How would you handle this neighbor issue?

[edlegault]

One more thought: after getting it surveyed, put up a good fence, then send him a bill for his half of the fence costs along his side :laughing:

 

[dmccarty]

I don't know if this would work, or even if I would try this, but here is an idea.

Many years ago I had a girl friend that spent a couple of years in Japan teaching English. She had a party one night in her place and the lady next door was pounding on the wall to get them to quiet down. Which they did not.

The next morning there was a knock on the door. It was the lady next door whom the girl friend's party had disturbed. The lady had a big basket of fresh fruit. Fresh fruit is very expensive in Japan. The lady gave the basket of fruit to my girl friend and the LADY apologized for banging on the wall disturbing my girl friends party. :laughing:

The lady SHAMED my girl friend with the gift. :thumbsup:

The girl friend never threw a loud party again. :laughing:

I have never been in a position to try The Gift Of Shame but someday it might be useful.

Later,
Dan

 

[MossRoad]

... I just wanted to be nice and try to be freindly ...

That'll teach ya! :laughing:

As others have said, stay away from them. Don't interract with them. Have the property surveyed, fenced and marked. Good luck. :thumbsup:

 

[kf4uda]

I don't know if this would work, or even if I would try this, but here is an idea.

Many years ago I had a girl friend that spent a couple of years in Japan teaching English. She had a party one night in her place and the lady next door was pounding on the wall to get them to quiet down. Which they did not.

The next morning there was a knock on the door. It was the lady next door whom the girl friend's party had disturbed. The lady had a big basket of fresh fruit. Fresh fruit is very expensive in Japan. The lady gave the basket of fruit to my girl friend and the LADY apologized for banging on the wall disturbing my girl friends party. :laughing:

The lady SHAMED my girl friend with the gift. :thumbsup:

The girl friend never threw a loud party again. :laughing:

I have never been in a position to try The Gift Of Shame but someday it might be useful.

Later,
Dan

Maybe some revision of that idea would be something to try. Just replace basket of fruit with some act of kindness of your choice. Abraham Lincoln once said "The best way to destroy your enemy is to make him your friend". While they may not be your enemy yet, it sounds like it may be headed in that direction. I personally would much rather have another friend than an enemy. I will admit that some people do make it tough.

 

[Robert_in_NY]

Maybe some revision of that idea would be something to try. Just replace basket of fruit with some act of kindness of your choice. Abraham Lincoln once said "The best way to destroy your enemy is to make him your friend". While they may not be your enemy yet, it sounds like it may be headed in that direction. I personally would much rather have another friend than an enemy. I will admit that some people do make it tough.

I didn't want them to be an enemy. I tried to be friendly and introduce myself properly. I don't intend to let things excalate, I'm just going to survey, mark, post and move on with my life. But for every little setback something good always comes up unexpectedly and today more then made up for yesterday

 

[zonta223]

The wife did say she wants me to cut down a small locust grove because it blocks her view of the fireworks display the local winery puts on every year. She has lots of ideas for my ground I believe.

Also, I dont live there. We have 150 acres there now and are about to add another 35 acre parcel. We're going to have a Vineyard running almost the entire length of that boundary

Wait till you start to spray the vines and do you harvest at night? I can imagine their reaction to that. Seen it many times people buy property next to a vineyard and want the vineyard to cease operation.
And with out a secure boundary fence I can imagine newly planted vine growth could be under threat and or unwanted crop "thinning" when they get ripe.
Luckily I have no problems with my neighbors and a couple of bottles of wine helps smooths the way. :laughing:

 

[Robert_in_NY]

Wait till you start to spray the vines and do you harvest at night? I can imagine their reaction to that. Seen it many times people buy property next to a vineyard and want the vineyard to cease operation.
And with out a secure boundary fence I can imagine newly planted vine growth could be under threat and or unwanted crop "thinning" when they get ripe.
Luckily I have no problems with my neighbors and a couple of bottles of wine helps smooths the way. :laughing:

They have been there long before me. My farm isn't a problem, the grapes have been growing there for at least 30 years. I'm just expanding them. The neighbor has a horse and the wife mentioned that they bale their own hay. So I do not feel farming is going to be an issue. Their just not the most personable from my experience so far. It's a shame really as its better when neighbors get along.

 

[RobertN]

Not to go off topic, but...

What kind of grapes are you growing? Wine, table, or? I would have guessed you were kinda far north from grapes...

the area I am in, the "heart" of the 1849 Gold Rush, is also a big wine area. No real big places like some in Napa, but a lot of small to medium size wineries.

My farm isn't a problem, the grapes have been growing there for at least 30 years. I'm just expanding them.

