Need some advice on what to do with parents belongings

[cdaigle430]

I dont want to become a burden to anyone when I get older and die.

 

[txdon]

There were a couple of items that we didn't want to go for too low and bid on ourselves and later sold at a more realistic price.

Did they still charge you the 40% commission on the things you bought?

 

[txdon]

I dont want to become a burden to anyone when I get older and die.

Is that just a wish or do you have a plan, please share.

 

[bigtiller]

"snip"
I was the executor of my Aunt's "estate" when she died. She had no money, lived in an apartment, and left no will. After dealing with all the family on the stuff various people wanted, I wouldn't wish the scenario on anyone.

That is the reason that we decided to hire an executor.
A professional can do the job much easier than the average layperson.

 

[bdog]

My experience has always been that if you aren't sure what to do that's the wrong time to do something... especially when it comes to the death of a loved one.
Just my :2cents:

I agree this is very good advice. I am 100% sure I want to sell her house. I own several rentals and have no desire to keep it as a rental as I couldn't stand to see someone not take care of it. I would never want to live there myself. It is a nice place, but quite a bit smaller than my home and I only live a mile away.

My concern or dilemma is just what to do with their belongings. Of course there are certain things I definitely want to keep but it is more the things I am iffy about that I guess according to your advice choosing to get rid of them could be regretted later. That is why I think I dedicated shop for their stuff is a good idea. If down the road I decide to get rid of it I can do so. If I don't ever mix other things into this shop when the time comes and I die my kids will know that shop is just all the grandparents stuff and they can sell it at or whatever.

 

[Sigarms]

That is the reason that we decided to hire an executor.
A professional can do the job much easier than the average layperson.

My aunt was also my Godmother, and took care of me when my mom went to spend time with my father overseas. She was like a second mother to me at times. It was her request that I handle her "estate". There was no way I was going to give that responsibility to someone else. Way I see it, both my mom and her got a good chuckle out of it because it took like 3 or 4 years to finally get over with. I guess I could of been a pain in the butt sometimes as a kid LOL.

 

[Sigarms]

That is why I think I dedicated shop for their stuff is a good idea. If down the road I decide to get rid of it I can do so. If I don't ever mix other things into this shop when the time comes and I die my kids will know that shop is just all the grandparents stuff and they can sell it at or whatever.

As I said before, build the shop, put what you want in it, and deal with it when you're ready. Just make certain you put your dads truck project in there:thumbsup:

Time later, when that "new" shop is cleared, it should only add value to your property, and you can afford it now.

 

[/pine]

I think in many cases if you could get honest answers from the deceased parents they would most likely want whatever they leave to be as much help to someone else as possible...sentimental items I'm sure many would what them passed down but everyday items not so much...

...If you hire someone that comes in and offers so much for this and so much for that as long as they take everything...a lot of the stuff will end up in a landfill...
SO...the easiest way to decide what to do with stuff is just ask yourself..."what would they want"...and most of the time the answer will be they would want their stuff to be put to use by someone that can use it...

IMO it is better to give it to thrift stores (many run by churches for local support groups) etc. than to pay someone to haul it to the dump...

As for tools...it's the same thing...most craftsmen would like to see their tools being used by someone/anyone over sitting around collecting dust or sold for scrap etc...

 

[fried1765]

If you dont get rid of the stuff, you are just passing the problem on to your children. Is that what you want to do?

YES.... absolutely!!

 

[Industrial Toys]

Kind of to change the direction slightly. It's why I dislike cremation so much. To destroy the one real physical thing we own, disturbs me. , Old Aunt Louloos Tea Pot is so cherished, but heck, just go and incinerate her body. Rotting in the ground or not, I like the idea of something resembling the dearly beloved, lying beneath my feet.

 

[newbury]

My wife came from a family where her mother (now about 94 years of age) was 1 of 12 children. Most of them lived in or retired to NE Mississippi. For a while there either one of them or their spouse was passing away about every other year. She seemed to be one of the favorite nieces and about the only Attorney and she ended up doing probate and being mostly responsible for splitting up the estates for about a decade or so. With one Uncle it took about a full two years after the funeral before it was all done.
Most of the estates where moderate, a house or two, up to a few hundred acres of land, a shop etc.
But it was amazing to me the arguments some relatives could get into over things of relatively small value only because someone else wanted it.
Partially because of that she made us wills that split up almost everything.
And in the last couple of years I've tried to limit myself in buying tools that will need to be passed down. Don't plan on leaving my shotgun to my vegan daughter

 

[Fuddy1952]

I just saw this post. Man, I can empathize! Where I grew up on farm, grandparents next door. They passed, everything was sentimental...but we (68&66) have tons of stuff. Then in-laws & Dad passed.
I never realized how tough it is? A few sentimental things we took, few things I restored.
In-laws the day before house was sold wife was so distraught, she had me go over throwing everything out. They had neighbors they really liked, a large family. So I went over asking if they wanted things. They took everything I was to dispose of, and worked out fantastically.
Hopefully you can think of people who want and appreciate their stuff. Maybe you know an eBay seller who needs money?
There's 3 kinds of things...2 are easy, the sentimental valuables you want, garbage you throw away...but the in-between is tough!
Think about this...don't get rid of something that a few years down the road wished you'd kept. There's no going back.

