Now I'm ticked off.

[RSKY]

With the Ice/Snow/Cold storm of the millennium bearing down my youngest has deserted us. She got home from a four day business trip to Dallas late Thursday night. Loaded up her husband and two oldest in the Sequoia. And got us up at 4:00 this morning to pick up the two year old who had spent four nights with us while she was out of town. And three hours later they were all on a plane for Disney World.

Guess who has to look after their house if when the power goes off and the nighttime temps are in single digits.

Yep, that is me. I have told them repeatedly to have a switch installed so a generator could be hooked up. When we got our whole house generator I gave them my electric start 10K genset. But did they listen. No they did not. So it will be me hauling gas and stringing extension cords all over the place.

We are going to talk about this when they get home.

And they DIDN'T EVEN INVITE US TO GO WITH THEM.

Don't know why they didn't invite us. Neither my daughter of her husband will ride the scarier rides so granddaddy has to. We rode the supposedly bad roller coaster at Disneyland seven times in one day a couple years ago.

RSKY

 

[ultrarunner]

Imposition to be sure… maybe if you are too busy it won’t happen again?

 

[jaxs]

Why can't you turn water off, open all faucets, rv antifreeze in traps and toilets beforehand?
It would make me mad to not being invited and leavening Mrs.RSKY to deal with it.

 

[Rockbadchild]

She is taking advantage of you because you let her, you only have yourself to blame. She is a adult you are no longer responsible for anything, helping when you want to is one thing, but now you are expected to to do it and that's not right.

 

[dodge man]

It’s not your fault if their pipes freeze.

 

[RSKY]

Why can't you turn water off, open all faucets, rv antifreeze in traps and toilets beforehand?
It would make me mad to not being invited and leavening Mrs.RSKY to deal with it.

Son-in-law had an aw'**** moment when I asked him about water lines and power going off. So he turned the water off and drained the lines as best he could. Wife's sister lives next door so we will be alerted if power goes off.

RSKY

 

[RSKY]

She is taking advantage of you because you let her, you only have yourself to blame. She is a adult you are no longer responsible for anything, helping when you want to is one thing, but now you are expected to to do it and that's not right.

You don't have a daughter do you?

When I'm ninety and she's sixty I will still feel responsible for her. Even as she visits me in the rest home. She has an MBA and has made much more money than I ever did. She now works from home still making very good money. But some things seem to take experience to learn.

RSKY

 

[RSKY]

It’s not your fault if their pipes freeze.

As I stated in the last post, you must not have a daughter. Dad's with daughters will always take care of their little girl. I would feel guilty if I let it happen.

RSKY

 

[bdhsfz6]

A common occurrence and just goes with parenting. Whether a blessing or a curse, we always take care of our "kids". Some grow up and some never do, but we love them none the less.

At least you have places like this to vent.

 

[Rockbadchild]

You don't have a daughter do you?

When I'm ninety and she's sixty I will still feel responsible for her. Even as she visits me in the rest home. She has an MBA and has made much more money than I ever did. She now works from home still making very good money. But some things seem to take experience to learn.

RSKY

I do not, but don't think I don't understand it. As I said you only have yourself to blame, keep doing everything for her and she will keep expecting it just like what happen in this situation and instead of you voicing your frustration to her and balance her expectation you came here. (and that's fine)

Exactly she is smart, she knows what she is doing and that is taking advantage of you. That's fine if your fine with it but your not because you are complaining about it so rectify the expectation or at the very minimum voice your frustration to her.

There is a difference between being there for her and being taking advantage of. If the trip was previously planned and paid for is one thing if she is escaping the weather and expect you to take care of everything is a other... but above sound like a whole lot of expectation.

 

[Quaffer]

And they DIDN'T EVEN INVITE US TO GO WITH THEM.

But who would watch the freezing pipes?

 

[Thomas]

Her husband should deal with issue at hand...nuff said.

 

[BackRoad]

I think I could see your smile from here as you wrote your first post Mr. RSKY.

My daughter stole my heart 40 years ago from her first wide eyed glance at me.

There's not much you wouldn't do for them...even house sitting!

