OP
being a good neighbor--
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Hooked_on_HP
Veteran Member
I have 3 neighbors in their late 60s early 70s. I plow their drives in the winter and if we have a bad storm come through I pick up any big limbs that blow down. I dont do it for money, just the satisfaction of helping a neighbor. The occasional pie or brownies lets me know the favor was appreciated. Its the way I was raised.
Bill
Bill
Chilly807
Elite Member
It's been my experience that most things you do either come back to bite you in the a** or pat you on the back.
A friend of ours gave us 10 acres to build a new house on a few years ago, my wife's known her for 20 odd years. Our horses are at her place til our barn is built next summer.
We do most all the fence and barn maintenance at her place (she's in her 60's), keep the fields mowed, do most of the snow removal, keep things running as best we can.
Money never changes hands, and never will.
Sean
A friend of ours gave us 10 acres to build a new house on a few years ago, my wife's known her for 20 odd years. Our horses are at her place til our barn is built next summer.
We do most all the fence and barn maintenance at her place (she's in her 60's), keep the fields mowed, do most of the snow removal, keep things running as best we can.
Money never changes hands, and never will.
Sean
deere755
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I have an agreement with my neighbor to mow her pasture which is 7 acres twice a year and her road sides a couple of times a year for the use of her barn. She loaned out her garden tractor to a so called friend who tore it up and returned it that way and she also hurt her back and has been unable to work. Now she can't afford to fix her mower or use it if it did run so I have been mowing her yard. I can remember last fall when I was laid up from open heart surgery and my neighbors kept my yard mowed and would not take a penny for doing it. This is my way of giving back to the neighborhood and passing it forward. While I had my tiller on this spring we tilled about 4 or 5 gardens for people for no charge. We also bush hogged a small pasture for a neighbor for free. The only thing that upsets me is I loaned a tractor and tiller to a friend last year for all most 2 weeks and charged him nothing. This year I used a tractor of his for one day of farming and I got a bill for $250.
The only thing that upsets me is I loaned a tractor and tiller to a friend last year for all most 2 weeks and charged him nothing. This year I used a tractor of his for one day of farming and I got a bill for $250.
sounds like he wants to square the account with you, i would deduct the one day at 250 and send him a bill for the 13 days he used your tractor at 250 per day seeing as how he wanted to set the rate for tractor daily usage. yea 3250 ought to make it even.
alex
sounds like he wants to square the account with you, i would deduct the one day at 250 and send him a bill for the 13 days he used your tractor at 250 per day seeing as how he wanted to set the rate for tractor daily usage. yea 3250 ought to make it even.
alex
OP
RadarTech
Elite Member
wow--- $250? some neighbor!!
let us know what happens..
J
let us know what happens..
J
Mousefield
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pitt_md
Veteran Member
I have three neighbors that I can see (with in a 1/2 mile of me) and I help all of them. Now mind you I have not been sick in years so this is just about helping.
One winter day after a big snow i looked across the field to see my neighbor a VERY old lady with her garage door open and looking at 3 feet of snow blocking her exit. I went over with the tractor and knocked on the door. she thought i was trying to sell her something and didn't know who I was even though we had met at least a half dozen times before. She was not all there anymore. She finally let me help her but told me over and over she was NOT GOING TO PAY! I just smiled and said thats fine.
After I got back to my house I wondered if I did the right thing. Probably would have been better to drive her to where ever she had to go than have her on the road.
One winter day after a big snow i looked across the field to see my neighbor a VERY old lady with her garage door open and looking at 3 feet of snow blocking her exit. I went over with the tractor and knocked on the door. she thought i was trying to sell her something and didn't know who I was even though we had met at least a half dozen times before. She was not all there anymore. She finally let me help her but told me over and over she was NOT GOING TO PAY! I just smiled and said thats fine.
After I got back to my house I wondered if I did the right thing. Probably would have been better to drive her to where ever she had to go than have her on the road.
He mentioned he had to drive for 20 minutes to get around a bad neighbor. Maybe I misunderstood.
sweettractors
Advertiser
I had about 1 acre of tobacco out in the field on the stick and the weatherman was calling for 100% chance of rain that night and my help did not show up. (you never want to get tobacco wet after it is cut!) I hated to ask for help from my neighbor I go to Church with, however, I went over and asked what he was into? I guess he could tell I was needing something by the desperate look on my face. He replied, what ever you need me to do. He came and with his help we got the tobacco in the barn before the rain came. He would not accept any pay for his time or his tractor and flatbed wagons use. He just said that everyone needs help sometime. Ken Sweet
OP
RadarTech
Elite Member
um.. I don't know what I was thinking when I first read this...