 

[yandeereguy]

This..........

Survey

Fence

Avoid

Visible Sidearm (I think people seeing you legally well armed on your property is one of the best things any landowner can do.....cuts down on bullies, theft, trespass, etc.)



who wants to argue with a guy open carrying.. Now I'm not saying open carrying is like the wild west but are you gonna start shooting grass clippings at a guy thats got a cannon on his hip.. sounds like a real chicken **** man if you ask me.. to coward to talk

 

[Robert_in_NY]

Not to go off topic, but...

What kind of grapes are you growing? Wine, table, or? I would have guessed you were kinda far north from grapes...

the area I am in, the "heart" of the 1849 Gold Rush, is also a big wine area. No real big places like some in Napa, but a lot of small to medium size wineries.

We're protected by lake erie which makes along this area excellent for grapes. I have 3 acres of catawbas, 2.5 acres of niagaras and 27.5 acres of concords. Our grapes go to welches and another processor for juice and jellies. The catawabs go to a processor for pressing and sold to wineries.

 

[yandeereguy]

I would'nt have any dealings with those people at all.. they will sue you as soon as they get the chance.. If they even remotely think you have any kind of money watch out.. I would also make sure they physically cannot enter your property..

 

[TCJatko]

I have been dealing with neighbor that pulled a corner pin and hammered it back (could see the marks on the cap) for 10 years. The 100' markers posts have been removed by them etc. Stick with your survery plan and make the posts as permanent as possible.

In New Hampshire it's a crime to remove boundary markers (momuments).

 

[RobertBrown]

I keep trying to look at things from their perspective and to a point I could understand where the wife was coming from but I don't know the particulars of what happened as it was quite a few years ago but the husband just baffles me as I can't see any reason how anyone could intentionally blow grass clippings on a person standing 3' away from them on the boundry while making eye contact.

You can never tell what someone might be thinking. Especially someone whom you have never met or even talked to.
These people obviously don't think like you, so your not going to be able to think like them, and that seems to me to be a good thing.
It's in your best interest to discover what they are about first, and then decide the best way to deal with them.
To this end, I suggest you get to a point where you can have a conversation, and I wouldn't necessarily be overly polite about it.
I'm going to guess that these people won't recognize bad manners quickly, so the first chance you get..... get thier attention and find out what's up, and what thier concerns are. You may find they are just a bunch of paranoid idiots, you may find they have some specific concerns, coupled with bad information and a poor intelect. That's always a bad combination.
I find it hard to believe that the grass incident was anything other than an intended insult, so for some reason or another they are not happy.

 

[sixdogs]

I didn't read all the posts but no sidearms that escalate the issue. The point is to diffuse and not engage. Get the survey and while that's in progress get a copy of "The Gift of Fear...Survival Skills." . This is standard stuff for cops and helps you identify just who in life is a threat and who is just full of it. My guess is your goobers are broke and have nothing but words and minor deeds to try to scare you away. Read the book.
The goal here is no escalation. Do the survey, flag it and avoid them. If you have any unintended contact be carfeful with threats. Just don't make any. If they threaten you make notes and tell them you do not want to escalate the situation and don't want to call the sheriff but good fences make good neighbors and the issue is pretty clear here.
If they had a reasonable sense of the law they would never have blown grass on you or your side. That is truly stupid and reveals their ignorance of issues that matter. Do the survey, read the book, no escalate and keep growing those concord grapes.

 

[chkntrktr]

I wonder if you have talked to the widow lady about those people? I don't remember seeing that in any previous posts. (If I missed that I'm sorry). She may know something about their history that could help you. I still believe the wife is running things and she told him not to talk to you. Good luck.

 

[Robert_in_NY]

I didn't read all the posts but no sidearms that escalate the issue. The point is to diffuse and not engage. Get the survey and while that's in progress get a copy of "The Gift of Fear...Survival Skills." . This is standard stuff for cops and helps you identify just who in life is a threat and who is just full of it. My guess is your goobers are broke and have nothing but words and minor deeds to try to scare you away. Read the book.
The goal here is no escalation. Do the survey, flag it and avoid them. If you have any unintended contact be carfeful with threats. Just don't make any. If they threaten you make notes and tell them you do not want to escalate the situation and don't want to call the sheriff but good fences make good neighbors and the issue is pretty clear here.
If they had a reasonable sense of the law they would never have blown grass on you or your side. That is truly stupid and reveals their ignorance of issues that matter. Do the survey, read the book, no escalate and keep growing those concord grapes.

