abrogator? Post driver!#%@&

[Fuddy1952]

I'm having a barn built, last couple weeks I've been helping this fellow Bob since his helper left. I felt sorry for him working alone, he needed help. I didn't worry or ask about pay, I'm retired and believe in the end the company will most likely have consideration.
This morning Bob is telling me he bought a farm not far about 10 miles from here, and there "is a barn full of equipment I'll never use". Then he asked me if I could use a Danuser post driver! He said he listed it for sale for $300...when ad came out he said his phone never stopped ringing.
Then he said "If you'd like to have it I can say it's sold". My reply was "Yes Bob, I'd love to have it". (My exact words)
After lunch I'm helping Bob and he asks how far this place is... I tell him it's about 3 hours away. He said "A guy is coming to get the driver!".
I reminded him I said I wanted it this morning. He said he misunderstood and this other guy is almost here. Bob left the job to meet him at 3pm.
I'm pixxed to say the least, my wife is too.

 

[Industrial Toys]

re: abrogator? Post driver!#%@&

I had "friends" do similar, and that was the last I ever had anything to do with them. IF, there was some jibber jabber and maybe a misunderstanding, that is just unfortunate but forgiveable.

 

[Fuddy1952]

re: abrogator? Post driver!#%@&

That's what I told him I couldn't understand...when someone says yes, I'd love to have it, what else could I do? My wife's mad as a hornet, said not to help him anymore. All he had to tell that buyer was "I'm working with a guy who wants it. If that deal falls through I'll call you".
I really wanted it and could have used it.

 

[Industrial Toys]

re: abrogator? Post driver!#%@&

Generally, either the person cares that little about you, cares more about someone else (maybe got offered more) or some passive aggressive thing (like jealousy) going on. Amazing how really $%$% up some seemingly normal people actually are.

 

[Stancoll]

re: abrogator? Post driver!#%@&

I too have "convenient friends". When its convenient for them. One particular one wants me to chase every thing down for him, but when you ask them to do similar, uhhh, they are too busy. I do not get it. Maybe I was raised a little different, not better than anyone, but lend a hand when its needed or even sometimes when its not. Seems more kindness comes back from the pay it forward from strangers than from family or friend. Wife is real big on helping family, me, not so much other than my wife and sons. Family sometimes seem to be mooches. Oh well, my gripe for today.

 

[EddieWalker]

re: abrogator? Post driver!#%@&

I try not to keep a score card, but over the years I've found that there are a lot of people who are always wanting some help, but never ever have the time to provide any help. Very one sided, and when I realize this, I tend to move on and not have anything more to do with those people.

Has this friend ever helped you out with anything in the past?

 

[Stancoll]

re: abrogator? Post driver!#%@&

I try not to keep a score card, but over the years I've found that there are a lot of people who are always wanting some help, but never ever have the time to provide any help. Very one sided, and when I realize this, I tend to move on and not have anything more to do with those people.

Has this friend ever helped you out with anything in the past?

Eddie. too whom was this addressed?

 

[Lnk]

re: abrogator? Post driver!#%@&

I too have "convenient friends". When its convenient for them. One particular one wants me to chase every thing down for him, but when you ask them to do similar, uhhh, they are too busy. I do not get it. Maybe I was raised a little different, not better than anyone, but lend a hand when its needed or even sometimes when its not. Seems more kindness comes back from the pay it forward from strangers than from family or friend. Wife is real big on helping family, me, not so much other than my wife and sons. Family sometimes seem to be mooches. Oh well, my gripe for today.

I have tried to help people many times that claimed they needed help, but when I said, let's go take care of it. They wanted me to do it around some future schedule. They expected me to do it all without them helping. I am always willing to help someone, key word being help. I don't understand people sometimes.

Now, if you want me to do something for you and you don't want to help or learn how from me. I will be busy that day.

 

[the old grind]

re: abrogator? Post driver!#%@&

Facts of life, guys and gals. As we get older we deal more and more with younger folks to whom promises are often just idle talk to gain favor. Their two most common expressions I hear are 'I'm gonna' (not meaning this year, or within 5) or 'I was gonna' (here's your sticker anyway,l what you're going for). I'm invited to all Birthdays, graduations, weddings, cookouts, etc and told I'm 'family'. I call them the "Willenwoods". Anything you mention, they 'will help you with'. Anything you actually do, they 'would'. Maybe the dog whose never had a bath needs one, and that translates to 'my weekend is tied up'. A promise lives forever, as long a one doesn't keep it.