The bad guy-- he is the neighborhood bully, and tries to run everything...
He told my builder that all the property owners voted and I was not to be allowed a right away across their road... So I never tried to reach out.. In the last few months, alot of the neighbors have reached out to me-- 6 of about 15 or so-- NOTE the back side of the mountain has about 20 homes, 15 or so of them share the private road.
of the ones I have spoken to-- NONE knew of ANY vote and all were rather upset.... and many have called him a BAD guy...
Funny thing is his attidude as only cost him... So be it...
HOWEVER in keeping with the good neighbor theme...
Today a neighbor had a miniex contracted to build a driveway for a new home/cabin they want to build. The have to remove about 50 yards of dirt to get the driveway in... They said I good get 10 yards of so... He thinks he has a place for most of it, and I could have whatever else...
Now it is only 20 feet from the foot of my Driveway, and he would even dump it on a spot on the side of my drive... Cool huh?
It is DARK and rich top soil from years of leaves decaying and all nice and enriched... or so it looks!
J
6011Artist
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All this helping neighbors is good and I feel that is the way it should be. But I also feel lots of people will take advantage of you if you let them.
One neighbor a couple of houses down from me was always standoffish. I tried several times to be friends but he always was nice but never seemed to warm to the idea. He will take all the help your kindness offers but will never volunteer any help to you at all. Friends help each other and don't keep score. But I saw the help was always one sided, even asked him several times for non laboring help and he was always too busy. I eventually stopped visiting or spending any time with him. No problems but weaned off from his company. This spring he made an effort to be friends. I thought he had second thoughts, was ready to act like a good neighbor. He needed a plow reworked, a reese style hitch built for his tractor, another small welding job done. I put all the past behind me, refitted the plow to fit his tractor, built the hitch using my materials and parts, he never offered to do any welding, me thinking he didn't know how. Somewhere along the line he made reference to how they did something when he was doing maintenance before his series of heart attacks. I didn't say anything but thought about me doing his welding. I later learned he owned a small wire welder. He never offered anything as far as pay for the welding, material cost or hardware used. Someone has to buy those rods and gas and steel, not looking for profit, but add to the shop fund to keep it funded if your are taking out of it. A month or so passed and he needed a small welding job done that his wire welder could have done. He brought it over and I set everything up. He was waiting on me to do it when another buddy drove up. I asked him if he could weld it, walking out to talk to the other buddy. He did his welding, walked out, never said thank you or anything. He was mad because he had to do his own welding. Now when he passes he doesn't even wave and won't answer the phone if you call him. A few days before the last welding came up he was in a joking mood and said he "wasn't as dumb as he acted, he acts dumb to get others to do it for him". He was referring to his daughters bf but it sort of stung when he said it. He got his plow rebuilt, his hitch built and then reverted back to being the butt hole he was in the past.
Another neighbor that I still plow her garden for free seems to have a chore for you every time you show any neighborly kindness. When they first moved in next door I did a lot to help them get settled in. I told her and her 45 yr old daughter that it was their luck that I had a period of lots of free time. Now the daughter gets an attitude if she has to do any manual labor thinking the neighbor man should do it for mom. All was cool until the attitude started. She thinks the golden goose should lay an egg every time work looks her in the face. I still do some things I feel is too much for them but daughters attitude sure put a halt to a lot of the free giving. Mom is old and a real nice lady but she allows the daughter to run the show and the daughter sure could use a lesson or two in friendliness and social skills. Other neighbors have the same comment about her.
So, I still feel neighbors need to help each other, I actually enjoy helping out others and especially the elderly. But there is a line between helping out and allowing others to use you. It's a shame that 10% puts a damper on things but the other 90% does appreciate it and makes you feel good to do it.