 

[Sigarms]

Kind of to change the direction slightly. It's why I dislike cremation so much. To destroy the one real physical thing we own, disturbs me. , Old Aunt Louloos Tea Pot is so cherished, but heck, just go and incinerate her body. Rotting in the ground or not, I like the idea of something resembling the dearly beloved, lying beneath my feet.

Given time, our physical bodies all turn to dust...

 

[Jstpssng]

I prefer to concentrate on people while they’re living. They really don’t care what happens to their body once they leave it.

 

[buckeyefarmer]

Will be going down this road soon myself. Dad has lots of stuff, lots of plain junk also. Fortunately he has gotten rid of a little.

FIL just passed away, they were in process of getting rid of stuff lots still left there also. Wife’s sister is more materialistic and not on good terms, so I hope her mom gets rid of it first.

 

[airbiscuit]

I have been widowed twice. And both my parents are gone. I was executor of my Dadç—´ estate.

I would Get rid of the stuff as soon as you can. As was suggested take stock of the tools and if there is anything that is an upgrade or has particular value to you, keep it. I wouldn稚 build another shop for the stuff. Thats just a mausoleum.
As for the truck, if you want it, find someone to restore it. Pay the premium to get that done right now and drive it. You will remember your dad and have a great conversation piece that others can relate to.
For selling the house, find out the market value and sell it for that. Neighbors often want a sweetheart deal. Your father left that asset to you, not to them. Get the most out of it. Having a realtor do it will cost you a commission but will probably save headache.

And I知 sorry about the loss of your mom.
Good luck.

I couldn't sell any of my Dad's tools or truck. If I didn't want to have duplicates I'd sell mine and keep his. I had a lot of my Dad's tools and my deceased Son's tools in my shop when it burned ten years ago. I still miss those things today.

My display of this heritage and respect of these items has been passed on to my Sons. They too value these things. I think it's a positive addition to our character.

I think the answer is in there somewhere. I went through the same thing a few years ago. I was executor of the estate. At first, my siblings wanted a lot of the "stuff" and I devised a way to kind of Round Robin picking things. It turned out we didn't really want quantity or quality, but rather sentimentality. One of my picks were some old (worthless) Styrofoam duck decoys. I put them on some stumps in my yard, and I still smile when I see them (knowing my Dad wouldn't spend real money for good decoys). In the end, we all got more than enough for good memories and didn't accumulate a lot of stuff we really wouldn't use.

I grew up poor, and our garage was a treasure of items with which a person could cobble up anything (everything but sharp drill bits). There are still times when I think I could use something from that old garage, but the cost of buying what I need is worth not having to have the wheat and the chaff.

There is good advice above, and given time, your heart and head will lead you to the right decision. I think the answer might be delivered to you in a restored truck.

 

[lennyzx11]

I’ve been paring down and getting rid of the unneeded items lately.

May I suggest this. I moved two years ago and have helped move some things for people in situations like yours.

Walk through the house and buildings. Get what you want out. Only stuff with real attachment.

Then call a realtor and tell them to sell it with all contents. As is where is.

Don’t worry about the loss vs owning vs having to move it all or clean it out.

A clean closure will be better than the heart wrenching sorting and taking your parents accumulations apart. Even with a small loss in money.

Who knows, a buyer may want the stuff and be happy. I sold my house to move here and they bought it with all furniture and appliances. I was happy!

 

[furnone]

Did they still charge you the 40% commission on the things you bought?

They charge 18% buyers premium just as they do all the bidders. You would only do this to protect the value of certain items. Of course, you are also upping the bid on these items which may get them up to an acceptable price.

 

[3Ts]

Kind of to change the direction slightly. It's why I dislike cremation so much. To destroy the one real physical thing we own, disturbs me. , Old Aunt Louloos Tea Pot is so cherished, but heck, just go and incinerate her body. Rotting in the ground or not, I like the idea of something resembling the dearly beloved, lying beneath my feet.

My plan is to be cremated because I don't want my body being dug up later and put on display in a museum or wherever.

 

[Industrial Toys]

My Mom has elected to be cremated and put in a cubby hole in a plot, along with my step dads ashes. I don't like it, but that's just the way it is. Nothing really, I can think of that I would want to keep from my Mom's stuff. She volunteered at a Church Thrift Store for Years and brought stuff home a few days a week for years. My Sister has slowly gotten rid of much, back to the thrift store, but so much of my Mom's possesions are just modern day clutter.

Just my thinking, but if your belief systems. cause you grief and pain, change your belief system. My Mom will live in my brain and heart for as long as I live and probably in my soul for Eternity. I don't need any material stuff of hers.