Instilling a strong work ethic

[CajunRider]

Today is all about Survivor style work. Those with good work ethics get **** on. Good work ethics is a thing of the past just like most good things form generations before. its all about progressing.....imo progressing into nothing. Teach your kids to compete survivor style not work ethics style.

I guess then I and all my kids are dinosaurs. Perhaps we will get **** on but we still will survive some way some how. I know my kids are interested in getting their future offsprings to have the same work ethics because they ask me to teach their children things once they have children.

 

[DrRod]

In another thread there were lots of cases cited where the kids were made to do some noxious chore as punishment. I think this is the wrong thing to do. If work is punishment they will grow up hating it. I also think kids hate work because much of it is lonely. If you work together in the garden and talk and joke the whole time the work becomes second nature. I've seen Amish families harvesting corn together and it looked like a party. And try to find something interesting for the kid to do so its not all drudgery. I gave one of my kids responsibility for the martin house and he took such pride in it and kept it clean and in ship shape for years. And I don't mind giving money to them for work -- they are part of the household and should share in what is produced. So I guess the point is to make work a positive experience to the extent possible. End of my two cents on the matter.

 

[Redlands Okie]

Money for helping out around the house or chores I am not sure about. But the rest of the ideas sounds good to me. Might as well work a positive experience.

 

[hawkeye08]

I set a good example for my kids, involved them in the work at home even though it often took longer to do it with them than if I had just done it myself. 2 of my 3 daughters are hard workers as adults, the youngest has has changed jobs at least once a year, never happy.

 

[bunyip]

Money for helping out around the house or chores I am not sure about. But the rest of the ideas sounds good to me. Might as well work a positive experience.

They expect an allowance, I expect something in return.
Ours started off with small jobs like emptying the dishwasher and such like, cleaning their rooms is their responsibility and if dirty washing doesn't go in the washing basket it doesn't get washed, quite simple really.
Eldest daughter (30) is at home and does the washing and puts it out, she is a full time med student and cant afford to live away from home so she gets free board and she washes and cleans around home.
She did vet science then decided to do medicine so we are stuck with her for another couple of years.

 

[CajunRider]

In another thread there were lots of cases cited where the kids were made to do some noxious chore as punishment. I think this is the wrong thing to do. If work is punishment they will grow up hating it. I also think kids hate work because much of it is lonely. If you work together in the garden and talk and joke the whole time the work becomes second nature. I've seen Amish families harvesting corn together and it looked like a party. And try to find something interesting for the kid to do so its not all drudgery. I gave one of my kids responsibility for the martin house and he took such pride in it and kept it clean and in ship shape for years. And I don't mind giving money to them for work -- they are part of the household and should share in what is produced. So I guess the point is to make work a positive experience to the extent possible. End of my two cents on the matter.

I've never used chores as punishment. Whenever I asked my kids to do something, I'm usually along side them doing the same thing or doing something to help them. I never give money for chores however. I give them money for whenever they ask if the requests are within reasons.

 

[Dftodd]

I've never used chores as punishment. Whenever I asked my kids to do something, I'm usually along side them doing the same thing or doing something to help them. I never give money for chores however. I give them money for whenever they ask if the requests are within reasons.

Our kids had to earn the spending money, through chores and such. And..... They had to plan ahead if they had something they needed money for as well. No last second, you do this for me, and I'll do this for you type deal. If not they got what they wanted, and left you high and dry

Took a couple no's for it to sink in, but then they got it. Sons used to mow the yard and help with wood, and other outdoor tasks and there rooms and bathroom. Daughter would take care of her room, and sweep and mop the main areas of the house (living room, kitchen/ dining room, and hallways) as well as the bathroom. The kids bathroom was all of there responsibilities.

Daughter figured it out really fast. If I came home from work with her meeting me at the door, house was spotless, and dishes were done, I knew my wallet was fixing to take a beating big time

 

[dieselscout80]

Example!!

Work the snot out of yourself right beside him as he’s getting the snot worked out too.

Our son is a real worker.

But now it’s getting hard to keep up. ��

 

[4570Man]

I never got any allowance. I mowed my grandpas yard for spending money. My mom worked and use kids did most of the housework.

 

[teejk]

Example!!

Work the snot out of yourself right beside him as he’s getting the snot worked out too.

Our son is a real worker.

But now it’s getting hard to keep up. ��

Yup...but sooner or later you hand the tasks off to him and he becomes you and his children become him.

 

[dieselscout80]

Yup...but sooner or later you hand the tasks off to him and he becomes you and his children become him.

That’s the goal, so the process continues perpetually.

 

[NoTrespassing]

A short update after over 4 years. At 10 years old my son had become quite responsible. He has 8 chickens and 2 dogs that he cares for now along with burning the garbage. He is VERY diligent about his schoolwork getting straight A's. Last year he read more books than anyone in his class thanks to encouragement from his mother mostly. At the Catholic school he attends he is expected to be a mentor to younger kids and has 2 kids assigned to him that he watches over at different times including weekly church services.