One neighbor a couple of houses down from me was always standoffish. I tried several times to be friends but he always was nice but never seemed to warm to the idea. He will take all the help your kindness offers but will never volunteer any help to you at all. Friends help each other and don't keep score. But I saw the help was always one sided, even asked him several times for non laboring help and he was always too busy. I eventually stopped visiting or spending any time with him. No problems but weaned off from his company. This spring he made an effort to be friends. I thought he had second thoughts, was ready to act like a good neighbor. He needed a plow reworked, a reese style hitch built for his tractor, another small welding job done. I put all the past behind me, refitted the plow to fit his tractor, built the hitch using my materials and parts, he never offered to do any welding, me thinking he didn't know how. Somewhere along the line he made reference to how they did something when he was doing maintenance before his series of heart attacks. I didn't say anything but thought about me doing his welding. I later learned he owned a small wire welder. He never offered anything as far as pay for the welding, material cost or hardware used. Someone has to buy those rods and gas and steel, not looking for profit, but add to the shop fund to keep it funded if your are taking out of it. A month or so passed and he needed a small welding job done that his wire welder could have done. He brought it over and I set everything up. He was waiting on me to do it when another buddy drove up. I asked him if he could weld it, walking out to talk to the other buddy. He did his welding, walked out, never said thank you or anything. He was mad because he had to do his own welding. Now when he passes he doesn't even wave and won't answer the phone if you call him. A few days before the last welding came up he was in a joking mood and said he "wasn't as dumb as he acted, he acts dumb to get others to do it for him". He was referring to his daughters bf but it sort of stung when he said it. He got his plow rebuilt, his hitch built and then reverted back to being the butt hole he was in the past.
Another neighbor that I still plow her garden for free seems to have a chore for you every time you show any neighborly kindness. When they first moved in next door I did a lot to help them get settled in. I told her and her 45 yr old daughter that it was their luck that I had a period of lots of free time. Now the daughter gets an attitude if she has to do any manual labor thinking the neighbor man should do it for mom. All was cool until the attitude started. She thinks the golden goose should lay an egg every time work looks her in the face. I still do some things I feel is too much for them but daughters attitude sure put a halt to a lot of the free giving. Mom is old and a real nice lady but she allows the daughter to run the show and the daughter sure could use a lesson or two in friendliness and social skills. Other neighbors have the same comment about her.
So, I still feel neighbors need to help each other, I actually enjoy helping out others and especially the elderly. But there is a line between helping out and allowing others to use you. It's a shame that 10% puts a damper on things but the other 90% does appreciate it and makes you feel good to do it.
brin
Super Member
You are right...I had a neighbor like that once....I helped him all the time and then when I needed to borrow a tool he would charge me for using it...that happened twice and I stopped helping him and that's been 10 yrs. ago...that kind of person is a leech and you just have to leave them alone.
TripleR
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I guess in the end, you have to decide why you are helping someone. If it is truly altruistic, then how they treat you or whether they appreciate it or not is unimportant. If on the other hand it is an informal barter system then it is.
OP
RadarTech
Elite Member
VERY good point... Sometimes helping even those that are obnoxius can be rewarding... and sometimes that can just be a pain...
J
J
brin
Super Member
The neighbor I was helping and loaning things to and helping him because I had an FEL and he did not was not elderly or disabled and when I borrowed a tool or implement, about a week after I returned it he sent me a bill....and invoice for tool rental...He never told me up front that was the deal..So I paid it and stopped helping him after that..Yes he asked and I said no - I don't charge folks like you do.... and that was that.
TripleR
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Brin, you are a nicer guy than I am. I would not have paid him. There was no legal contract or understanding of payment for services rendered.
Chilly807
Elite Member
It's not 100% all the time, but my general policy is that I don't mind helping somebody out, but they have to be willing to help themselves.
Snowplowing someone's driveway is fine, but they can sweep their own doorstep off, if they're able.
Our friend is a good example. She lost her husband last year, so we've picked up the things he used to do, and so has she. I cut and split her wood for her for example, but she gets mad if I don't tell her when we're splitting so she can help stack it. We've had some fine meals there over the years, not to mention shelter for our horses, or free property to build our house on.
I enjoy helping people out, but I have to have time to get my own chores done too. A lot of times the people we're helping are retired, elderly folks that may have forgotten what it's like to work for a living. Weekends and evenings are short, and the demands on my time have to be carefully managed (by me, ideally !)
Unless it's something critical, my work gets done first.
Sean
Snowplowing someone's driveway is fine, but they can sweep their own doorstep off, if they're able.
Our friend is a good example. She lost her husband last year, so we've picked up the things he used to do, and so has she. I cut and split her wood for her for example, but she gets mad if I don't tell her when we're splitting so she can help stack it. We've had some fine meals there over the years, not to mention shelter for our horses, or free property to build our house on.
I enjoy helping people out, but I have to have time to get my own chores done too. A lot of times the people we're helping are retired, elderly folks that may have forgotten what it's like to work for a living. Weekends and evenings are short, and the demands on my time have to be carefully managed (by me, ideally !)
Unless it's something critical, my work gets done first.
Sean
