This is ridiculous! Blaming yourself for what- ordering a tractor and hoe?!
You didn't answer the question about what paperwork you have on the deal. I'm beginning to smell a trolling effect here....
This story as told so far makes no sense. You, the OP don't want to press the dealer owner, because he's a nice guy, because you don't want to cause a problem?! Again, makes NO SENSE. You're supposedly due a backhoe, that has taken 2 months to not show up and you're willing to just take some pieces of the puzzle?! I don't think so. I think that unless you start telling the real story this one is bogus.
What model tractor? What date of purchase? What model hoe and serial numbers on both pieces of equipment. If you can't produce any of the above, I call bogus BS story.