As such a 'friend', I'm welcome to visit any day to sit with the dog and watch a TV show they ignore while staring at their phones the whole time, ignoring anything I say, but talking during the show, so I get nothing from it while waiting for them to blurt out whatever phrase that isn't worth hearing or repeating. IMO the height of such attitude reflects being from the 'spoiled generation born since 1980 or so. It''s just the way they are, and we're told to let them have/do what they're used to.

btw, I have my house siding 'job' (all mat'ls) taking up space in the barn. It's been there since Oct 2016 because all my 'closest friends' have promised to help me ... after I fix their hydraulic leaks, install a new well pump, grind stumps, till gardens, clear driveways, deliver compost, set up and debug all their network bling, remove trees, install antennas, jump at any hour during a power blackout, repair their cars & trucks, and a handful of other things I like to do while being 'on call' 24/7 for any and every little problem. I'm single, retired, and paying back for living so long and in such good health. It's just the way I am, and at 69 I don't see my attitude daunted the least for how I'm treated by others.

There are givers and takers, and we tend to be one or the other. So, some guy felt more entitled than grateful, selling out a promise for ca$h. It won't be the last time. We should be grateful that we can rely on ourselves when others will leave us alone while they shop for stuff they can't afford, pick out a rerun to watch, or talk endlessly about what they're 'gonna' do. I should live that long. Meanwhile, when I'm run into a ditch or have a flat tire, the thing to do is to call jon. He always comes to the rescue ... except he's stuck on the road somewhere. I'm used to it.

 

[CobyRupert]

re: abrogator? Post driver!#%@&

I'm having a barn built, last couple weeks I've been helping this fellow Bob since his helper left. I felt sorry for him working alone, he needed help. I didn't worry or ask about pay, I'm retired and believe in the end the company will most likely have consideration.
This morning Bob is telling me he bought a farm not far about 10 miles from here, and there "is a barn full of equipment I'll never use". Then he asked me if I could use a Danuser post driver! He said he listed it for sale for $300...when ad came out he said his phone never stopped ringing.
Then he said "If you'd like to have it I can say it's sold". My reply was "Yes Bob, I'd love to have it". (My exact words)
After lunch I'm helping Bob and he asks how far this place is... I tell him it's about 3 hours away. He said "A guy is coming to get the driver!".
I reminded him I said I wanted it this morning. He said he misunderstood and this other guy is almost here. Bob left the job to meet him at 3pm.
I'm pixxed to say the least, my wife is too.

Playing Devil's advocate here :devil::

You told us your exact words "...I'd love t have it"; but what were his exact words?

Where they something like: "Could you use it? ......I'm selling it for $300....phone never stops ringing (reading between the lines: "So that's a really good deal! Interested?)"

Was he "gifting" it to you or offering you first choice at $300? It's not clear what he was actually offering.

I'd like to think this is in the "Misunderstanding" category, and that people aren't generally rotten liars, but then again, don't believe me. Like I said, I'm working for the Devil.

p.s. After you said "you'd love to have it" and there was no talk of money, he should of clarified exactly what he was asking before selling it to someone else. He may of been a bit embarrassed of the misunderstanding. Or wanted to avoid saying that dreaded word "No" (I didn't mean I was giving it away)

I find that a lot of "untrustworthy" people ("These kids today!" :hissyfit are often just people who want to avoid conflict. They will lie, ignore and go out of their way to avoid saying "No." They will make promises they know the won't keep just so that won't have to say "No". I think it's rooted in the "Don't offend anybody" mentality...or cowardice. Or they're not even being honest with themselves when it comes to their schedule, priorities, etc...

I understand that from your position of working for free, many would expect that he was 'gifting" it to you as a payment...but we don't know the situational details of that relationship.

 

[Lnk]

re: abrogator? Post driver!#%@&

Facts of life, guys and gals. As we get older we deal more and more with younger folks to whom promises are often just idle talk to gain favor. Their two most common expressions I hear are 'I'm gonna' (not meaning this year, or within 5) or 'I was gonna' (here's your sticker anyway,l what you're going for). I'm invited to all Birthdays, graduations, weddings, cookouts, etc and told I'm 'family'. I call them the "Willenwoods". Anything you mention, they 'will help you with'. Anything you actually do, they 'would'. Maybe the dog whose never had a bath needs one, and that translates to 'my weekend is tied up'. A promise lives forever, as long a one doesn't keep it.

