possession, that would or might be different. The living must move on.

 

[dragoneggs]

This has been an interesting thread to read. I guess I don't have much to offer much different than suggestions already provided. In my case, we took our time with my parent's belongs when they passed. Slowly over time we have sold, donated, tossed a variety of items and we are getting down to the sentimental things that we know we want to pass down or the few things we actually still use.

I recently sold my dad's 60year old radial arm saw and accessories for a song on Craigslist. It was hard to see it go, but in having a masked conversation with the buyer I felt good that he was excited to add it his shop he was trying to establish.

On the other hand I still have an extensive and impressive stamp collection that while worth a lot of money, I can't see selling knowing how much time and energy and money my father invested. What pains me is that quite likely my kids will sell it when I pass it down as it doesn't mean much to them as it does me (memories).

Everyone's situation and perspective is different, but I like the idea of scaling his shop down and restoring the vehicle in a dedicated place with some of his most useful and sentimental tools and dispose of the rest of the 'stuff' via an estate sale, donations, etc. This does make me think I should begin the slow process of tidying up some of the crap we have so our kids don't have to do it.

 

[rekees4300]

Anyone ever dealt with anything like this or have any advice?

"The more you own, the more it owns you." --Henry Rollins

Advice: If you want freedom then have an auction to get rid of all the stuff!

 

[Industrial Toys]

I "believe" that the single most important thing I ever learned in this lifetime is that your feelings do not stem from some sort of bedrock of who you are. Feelings are the product of any given belief system and thus are highly malliable.

This was a very disturbing insight. Then, what are we really? If not our feelings?

 

[MossRoad]

My dad passed away six years ago and I lost my mom a little over a week ago. I am an only child. They have a ~2500 Sq foot house with a lifetime of stuff in it and dad had a 30x40 shop full of tools and other things including an old truck he was restoring.

Where they lived is a small rural subdivision with about 20 houses on an acre each and is a really desirable area. Several neighbors have mentioned they want to buy the place if I decide to sell so they can move their family there.

I am in no rush other than the sooner I sell it the less have to have to maintain it, pay property taxes, etc.

Most of the stuff in the house other than some sentimental things I plan to just sell or donate. Dad痴 shop is another story. Mom had been telling me for the past six years to do whatever I want with everything out there but I just haven稚 been able to do it. Most the stuff out there I remember from my childhood when I would work on things with dad.

I have three shops at my house and 30 acres. I can稚 think of any tools or anything in his shop that I don稚 have on my own already. I also have a small business and have employees here at my place working in the shop. My shops are pretty much plum full and I wouldn稚 want any of his things in there getting messed with by my employees anyway.

So here is my dilemma. What do I do with this stuff? I am thinking about having a 30x40 shop built on my place and just moving all his stuff over to it. I don稚 know what I would ever do with it almost like it would be a shrine or something. This doesn稚 seem very logical but it is the first thought that comes to mind. Maybe at some point I might want to finish restoring that truck. A shipping container or two is another option but I I kind of like just looking at the things in the shop and am not sure I would want them just packed away never to be seen again. Cost really isn稚 a factor. I have the money to build whatever on my own plus their house was paid for and should sell for at least 300k. Anyone ever dealt with anything like this or have any advice?

Before my dad passed away, he gave me some good advice:

"Don't think you have to keep my things. Make your own memories."

My siblings and I each kept some very nice sentimental and/or useful items, and donated most of the rest to St. Vincent DePaul Society and Goodwill Industries, and sold both of the houses that he built himself. There were no regrets because of those 4 little words:

Make your own memories.

So if you have the means to keep things, and you want them, then keep them. Just ask yourself why you're keeping them, and who's going to have to deal with them if you suddenly pass away?

 

[Larry Caldwell]

Given time, our physical bodies all turn to dust...

Personally, I'm planning on turning to goo. This is a wet climate. Dust is unlikely.

 

[ovrszd]

I'm not sure what your question is. When my father passed away it was an end to his suffering. I've often wondered what the funeral director thought, as we were laughing and joking around like nothing was wrong. Yet the Alzheimers had taken him from us long ago. Yet there are things of his which bring back good memories; and while I felt a bit ghoulish, not long after his death I told her that if there was only one thing of his I could have it would be his TO35... knowing that if I didn't speak up it would go to a friend of his who had already mentioned it.

I go to the cemetery occasionally to help keep the gravesite up where he, my brother, and several other members of my family are buried simply because she likes it kept nice. His Ferguson I will use, if I ever get a place to store it here; and a few other things of his which I can use. Aside from that, what's wrong with keeping things if they bring back good memories?

My sentiments exactly. I lost my Dad to Alzheimer's. Was a Blessing when he died.

 

[buckeyefarmer]

My sentiments exactly. I lost my Dad to Alzheimer's. Was a Blessing when he died.

Made the passing of my mom not as bad. She was gone a couple years before she passed away. RIP

 

[buckeyefarmer]

Neither of my children will want my tools.