Assistance with tuition

[USAFpj]

Great post, Moss! Thankfully, a good many of your recommendations have already been implemented.

We did notice in the beginning of talk about higher education, that she was chasing wherever her friends were going, which is a 'cooler' school, which school had the best volleyball uniforms, etc... My question was "Woman, what do you want to do with this education". We initially were putting the cart before the horse.

But they are smarter and more mature kids than what I was at their age. That, TBN help, and with the Lord's guidance, we'll make solid decisions.

 

[MossRoad]

My daughter was straight A's from grade school through high school. National honor society, graduated with honors, the whole shebang. When it came time to start college, the only full scholarships she could get were for either being a teacher (you then had to agree to move to a small town or reservation and teach there for X years), or a nurse. Nothing else. Neither of those options were what she wanted to do, so she got diddly squat. A lifetime student history of excellent grades, and can't get a full scholarship. She got a partial scholarship her first year, (I think it was less than 10%), but that was it.......

I hear you. Our first child finished high school with a 4.1 GPA, high honors, etc... ranked 22nd in the class. Got $6K in scholarships from the college. 2nd child finished with a 4.29 GPA, high honors, 7th in the class. Was involved in more sports, activities, field related employment, etc... should have gotten at least the same in scholarships, but got nothing from the same school! The difference? While they both went to the same school, they attended different colleges at that school. One was in liberal arts, the other biology. There's different levels of funding, scholarships, etc... based on a whole bunch of factors. Kids don't see that, and sometimes parents don't see that as well, and get highly disappointed even though the kid worked their arse off in high school. Youngest kid was extremely lucky in that they applied for scholarships through other sources and made an impression upon a very generous donor that granted the kid a 4 year renewing scholarship of $5K with the stipulation of maintaining a 3.75 GPA each year. Basically, a stranger gave my kid $20K based on the kid's high school record, work history, and a well written letter expressing desire and goals. Believe me, we have thanked that man each year as he renewed that scholarship.

Look in other places for scholarships. Ethnic background (each kid got $500 because the kids are Polish!). County 4H program gave each of them $500 for 10 year participation. Religious organizations. Local chapters of university booster clubs. Your employer.

Heck, some kids skip college, go to tech school, and land a job with a company that will pay for their bachelor's degree. Lots of things out there, but you still can't beat early planning and a 529 college savings plan or ROTH IRA started as soon as the kid is born.

In Indiana, contributions to 529 are tax exempt, compound interest is tax exempt, and you get a sizable tax credit too. ROTH IRA isn't tax exempt on the contributions, but you can take them out for college and other things, should the kid not go to college, like a house for mom and dad. Both have their advantages, so look at both. I realize that it won't help with near adult kids, but for those that haven't started it yet with young ones, get to it now!.

 

[MossRoad]

.....And lastly FAFSA is a joke

...

Yeah, FAFSA did nothing for us but confirm that we make just enough too much to get any assistance.

However, let's say you or a spouse lost a job, or don't make that much money, or are laid up and can't work, or are a stay at home parent, etc.... and you do qualify for assistance, well, then, take advantage of it.

It can be discouraging to see people getting a free ride (from our viewpoint at least). Many are. But some actually need it.

My wife's very good friend from high school got married to a great guy. They both worked average wage jobs just like me and my wife. Had two kids, then a 3rd 10 years later. Husband got cancer. He still worked when he could, but eventually, he had to go on full disability. So wife works full time, husband sits at home on computer full-time looking for grants, scholarships, etc... for youngest kid to go to college. He made it his full-time job. Kid gets social security because dad is disabled, and found free ride to a good school through all of the dozens of small things disabled dad found on-line. FAFSA was indeed needed and worked for them. Guy earned it. He's about dead now, but got the kid's education taken care of.

 

[NorTracNY]

I think everyone is painting a very good and accurate picture here. There are so many variables to kids and college.

My parents covered my first 4 years and my post grad work actually was a free ride with stipend. Going into the right field is HUGE! I plan to cover my kids first 4 years, just as my parents did for me. As others have pointed out though, the cost of college has increase well ahead of inflation for at least the last 25 years! That means my retirement is heavily dependent on my kids education. Of course there are big BUTS here. My wife and I both agree that college is not for everyone and hate people that imply otherwise. Some people REALLY need the military to kick their immaturity out of them. Some people should go into trades. No one should go to college for underwater basket weaving. We will only cover the 4 years for our kids if they are mature enough to know what they want to do and the investment of college makes sense. I will not pay 4 years of a private college for one of my kids to get a degree in history. I love history, but it's not a degree to spend $200K for.

