How smart is your dog/cat?

[kf4uda]

A guy is driving around the back woods and he sees a sign in front of a broken down, shanty-style house: "Talking Dog For Sale." He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.

"You talk?" he asks.

"Yep," the Lab replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says "So, what's your story?"

The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.

"I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.

"I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

"Ten dollars," the guy says.

"Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap??"

"Because the dog's a liar. He never did any of that stuff."

 

[Looking4new]

My nine strays have me well trained. In winter they all live in the house I bought for them and in summer they all hunt and are hardly ever home.

 

[tcreeley]

A guy is driving around the back woods and he sees a sign in front of a broken down, shanty-style house: "Talking Dog For Sale." He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.

"You talk?" he asks.

"Yep," the Lab replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says "So, what's your story?"

The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.

"I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.

"I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

"Ten dollars," the guy says.

"Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap??"

"Because the dog's a liar. He never did any of that stuff."

:thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::laughing:

 

[nc redneck]

So true. My brother just HAD to have a "white" Golden, so he found a breeder who had some white goldens. He bought a male and that was the dumbest golden I think I've ever witnessed. It looked like a smaller version of a Great Pyrenees. did I mention he was duuuuuumb?

I prefer the darker red goldens.

look for the hunting line of goldens..not the show lines. My goldens are almost red in color. were agility masters...not dog show quality. those are generally pretty dumb.

I would agree with above post. Hunting Goldens and Show Goldens are 2 complete different breeds in todays world. Show goldens are large 100 lb plus and more on the white side. Typically good companion dogs but over breeding has caused some real bad ones to be out there. True hunting retrievers are small, max 75 pounds and are much redder, they have a more pronounced stop to there eyes and kind of look like a fox more than a dog.
I know back in the 80s I stayed on waiting list for 1 1/2 years for mine. Also had to give up breeding rights (AKC) and paid $ 600.00 for pup. A lot of money back then.
He ended up being ( after 2 years of professional training at $ 600.00 per month ) the youngest dog to qualify at AKC Master National. And the only Golden to do so for previous 3 years. Later on in life if he even saw me with camo on or shotgun he would freak out and paw at door until boat was loaded and he was in kennel in truck.
We have a saying down south that God gives a man one good dog per lifetime. And I know I have had mine.
Scott

 

[dmccarty]

...
We have a saying down south that God gives a man one good dog per lifetime. And I know I have had mine.
Scott

I think that is a true saying. I have had a bunch of dogs, some really smart, and others as dumb as a box of rocks. My last dog was exceptional in every way and any other dog would be a comparison to her which would be unfair. The wife and kids have a dog but the dog is theirs not mine.

Later,
Dan

 

[buickanddeere]

My nine strays have me well trained. In winter they all live in the house I bought for them and in summer they all hunt and are hardly ever home.

How is it a good idea to let a pack of dogs run loose and hunt? They run deer, chase cattle, attack sheep and kill domestic fowl.

 

[rsallen]

Ahem,
I think he was talking about cats.

 

[/pine]

Jerry Clower - Newgene and the lion - YouTube

 

[/pine]

Ahem,
I think he was talking about cats.

as bad or worse...anyone that does that should be jailed...!

 

[toppop52]

as bad or worse...anyone that does that should be jailed...!

We all have opinions, some stronger than others...

 

[burnieman]

as bad or worse...anyone that does that should be jailed...!

The nickname for your real name fits you to a tee!!! Lol

 

[Jstpssng]

as bad or worse...anyone that does that should be jailed...!

That may be a little harsh, but I understand your sentiments. You will never convince people to control their cats the way we are required to do our dogs... and heaven forbid they be required to get shots. This is a peeve of mine... I travelled a lot with my last dog and on numerous occasions she got attacked by cats while she was on leash or tied to my truck; one time at a motel in Vermont a cat actually JUMPED INTO MY TRUCK and attacked my dog. I had all I could do to keep from wringing that felines neck. Another time in that same state she was tied next to my truck (attached to the steering wheel) at an ice cream stand when a cat attacked her. I'm required by law to license my dog, keep him under control, and keep his shots up to date; if he chases somebody else's pet or livestock they can take whatever measures to stop him. Yet imagine the uproar if I had protected my dog in either of the above cases...

This Why Trap-Neuter-Return Feral Cats? The Case for TNR - Alley Cat Allies is one of the worst ideas I've ever heard of...

 

[Looking4new]

How is it a good idea to let a pack of dogs run loose and hunt? They run deer, chase cattle, attack sheep and kill domestic fowl.

Sorry, I forgot to mention that they are cats.

 

[Looking4new]

as bad or worse...anyone that does that should be jailed...!

Well, if that is your opinion come on up here and jail me then. they are all well fed, cared for and fixed. In Ontario all cats and dogs must have rabies shots.

 

[toppop52]

Well, if that is your opinion come on up here and jail me then. they are all well fed, cared for and fixed. In Ontario all cats and dogs must have rabies shots.

Same here.

 

[buickanddeere]

as bad or worse...anyone that does that should be jailed...!

Cats domestic and feral are responsible for mass extermination of endangered birds and small animals. Look up the stats.

 

[toppop52]

We have three cats that live in the house and hunt nothing but the food dish, the two outside cats are a mom and kitten that took up here this winter, moved under a building and I woldnt allow them to starve. I'm evil like that. Blackbirds land in a group of 12-15 at the time and raid their food, so far mom has ignored the birds and baby just watches. Well fed cats are little danger to bird populations.
Tree huggers however, protecting snail darters, are responsible for job losses, and energy dependence.

 

[CalG]

My Dog/cat is smart enough to figure out that the bird/fish is a tasty treat.
And will do just about ANYTHING to get one.

Dog's minds are DIRECTLY connected to their stomachs. Use that to advantage when you are teaching them "smarts".

 

[Looking4new]

Cats domestic and feral are responsible for mass extermination of endangered birds and small animals. Look up the stats.

Only the stupid ones.

 

[Looking4new]

as bad or worse...anyone that does that should be jailed...!

Cats domestic and feral are responsible for mass extermination of endangered birds and small animals. Look up the stats.

Using your own reasoning I guess all hunters and fishermen should be jailed, too.
Well, slash pine, here is your chance to stick another cat lover in jail. I live outside of South River, ON. Come on up and do the deed.

Every feral cat that expects to come into this house gets fixed. If they want to leave after the deed is done, so be it. They are not held here against their will. (jailed)
If everybody that has cats would spay/neuter them, the species would die out, eventually. All the tree huggers would be real happy then.