You Know You Are Old When

[Jstpssng]

If the first time I presented to a doctor with a self-inflicted injury they said, "I can give you a reprieve for now but this is going to come back when you're old ... I'd have lived a different life. My parts of pain are like a road map of my dumbass life.

Ah, but think of the memories you'd be missing!

 

[airbiscuit]

Last year, at home, in the bed of the pick up truck without thinking, I just jumped off the tailgate onto the cement driveway.

When I hit the cement, I knew I was in trouble. I'm just glad I remembered how to tuck and roll the instant I hit the ground with my feet because I wasn't landing like I expected LOL

I'm there laying on the cement laying on my back looking up at the sky just taking a moment realizing how stupid I was hoping my wife wasn't coming out the door seeing my laying there. Pretty proud of the roll though and still remembered it LOL

A couple of years ago, I helped my friend unload a load of 1 1/2" rock. I knew not to jump off the bed, so I tried to step off his bumper. Somehow, my foot got caught in the cable holding the tailgate, and I fell flat on my back. I'm laying with my shoulder on the ground and my leg still caught in that cable. My friend and bystanders just stood there - frozen with mouths agape. It was a hard fall, and I think they thought I broke a leg/shoulder or back.

I extricated my foot, and I was unsurprisingly unsore, except my bicep. The only thing I can think happened was that on the way down, I grabbed that cable and held on like crazy. That slowed the descent of my ample weight enough to prevent injury, except for my stretched out bicep. It took weeks for that pain to subside - but I was lucky to get by with that.

 

[Dan Hunter]

Ah, but think of the memories you'd be missing!

I'm old; I'm always trying to think of the memories I'm missing. As a child, I once asked my grandmother what she does all day. She watched wrestling (believing it was real), soap operas, and reflected on her memories. I'm still waiting for that...the memory part. Most of my memories are unpleasant. The wages of sin, I guess.

I'm uncomfortable with modern greetings. I prefer a simple "hello". I remember in 1977 the first time someone offered the common current greeting of "how are you doing". My heart swelled with joy. Someone cared. These days if you ask how I'm doing you get a full rundown of my ailments. Better hope my butt doesn't itch at the moment.

 

[rontaki]

A proper greeting upon seeing me, is "Are you still doing!?"

 

[scootr]

I won't forget that lesson soon.

Oh, sure you will. We're old; we forget stuff...quickly.

Noooo. I take my CO-Q10 so I can remember those lessons and why I opened this tab...

 

[scootr]

I'm old; I'm always trying to think of the memories I'm missing. As a child, I once asked my grandmother what she does all day. She watched wrestling (believing it was real), soap operas, and reflected on her memories. I'm still waiting for that...the memory part. Most of my memories are unpleasant. The wages of sin, I guess.

I'm uncomfortable with modern greetings. I prefer a simple "hello". I remember in 1977 the first time someone offered the common current greeting of "how are you doing". My heart swelled with joy. Someone cared. These days if you ask how I'm doing you get a full rundown of my ailments. Better hope my butt doesn't itch at the moment.

I'd be happy if some one responded with I'm old, tired, and my butt itches....now we have something to talk about. Instead of fine and you.

 

[NoTrespassing]

Slipped on ice at the gas station this morning and landed flat on my back. I'm starting to feel it this afternoon. The worst part is, I saw it when I got out of the car but forgot it was there by the time I was done pumping the gas!

 

[WinterDeere]

Honestly... if you can't still do the same things at 46 that you could at 19, you'd better just shoot yourself, now. It's not going to get better, and you've still a long ways to go.

<-- learned to snowboard around age 46

 

[not2old]

Honestly... if you can't still do the same things at 46 that you could at 19, you'd better just shoot yourself, now. It's not going to get better, and you've still a long ways to go.

<-- learned to snowboard around age 46

Learned how to snowmobile at 62. Now at 77 I've already lost some of the few skills I learned.

 

[John0829]

I remember in 1977 the first time someone offered the common current greeting of "how are you doing".

My reply is "I know you don't really care so why ask?"

 

[scootr]

My reply is "I know you don't really care so why ask?"

It's a common courtesy which I see you have no taste for.

 

[Dan Hunter]

I was facing another neck surgery to complete the fusion of c4 through t1 (which now is starting to seem insufficient) and a guy in the hall at work says, "How are you?" My answer was that I was in indescribable pain, that at times I have to stop instructing and collect myself and though I'm not excited about my pending surgery, I'm ready for it to end - one way or another.

He laughed and walked away.

Offer a proper greeting of go away.

 

[garry1p]

Ask me "How you doing" I'm going to say "How much time do you have".

 

[Jstpssng]

It's a civil greeting, treat it as such. Unless it's your brother who wants to know how your heart condition is doing, a simole reply will do.

 

[bigtiller]

I once greeted an old high school friend I hadn't seen for years with...

"Chuck, you're still alive! I thought I read your obituary in the paper last year."

Must have been his doppelganger I read about.

 

[WinterDeere]

I remember in 1977 the first time someone offered the common current greeting of "how are you doing". My heart swelled with joy. Someone cared.

Being a Philly-area native, this is the greeting with which I grew up... except there's no "g" on the end of "doin".

But then working with Germans in my 20's, I had to force myself out of the habit of asking, as every last one of them will stop and tell you at great length exactly how they are doing. You could quickly lose half a morning just saying hello to your office mates, with that greeting.

 

[NoTrespassing]

I'm slightly bothered when I offer a "thank you" for a service rendered and the reply is "no problem".

 

[Engineer42]

I'm slightly bothered when I offer a "thank you" for a service rendered and the reply is "no problem".

You're not alone my friend. Or, you ask for something and get "I got you".

Arrrggh!

 

[masscity]

In my forties, if they asked me how I was doing, I would say terrible how are you doing. They would answer fine thanks.

I would try it to see if they are paying attention or get a rise out of them.

 

[WinterDeere]

I'm slightly bothered when I offer a "thank you" for a service rendered and the reply is "no problem".

?? why? That's a pretty standard reply, here.

Heck, the Spanish even formalized it. "de nada" = "it's nothing", from every english to spanish dictionary and text book on earth.

The last few pages read like a whole bunch of tedious people who waste too much energy getting annoyed with things that don't really matter, here.