Also, if cost is an issue and you have a good hard working kid, start looking for scholarships. There are thousands of them, but you have to search for them and apply. BUT be aware that some college aid packages will actually drop their financial aid if they find you are getting additional scholarships.

 

[Gem99ultra]

I agree with offering "some" help to your children get through college, IF you can afford it. I won't use my particular case as a model. After HS, knocked around while working full time, but never liked school - period. Uncle Sam caught up with me for a vacation during VN War. Afterwards I discovered that good money was only to be had with that college degree. So I worked full time, family w/2 kids, and went to college at night. Sure - that took 8 years of nights, but I eventually got there.

When it came to the kids, I had saved up $40K each for them to go to college for 4 years (that was in the late '90s). Handed them the full amount, told them that was all there was, and they had to make up the difference with P/T work. Both did; much pain and a lot of serious studying. No summer vacations, school year 'round. Both graduated with 3.85 GPA. One's a teacher and the other a police officer.

Difficult? Yes. Beneficial in preparing for life? You bet!

 

[JPRambo]

My younger son works at the local college for the tuition department. There is a grant for everyone. Some pay a little some pay a good bit. They sometimes can be combined. My DIL got one because she was the only one in her family to go to college in 3 generations. Many reasons for tuition assistance exist. Ask many questions at the college to get the answers. The usually don't give the answers that are not asked for.

 

[hawkeye08]

My experience and that of my kids is the same, students that have some financial responsibility take college more serious. We offered room and board, plus vehicle including maintenance and insurance if our kids lived at home. Once they moved out, all that was on them. We also paid for books and fees, left tuition up to them. The middle daughter was the most successful, she got a faculty scholarship for tuition (totally unexpected, not something you can get ahead of time).. she also got a job as resident firefighter/emt at the fire station on edge of campus.

 

[Diggin It]

I hated school. Despised every minute of it. Didn't apply myself because I didn't want to be there. Squeaked by every class, but got my fancy paper. Swore I'd never go back and never did. Then I went ... to work. Found jobs that paid the bills. Got a few credit hours in Electronics from the CCAF (if you know what that is). Not enough for a degree. I was in just long enough to get a few perks including a mortgage loan guarantee. Bought my first house at about age 20. Never missed a payment. From there on, the only classes I went to were employer paid for; one sort of training or another.

Somehow, I got by without going tens of thousands into debt for another fancy paper. I never did well, but I never starved either.

I'd promote trade schools over near anything else these days, but even those have gotten expensive.

 

[4570Man]

The education system sucks now days. High school is nothing but a college and test preparation with little taught on useful life skills. College is promoted as the only path. Sure some people belong in college but a lot of them could do better elsewhere. A high percentage of college degrees lead to dead ends or low paying jobs.

 

[Oaktree]

I hear you. Our first child finished high school with a 4.1 GPA, high honors, etc... ranked 22nd in the class. Got $6K in scholarships from the college. 2nd child finished with a 4.29 GPA

When I was in school a 4.0 was as high as you could get...straight A's. What changed?

 

[RUSTBUCKET BRONCO]

I told my kids i would help them out on the first semester. From there I would base the help on the grades they earned. 3.5-4 I'd pay all tuition. 3.0-3.49 I'd pay half. 2.5-2.99 a quarter. if they got below a a 2.5 they are on their own. Worked good for my daughter shes graduating from nursing school in July. My son lasted 2 years of community college and bailed for the Navy now doing avionics on seahawks helos. They all had the ability to stay home for free but none took me up on it.

 

[Streetcar]

Above 4.0 is from taking advanced classes in ohio

 

[1010]

If they make the grades do what you can.. My son is starting his 3rd year this fall at Ole Miss. It's hard enough in this world even with a degree..
Me and my wife have always put our kids first as long as they did their part also. I didn't care where they went either just go somewhere..

I told mine I'd get them through school as long as they made the grades and stayed clean of the BS that plague big schools..
I wasn't paying for them to become educated drugheads or drinkers.. They know they are on a very short chain..

Consider yourself lucky when you're kid even want's above 12 years of school.

 

[tractorshopper]

My oldest daughter is a rising Junior in College, my youngest graduates HS this weekend. For SC, the highest academic scholarship from the state is Palmetto Fellows. Both kids worked very hard and earned it.

One is going to USCB, the other is planning to attend CofC this fall. After year one, if in STEM, you also receive the Palmetto Enhancement. We also had them apply for many other scholarships and they won some of them each. My oldest is playing ball in college which also gives a little help.

