Talking to telemarketers

[Mendonsy]

We had LOTS of those calls but I finally got fed up and installed a call blocker (Phonetray Pro) on one of my computers. After a couple months of blocking we went from several calls per day down to one or two per week.

 

[2LaneCruzer]

Telephone: Ring Ring
Caller I.D.: Unknown Caller
Me: Herro? Hung Chow Chinee Resaraunt...You rikee ordah?
Caller: Click.

 

[Howling]

On my business line I answer with the company name. For unknown callers that ask for me by name I ask who calling, what call is about. The finance/stockbroker guy get pushy about it is business must be put thru immediately. Sorry I can't put the call thru without that information (don't want to get fired). You can hear the rage building up in them as the gatekeeper (me) keeps them away from the boss (me).

When they ask for who handles employee benefits - Hush, don't use that evil term. Bad enough we are forced to pay that frigging minimum wage.

Have told placement companies that we have given up on employees. Much cheaper to operate with slaves.

When they ask power company account. No account, all wood fired equipment. When they push get all excited about the 20 acres of forest and the wood fired equipment.

Have left a couple telemarketers speechless by replying with quivering voice: Why are you selling newspapers to blind people?

Few years ago had a telemarketer call back and tell me it was rude to just hang up on her. Got really rude on her then hung up again.

 

[Jim Shooz]

When the M/Soft scam comes on and they get to the part where "we have received a messages from your computer" I ask is M/Soft spying on me ?how are they spying ? why are they..... One time I managed to string them along for 12 minutes before I tired and hung up.
What amuses me (it doesn't take much) is the people who take a call and keep saying no and listening and saying no again but keep on listening. Just hang up the moment you first decide you want nothing of it.

 

[downsizingnow48]

We have no landline = very few marketing calls. And I don't answer if I don't recognize the caller. If it is important they will leave a message. If no message I add it it to my blocked call list. Now I just get one or two a month.

 

[hawkeye08]

I play them as long as I can also...

One of my favorites is to ask them for credit card information to pay for call. They called me asking for help, I have hourly rates, if they prepay I can give them a break. They can also send a Purchase order for a not to exceed amount.

I figure the longer I keep them on the phone, the fewer people they are able to call and harass.

 

[TheMan419]

For legitimate telemarketers I just ask them to put me on their do not call list and remind them I am on the federal and Indiana lists and hang up. No need to be rude to them. They are likely just trying to put food on the table.

However, the Microsoft security scammers (or similar) get what they have coming. Sometimes it is a shouting swearing match. Some times it is talking to them like I am following their instructions. Then after I have had them on the line for 10 min or longer I ask them why MS is monitoring my Apple Computer.

 

[farmer2009]

I love the ones saying they are calling from Microsoft about my computer. I answer every question by repeating what they said, but as a question. Then occasionally I toss in a diversion. And I start asking them questions. Drags out for about 5 minutes before they have gone down a path that they have no response. Then dead air. Makes me feel good.

them- "hello I'm calling from Microsoft about a problem with your computer"
me - "a problem with my computer?"
them - "yes I am calling from MS about a problem with your computer"
me - "a problem with my computer?"
them - "uh, yes there is a problem with your computer that needs attention"
me - "there's a problem with my computer that needs attention?"
them - "yes your computer is sending us messages of a problem"
me - "my computer is sending you messages?"
them - "yes serious problem with your computer"
me - "a problem with my computer?"
them - "(heavy sigh) yes we received messages from your computer"
me - "my computer? I don't have a computer"
them - "you don't have a computer?"
me - "no. how do you have messages from it? hey what's going on here, I don't have a computer"
them - "you don't have a computer? yes you do"
me - "no, I don't have a computer."
them - "yes you do. I show you have one"
me - "no I don't have a computer. I have a phone"
them - "you have a phone?"
me - "yes I have a phone"
them - "(confused) you have a phone?"
me - "yes, I'm talking to you on it. did it send you messages?
them - "no, your computer sends us messages. there is a problem"
me - "I think you should call my computer then, not my phone"
...and so on. I love it. I can't wait for the next one.

The last call I got about from fake Microsoft went a lot like yours. Except I just kept asking "What is a computer? Can you explain these computers?" He finally said you don't know what a computer is. I said nope please explain. He asked where I lived and I responded that my closest neighbor was 4 miles away and I hadn't seen another person in months. He said "Oh I got one that lives in the sticks." And hung up. Hasn't called back either.

Most calls don't get answered if I don't know them. But the few that do just get hung up on. Unless I'm in a bad mood. Then they will receive a cussing for calling while I'm trying to recover from surgery or the flu or for waking the hooligans. One of those every once in a while does gets you added to a real no call list. You'll stay on it for about 6 months before the calls return. .