 

[ponytug]

With the Ice/Snow/Cold storm of the millennium bearing down my youngest has deserted us. She got home from a four day business trip to Dallas late Thursday night. Loaded up her husband and two oldest in the Sequoia. And got us up at 4:00 this morning to pick up the two year old who had spent four nights with us while she was out of town. And three hours later they were all on a plane for Disney World.

Guess who has to look after their house if when the power goes off and the nighttime temps are in single digits.

Yep, that is me. I have told them repeatedly to have a switch installed so a generator could be hooked up. When we got our whole house generator I gave them my electric start 10K genset. But did they listen. No they did not. So it will be me hauling gas and stringing extension cords all over the place.

We are going to talk about this when they get home.

And they DIDN'T EVEN INVITE US TO GO WITH THEM.

Don't know why they didn't invite us. Neither my daughter of her husband will ride the scarier rides so granddaddy has to. We rode the supposedly bad roller coaster at Disneyland seven times in one day a couple years ago.

RSKY

So, did you ask to join them when the idea came up originally?

Consider this your chance to redecorate for your granddaughter. Paint the bedroom pink, candy strip the bathroom, store some junk in the basement, go ahead and rewire the genset interface while you are at it...nothing like being a bit crazy to have folks reassess how much they want off load on to you. I have a relative who cottoned on to that early in his career and it kept him off of a bunch of thankless things at work. Just a little erratic, not insane.

I'm all for spoiling children with love and kindness, but I also think that there is an adulthood point for everyone. Partially draining pipes is like being "slightly pregnant" in my book. If it were me, I would drag a portable air compressor over, and blow the line, drain the water heater (and replace the drain valve), and then let the house freeze, if that happens. This is not likely to be a storm that anyone wants to be out in across much of the country by all the forecasts.

All the best,

Peter

 

[dodge man]

I’ve got a daughter, I know exactly where you’re coming from. I’m very strict about helping her though. She asks me to do stuff and I do it.. She is 28 and has never paid for an oil change. I don’t pay to have it done but do it in my shop, but of course I buy the filter and oil. I “made” her do it once. It hurt me more than it did her so I do it myself now.

 

[ponytug]

I’ve got a daughter, I know exactly where you’re coming from. I’m very strict about helping her though. She asks me to do stuff and I do it.. She is 28 and has never paid for an oil change. I don’t pay to have it done but do it in my shop, but of course I buy the filter and oil. I “made” her do it once. It hurt me more than it did her so I do it myself now.

So, who trained whom on the oil change?

 

[Oaktree]

And they DIDN'T EVEN INVITE US TO GO WITH THEM.

Don't know why they didn't invite us. Neither my daughter of her husband will ride the scarier rides so granddaddy has to. We rode the supposedly bad roller coaster at Disneyland seven times in one day a couple years ago.

Not completely clear on what you're so upset about.
What obligation did she have to invite you? If I were her age, the last people I'd want tagging along on a vacation trip would be my parents.
Now, if she just took off expecting you to look after her house with no advance notice, yeah I'd be kind of ticked about that.

Actually, if there was a big storm coming I'd want to remain close to home to make sure everything's OK.

 

[1Mech]

I’ve got a daughter, I know exactly where you’re coming from. I’m very strict about helping her though. She asks me to do stuff and I do it.. She is 28 and has never paid for an oil change. I don’t pay to have it done but do it in my shop, but of course I buy the filter and oil. I “made” her do it once. It hurt me more than it did her so I do it myself now.

I change my daughter's engine oil, but she buys the oil. I can get a good price on the filters, so I still provide them.
Our kids need to to learn some responsibility. I also gave both of my kids a house. I was renting them to the kids, but somehow the rent payments never seemed to show up. The taxes and insurance were still coming due, so I transferred ownership to the kids, now it is their responsibility. I still will help them with maintenance things.

 

[bigtiller]

In some families, the oldest kid, some would call the "practice child" because the teenage parents had no idea what they were doing.

6 years later...

A baby sister was born, remained the baby her entire life. Her parents thought she could do no harm, made good decisions and was the best child ever.

 

[ponytug]

In some families, the oldest kid, some would call the "practice child" because the teenage parents had no idea what they were doing.

6 years later...

A baby sister was born, remained the baby her entire life. Her parents thought she could do no harm, made good decisions and was the best child ever.

That sounds like the voice of experience! Yes, BTDT.

All the best, Peter