I had a surprising conversation with him this week about something I overheard him talking about with his mother this week. The kids in the school actually do the dishes from the lunch service. He is assigned dish duty 2 days per week Wednesdays and Fridays. Kids are either assigned as scrapers, sprayers, or dryers. The dishes are actually washed in a machine. I think public schools could take note of this.

When I was a sophomore in high school me and one other kid cleaned the entire grade school floor to ceiling including all desks and chairs. It took us all summer and we earned minimum wage for it.

 

[ROUSTABOUT]

Never mind the work ethic of the parents. How about just having two parents for starters? There has been a consistent 50% Divorce rate for many decades. Why does society not address the root cause of this?

And then factor in the single parent rate and it's a whopper. I read from a black woman that 72% of black women are raising kids alone. Add in demographics to your totals and it's overwhelming.

 

[HawkinsHollow]

Thanks for the update which bumped this thread up and brought it to my attention. Lots of good insight here!

I have a 10 year old as well who we are just starting to break into the world of real chores.

Last spring we also started a small firewood business for him to teach him these lessons. We just sold our first seasons worth of wood, a little short of a cord. Hoping to teach him hard work usually=$. So far it is going well. He just made $290 selling firewood to 3 people. Now mind you I am doing more work than him to make this a reality but he is getting no free tickets here. He is right there working next to me the whole time. Over the next couple of years I will be handing off more of the responsibility to him all the while teaching him lessons about hard work, money, that goods and services cost money, saving vs. spending etc. Should be interesting to watch how this evolves over the next couple of years.

Good luck! The fact that you are asking these questions and going the extra mile to instill these values is way more than half the battle IMO. LOTS of kids don't have that, or they are taught the WRONG lessons about these things.

 

[Egon]

Hey All,

Reading this forum, I constantly see complaints about a lack of work ethic in "today's youth" or the population in general. I waited a long time to start a family, I'm in my mid 50's now and I have a six-year-old son. I'd like to hear other's successful experiences raising a child and instilling a strong work ethic. I've discussed this topic with a few people I work with and most of them tell me they can't get their kids to do anything. When I hear this, my reaction is to recoil in disbelief but I've heard the same story so many times I guess it's true. I usually ask, what do you mean, you can't get them to do anything? You actually let them tell you no?

So far I think my wife and I have done ok. I understand each kid is different. My wife is very tough on him when it comes to school work and has been since he was very little. He's in kindergarten now, reading at a third grade level and has his times tables down pretty well.

As far as chores around the house are concerned, right now he only has one daily responsibility and that's making sure the dogs have food at all times. He's been doing that since he was four and he's pretty good at it. Now that spring has sprung there will be a lot more opportunities for him to help out around the place.

Yesterday I asked him to help his mother pick up the garden so I can till soon. He went to help my wife and tried walking off after the first task. I said, "Kyle! Where are you going?" to which he replied "to play with the dogs". I marched him back over to his mother and explained, "you are not finished helping your mother until she tells you that you're done with the job". After that he kept working with her and until all the buckets, tomatato cages, etc. were picked up.

Somehow, I ended up with a decent work ethic and I'm just going from memory on how to teach it to my boy. I praise him and reward him when he gives a good effort. I scold him and withhold rewards when he doesn't. How did everyone else do it and did it work in the end?

Kevin

Kids need time to be kids not little workhorses!

 

[Dftodd]

Kids need time to be kids not little workhorses!

Depends on the kid. I was mowing lawns, raking leaves, and stacking firewood for neighbors starting around 10 years old to earn some spending money.

An hour or two after school a couple nights a week, or a few hours a week mowing yards in the summer. Still had plenty of time to be a kid and get into mischief.

But I also had money to spend on candy, comics, or a bottle of pop when I wanted as well.

I had friends growing up whose family were dairy farmers. They were up at 4am to feed and milk before leaving for school.

Then milking and feeding after school. Field work as well in summer as well as continuing the daily schedule of milking, feeding, and mucking stalls.

 

[deserteagle71]

I had friends growing up whose family were dairy farmers. They were up at 4am to feed and milk before leaving for school.

Then milking and feeding after school. Field work as well in summer as well as continuing the daily schedule of milking, feeding, and mucking stalls.

^This was me. Dairy farming is a twice-a-day, 7 day a week, 365 day a year job. No Thanksgiving holiday off, no Christmas holiday off...365 days a year those cows have to be milked and cared for.

So when I got my draft notice and ended up in boot camp and then 4 years in the Navy, I found it was much easier than working on the dairy farm. And there were days off, and leave (vacation)! So when my time in the military was up, for sure I WAS NOT going back to dairy farming.