Exactly, nothing is gained by escalating conflict. I learned that years ago and have no intentions of trying to contact these neighbors ever again. I will survey and post the boundry and stay on my own land and take away any reason for them to come on my land since the only reason they do now is to mow part of mine. When that grass is dead there is no need to mow it. If I have enough room I will dig an open ditch but other wise I will run a tile and keep everything on my side and just continue on my happy way

I do love farming in general and growing grapes is very rewarding. Its a very exciting time for me, I have been building my farm for 8 years now. I started out by buying $30k worth of hay equipment (already owned a tractor for the property) when I didn't have a single hay field. I was able to learn the first year from my ex's family and bale for them and that first year was a very busy year as I had people asking me to bale their fields all around me. A few years after that I got into grapes when I bought my old neighbors farm. There were 3.5 acres of concords there. Once I started buying the equipment to work in the vineyard the drive was on to expand and add more vineyards to help justify better and more dedicated vineyard equipment. I have been having so much fun between haying and working the vineyards I try not to let these little things bother me. I do appreciate having this board to come to though when I look for advice on certain situations like this one. Some times I get so wrapped up in my own little world that I may not notice where I did something wrong so I come on here and if the majority of the members here feel I mis-stepped then I learn from that. If they feel I did nothing wrong then I know my own thoughts were justified :thumbsup:

I've done a very good job of weeding out drama from my life. If I see potential problems then I steer clear of the people. I don't need the stress, haying is stressful enough for me so if I make it through hay season I need the rest of the year to recover:laughing:

 

[Robert_in_NY]

I wonder if you have talked to the widow lady about those people? I don't remember seeing that in any previous posts. (If I missed that I'm sorry). She may know something about their history that could help you. I still believe the wife is running things and she told him not to talk to you. Good luck.

I have not asked her about this particular neighbor but I will bring it up the next time I see her. The estate just accepted the offer on the last two parcels we decided to buy so I will now own right up to her farm (there was a 35 acre parcel between us). I am having that parcel surveyed on three corners (one corner only touches my land so I don't care about it) and even though I don't ever see any problems with the widow I have learned from this situation to just have it done first so that I know and never have to worry about this situation again. Granted, there is always a chance of a boundry dispute when the survey is done but I don't see her being that way and I have no intentions of intruding onto her ground anyway. This parcel borders up to her vineyard anyway so its not like I can do too much without ripping out her grapes. Plus she is easy to talk with so I can discuss my ideas with her if what I am going to do may impact the boundry. But this lady currently has a huge pile of shale and multiple piles of compost and posts stored on this parcel. She has already offered me to use any shale I may need (I won't) but she is working on trying to spread the compost in her vineyard and will take care of the other items as she and the hired help have the time. I'm going to put a loading area there for during harvest so its not a big deal as her piles won't affect my plans any.

I don't know if the wife told the husband to not talk to me, doesn't really matter anyway. I just feel better knowing I didn't do anything wrong in how I approached that situation and that my thoughts on how rude and dangerous an act that was were confirmed by you guys. I'm moving on and see nothing but great things ahead for myself and my daughter

 

[IronHog]

who wants to argue with a guy open carrying.. Now I'm not saying open carrying is like the wild west but are you gonna start shooting grass clippings at a guy thats got a cannon on his hip.. sounds like a real chicken **** man if you ask me.. to coward to talk

We've had several situations through the years where a open carry or concealed sidearm you can "show" have been comforting........


Of course this is Arkansas where a gun is pretty much given to you by the state at birth....... the legal aspect of going armed on one's own property is nill compared to many states.

 

[Robert_in_NY]

We've had several situations through the years where a open carry or concealed sidearm you can "show" have been comforting........


Of course this is Arkansas where a gun is pretty much given to you by the state at birth....... the legal aspect of going armed on one's own property is nill compared to many states.

Yeah, here in NY we still are allowed to carry concealed but if someone accuses you of brandishing a weapon, well your guilty and in the papers on weapons related charges before you even know what happened. Its just not worth the potential problems. I enjoy shooting and if I am alone in the vineyard in an area where I might expect to encounter a coyote or other pest I will carry but if I am going to be around other people then I leave it locked in the safe.

 

[IronHog]

Yeah, here in NY we still are allowed to carry concealed but if someone accuses you of brandishing a weapon, well your guilty and in the papers on weapons related charges before you even know what happened. Its just not worth the potential problems. I enjoy shooting and if I am alone in the vineyard in an area where I might expect to encounter a coyote or other pest I will carry but if I am going to be around other people then I leave it locked in the safe.

Brandishing a weapon on your own land or business?


Basically impossible in Arkansas..... just don't point it at anybody.