Wife and I both paid our own loans, but we chip in each semester and kids still have some small loan projected each year for remainder of room and board. In my experience room and board costs the same as tuition basically. If they lived at home, they'd be going about free. We will pay the remainder of their small loans at the end of their undergrads, but med school is completely on them. I bought them each a brand new car at graduation to get them through the 8 years they plan to be in school. I feel like that is more than enough. We helped to this degree because we can and also because we feel like they worked very hard to earn the top scholarship level, so it's our reward to them.

Oldest is carrying a 4.0 through 2 years now. They both value the academics.

 

[buckeyefarmer]

I filled out FAFSA once......

I paid my way thru college, but got lots of help since my family was dirt poor growing up.

My oldest son just graduated in computer engineering from an out of state, private university that was on par cost wise with in state. Small school, good curriculum, professors that really care about you. I would say the classes were tougher than my undergrad classes. He just got a job with a great starting salary. He will pay me back partially.
I paid his way, and have another son 1/2 way thru.

 

[fishheadbob]

I paid for both my kids; maybe 60k for my son to get a Liberal Arts degree at a big state school 20 years ago; my daughter went out of state private graduating maybe 15 years ago, had to run well over 150k; also with a Liberal Arts degree. Her overall costs are nothing I ever want to add up. Later her company paid for most of her M.B.A. . Both kids do very well making well into 6 figures.
I knew my wife and I were going to get great N.Y. and Federal pensions when the time came so I wasn't terribly worried about my old age. Yeah, I spent what would have been my winter home in Florida or somewhere on them, but I still have enough to vacation when we feel like it. I looked at it as my legacy. I never thought of it as my money, it was an inheritance from my father, the first one in his family to speak English, let alone go to college. While he never said it outright I always knew my kids wouldn't come out of school heavily in debt because of my father.
If we still had the money we spent on their tuition it would be worth a great deal more now but so are our kids. If we still had the money we still wouldn't live large, not in our nature. We both retired from our good jobs at 55 and went on to various part time things. She retired from her last job (Professor) 2 year ago at 70 and now grandmothers heavily; I still do a specialty crop on a seasonal basis.
My grandchildren will someday remember us as those cool old coots who paid their tuitions .

 

[dougtrr2]

Doug- were you ever upset in the slightest that your parents didn't or couldn't help out?

No. There were five of us children and we were raised knowing that if we wanted college we would have to be responsible. We were not poor, but there wasn't much money for frills. At the time I graduated high school I knew that I didn't want to go to college at that time so I joined the Air Force. Twenty years later I never regretted that choice. I got my degree and commission while I was active duty.

Doug in SW IA

 

[oosik]

I worked in Alaska - summers - to help pay for my BS degree. My parents helped also. It was about 50/50. As I remember, a year of tuition at the University of WA was around $1400 per year. After the first year of living in the dorms( a requirement) - six of us guys leased a house boat on Lk WA. It cost us $30 per month each. Rather unique - I rowed across Lk WA to my classes at U of W. This was 1960-1965.

My MS degree was paid for thru an agreement with the government in Anchorage. I got my degree - I had to work X# of years beyond getting my degree.

Let me tell you - having a full time job - a family and then going to night school can be a real PITA. VERY glad when the college work was all done

Now my son - we helped pay for his degrees(s). All three of them. He decided he wanted to go to MIT for his masters. My wife & I both agreed - "that's just fine son - you are on your own in this regard".

 

[MossRoad]

Just a note. When my dad went to Notre Dame 80 something years ago, it was $600 per year. It's $69,000 per year today.....

 

[ultrarunner]

Lots of possibilities...

Some districts offer free community college like San Francisco...

Like most... my brothers and I worked and paid our way through school... it seemed a lot were doing the same in the 80's unless they had family money. The folks made the same offer... stay at home as a full time student... I took them up... my brother moved out the day after high school and the other when his friends were desperate to replace a roommate that dropped out of college... an offer too good to pass...

My niece just did the signing for her full college scholarship... she had several offers and was flown down to two schools... the one she really wanted got caught up in the Scholarship Scandal so they would not commit while the two in hand came with expiration dates...

Several of our RN's left home right out of High School and went the military route... they are mid 20's and doing very well... their service made it possible to realize their dream.

The local High School had 500,000 in local scholarship money which I found really amazing... everything from Rotary, Kiwanis to the Portuguese American Society and several of the Hospitals for nursing majors...

The problem with Athletic Scholarship is if you are injured the money goes away... happened to a friend but she got two full years which was quite a benefit before being injured...