As such a 'friend', I'm welcome to visit any day to sit with the dog and watch a TV show they ignore while staring at their phones the whole time, ignoring anything I say, but talking during the show, so I get nothing from it while waiting for them to blurt out whatever phrase that isn't worth hearing or repeating. IMO the height of such attitude reflects being from the 'spoiled generation born since 1980 or so. It''s just the way they are, and we're told to let them have/do what they're used to.

btw, I have my house siding 'job' (all mat'ls) taking up space in the barn. It's been there since Oct 2016 because all my 'closest friends' have promised to help me ... after I fix their hydraulic leaks, install a new well pump, grind stumps, till gardens, clear driveways, deliver compost, set up and debug all their network bling, remove trees, install antennas, jump at any hour during a power blackout, repair their cars & trucks, and a handful of other things I like to do while being 'on call' 24/7 for any and every little problem. I'm single, retired, and paying back for living so long and in such good health. It's just the way I am, and at 69 I don't see my attitude daunted the least for how I'm treated by others.

There are givers and takers, and we tend to be one or the other. So, some guy felt more entitled than grateful, selling out a promise for ca$h. It won't be the last time. We should be grateful that we can rely on ourselves when others will leave us alone while they shop for stuff they can't afford, pick out a rerun to watch, or talk endlessly about what they're 'gonna' do. I should live that long. Meanwhile, when I'm run into a ditch or have a flat tire, the thing to do is to call jon. He always comes to the rescue ... except he's stuck on the road somewhere. I'm used to it.

Well said. Are you me? Not single though....

 

[buckeyefarmer]

re: abrogator? Post driver!#%@&

Alzheimer's?

 

[thekkfan]

re: abrogator? Post driver!#%@&

Maybe you should have said, "yes I'd love to have it in swap for the labor I've been giving you!"

 

[ovrszd]

re: abrogator? Post driver!#%@&

Playing Devil's advocate here :devil::

You told us your exact words "...I'd love t have it"; but what were his exact words?

Where they something like: "Could you use it? ......I'm selling it for $300....phone never stops ringing (reading between the lines: "So that's a really good deal! Interested?)"

Was he "gifting" it to you or offering you first choice at $300? It's not clear what he was actually offering.

I'd like to think this is in the "Misunderstanding" category, and that people aren't generally rotten liars, but then again, don't believe me. Like I said, I'm working for the Devil.

p.s. After you said "you'd love to have it" and there was no talk of money, he should of clarified exactly what he was asking before selling it to someone else. He may of been a bit embarrassed of the misunderstanding. Or wanted to avoid saying that dreaded word "No" (I didn't mean I was giving it away)

I find that a lot of "untrustworthy" people ("These kids today!" :hissyfit are often just people who want to avoid conflict. They will lie, ignore and go out of their way to avoid saying "No." They will make promises they know the won't keep just so that won't have to say "No". I think it's rooted in the "Don't offend anybody" mentality...or cowardice.

I understand that from your position of working for free, many would expect that he was 'gifting" it to you as a payment...but we don't know the situational details of that relationship.

From my chair, I agree. I think he offered first chance and you didn't say you'd buy it.

 

[Ford850]

re: abrogator? Post driver!#%@&

Playing Devil's advocate here :devil::

You told us your exact words "...I'd love t have it"; but what were his exact words?

Where they something like: "Could you use it? ......I'm selling it for $300....phone never stops ringing (reading between the lines: "So that's a really good deal! Interested?)"

Was he "gifting" it to you or offering you first choice at $300? It's not clear what he was actually offering.

I'd like to think this is in the "Misunderstanding" category, and that people aren't generally rotten liars, but then again, don't believe me. Like I said, I'm working for the Devil.

p.s. After you said "you'd love to have it" and there was no talk of money, he should of clarified exactly what he was asking before selling it to someone else. He may of been a bit embarrassed of the misunderstanding. Or wanted to avoid saying that dreaded word "No" (I didn't mean I was giving it away)

I find that a lot of "untrustworthy" people ("These kids today!" :hissyfit are often just people who want to avoid conflict. They will lie, ignore and go out of their way to avoid saying "No." They will make promises they know the won't keep just so that won't have to say "No". I think it's rooted in the "Don't offend anybody" mentality...or cowardice. Or they're not even being honest with themselves when it comes to their schedule, priorities, etc...

