Funeral Costs

   / Funeral Costs #51  
When my mom died in 2021 it was about 7K total. They already had the plot.

My family doesn't like to drag things out so we had the funeral at her church, viewing was for the 2 hours prior to the funeral. If someone wanted to stay, that was great or if they wanted to pay respects and leave, that was also cool.
 
   / Funeral Costs #52  
When my mom died in 2021 it was about 7K total. They already had the plot.

My family doesn't like to drag things out so we had the funeral at her church, viewing was for the 2 hours prior to the funeral. If someone wanted to stay, that was great or if they wanted to pay respects and leave, that was also cool.
We did a funeral mass for my mother at church and skipped the whole mortuary funeral service costs. They just got paid for the cremation.
 
   / Funeral Costs #53  
I studied up and wrote a big paper on this end of dying for my MDiv. I was quite shocked along the way.
One of the sources I read compared this business to other commerce, and determined prices basically were about 3 times too high because there were 3 times too many of them, working at 1/3 capacity (think about days the 'homes' are busy, not very often, way below capacity). That author suggested the only way that could work long term was overt or covert collusion.
Another source suggested that most other service aggregators passed savings on to you - decorators, landscapers split source discounts, etc. as part of their service. Yet funeral folks will sell their package services, and still mark up every little thing along the way, such as placing obituary - marking up the paper's fees, typically 10% for that - rather than discounting for bulk.
I also studied the, say fittings used for embalming functions - not my wife. Lots of bits that looked like those big drywall anchors, orbit hooks for smiles, etc. No one enjoyed my paper and powerpoint, but we all learned.
For history (only read a bit), it seems this whole business of embalming and 'looks natural' only came about around the Civil War time, as 'we' got to where there was a fair chance a body could return from a good distance in a chemically managed window - by trains, a method that for the first time on land, did not have to stop and rest.
 
   / Funeral Costs #54  
About 5k for picking up the body, storing pending permit for direct cremation, open/closing the niche, adding a spouse to the urn with engraving, death certificates, etc...

This is current pricing paid yesterday and listed on the last page of a 28 page nicely done brochure as a line item with the grand packages starting at about 40k... of course the cost of burial and family crypts has no limit for those so inclined...

None of the above includes reception costs.

In mom's case she simply wanted to be with Dad and 5k is today's number..

20 years ago us kids did the full funeral with cremation, reception, newspaper paid and unpaid obituary, etc for Dad and it was right about 10k... nothing fancy but well done and I greatly underestimated those attending on a cold stormy December night as mourners filled the church to capacity as Dad knew many people from years in business, athletic accomplishment, civic groups, etc... we did it for mom who was totally unassuming but even 20 years after she derived great comfort from the kids all coming together making it happen...

I do believe it is for the living... after the most basic question is of disposition is answered.

Plenty opting for simple cremation through a non profit with family scattering or keeping ashes... or having county take over...

One thing I was not prepared for today compared to 20+ years ago is the speed at which news travels the world...

I've slept 2 hours in the last 40 as the email and text messages are non stop... as compared to maybe half dozen emails and no text back in 2000.

My grandmother's weekly visit to the departed with fresh flowers from her garden with me as a child in tow is how I grew up and mom carried on the tradition until she was not able. In this respect having a gathering of several generations in one place passes the legacy of family to future generations..
 
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   / Funeral Costs #55  
As a Catholic, I need to make sure to spell out that I cannot be cremated. Probably a good idea to get everything in writing soon.
 
   / Funeral Costs #56  
Catholic Church has allowed cremation since 1963. They do not want the ashes scattered or divided up amongst loved ones, etc., scattered at sea, or kept in an urn in a home. They want the ashes kept together and buried in a cemetery, mausoleum, or other acceptable place of respect.

However, it's always a great idea to make sure someone knows your wishes that correspond to your religious or personal practices. Then hope you outlive them, and that they know where your legal documents are.
 
   / Funeral Costs #57  
Always good to make wishes known...

1963 the Vatican lifted the prohibition on Cremation...

It is not unusual here and local Catholic Diocese priest in charge of of funerals holds a funeral director license...

He has guided many families when asked as spiritual advisor in role of parish priest and prevented/curbed excesses from those providing services.

Also wears several Chaplin Hats as official Navy, Air force and Fire Department...

Mom was quite concerned and her mind was put at ease when given copy of the 1963 decree...
 
   / Funeral Costs #58  
Always good to make wishes known...
1963 the Vatican lifted the prohibition on Cremation...
It is not unusual here and local Catholic Diocese priest in charge of of funerals holds a funeral director license...
He has guided many families when asked as spiritual advisor in role of parish priest and prevented/curbed excesses from those providing services.
Also wears several Chaplin Hats as official Navy, Air force and Fire Department...
Mom was quite concerned and her mind was put at ease when given copy of the 1963 decree...
Vatican 2 church isn't Catholic. I have a hard enough time staying on the narrow path to salvation. I don't need to throw it away by being cremated.
Canon 1240: The following persons are deprived of ecclesiastical burial, unless they have before death given some signs of repentance: ...(5) persons who have given orders for the cremation of their bodies;....
 
   / Funeral Costs #60  
As a Catholic, I need to make sure to spell out that I cannot be cremated. Probably a good idea to get everything in writing soon.
The Catholic church permits cremation and there are many church funerals with cremains. My mother’s cremation urn was given a full Catholic mass. It’s a personal choice.
 
 
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