I understand that from your position of working for free, many would expect that he was 'gifting" it to you as a payment...but we don't know the situational details of that relationship.

This was my take on it too. He has a barn full of equipment he'll never use and mentioned the hottest item with the most interest. I think the offer was to jump ahead of the callers if interested at the asking price. It sounded like a great opportunity at $300.

 

[Fuddy1952]

re: abrogator? Post driver!#%@&

Thanks for replies.
To clarify: I hired a company to build a horse barn for me. Same company built my garage many years ago.
They've been working on it for a few months. I told company I'm not in a big hurry and it's a big project.
Each day I would stop by just for a few minutes to chat and bring a soda or Gatorade. Ten minutes maybe.
A couple weeks ago I saw the main guy "Bob" working alone. I asked what happened, he said workers left. I asked what happened? Bob said he didn't know.
I asked if I could help...he said that would be fantastic, so I did. For two weeks, every day I'd work, hard work, no mention of pay.
I even supplied some lumber of mine one day as he was short. Bob said "This is one for the books!".
So Bob isn't a friend really...I was helping out. I assume company would have some consideration, so far I've paid half.
Yesterday as we were working is when Bob mentioned post driver...would I like to buy it. It's for sale $300. I said "yes, I'd love to have it". After lunch he mentioned some guy driving a long distance to pick it up. I said "what!?!? You said I could buy it! Call him back, say it's sold". He said too late, he's on the way. Goes on to say "I didn't think you were serious". I repeated what I said...he said "well, I have to leave now to meet him...maybe he won't buy it".
I said no one is driving 3 hours one way and not get it. Then he said "I didn't know how expensive they were...but I priced it at $300, that's what guy is paying".
I feel screwed royally. I could have used it, needed it.
I'm taking my wife's advice...no more helping Bob.

 

[1010]

re: abrogator? Post driver!#%@&

Might explain why his help left him! just saying.

 

[Industrial Toys]

re: abrogator? Post driver!#%@&

Several BIG mistakes someone can make. Helping or giving stuff in expectation of reciprocity. Being too wishy-washy. If you get something, buy something or make a deal, pay for it, do up paperwork, take the thing into your possession ASAP!

On a similar note. Ever have friends that always want something you got advantageously? They never get up at 5 am to go to an auction but when you get a bunch of something, they speak up and say they wiill take one of those!

I had a neighbor that I think I did plenty for. I always dropped what I was doing to help him. He offered to help with his equipment as I had little, but then it would be sometime next thursday and then he would always be in such a rush, it was no fun. He was a busy and focused man, I get that. ME, not so much.

Anyway, he gave me his old FORD dumptruck. I fixed it up a little, and thought this was my reward for years of helping. He was/is a rather wealthy man. Then he announced that he really could use the truck! He had bought a new one, but figured two would work better. I bet he never used it and it just rotted away at his place.

That was the end of my dealings with him. We still talk a bit when he calls to see if my power is out too. Sometimes, I think of the truck and don't pick up the phone. lol Let him go driving around to see if it is just him that is out.

 

[Scrambler82]

re: abrogator? Post driver!#%@&

I had a neighbor back n New England, she had an old car in the back yard, I needed a car, or at least wanted it, and asked her about it. She said if you can drive it out you can have it, she added her mechanic said it wasn't worth fixing, so she gave up on it. I only wanted it to get running, cut off the back, add a second transmission, and make a kidder out of it, so it was what I needed nothing more.

I lifted the hood, checked out the things necessary to start it, jumped it, and wham-bam the little thing started up and I drove it home.
Four days later I get a call for the lady asking if she could have the car back, she shows up the same day with a new exhaust system and asked if I would put it on before she took it back... !

As you all have said, people are funnier than we think !

In my case I have never helped her out, she has never asked for help, her son hangs with my brother... and I am just a good guy, so I fixed it up and she drove it away... smiling, without even a thank you !

As it turns out the vehicle made it a month and broke down again, did she call me and ask if I wanted back... NOT, and I have never heard from her again ! Funny !

Ltr

 

[4570Man]

re: abrogator? Post driver!#%@&

You should have paid the guy right then. I never consider anything sold until I have the money in hand. In my experience people are incredibly flaky. I don’t understand why you’d promise to buy something and then never show up to get it. I’d take someone’s offer to buy something pretty lightly and someone standing there right now would take it every time. I’ve been burned too many times to do it different.