Well they're a McCain product... the 'things' are the size of one of those "Pop Tarts". Horrible! The remaining two in the package are going in the bin. Crickey, the taste memory is still with me. I've re-checked the toaster to ensure that there's no residue to taint future English Muffins or toast.
My English mother's way of doing toast in the old 2 slice beasts, (chrome plated boat anchors), was to turn it to DARK, then wait for the fire trucks! Then proceed to scrape the burnt cold 'toast' from a black shade of color to something looking like what might be scrapped off any sane person's shoe!
My favorite tale of her kitchen machinations was when my wife and I gave her brief instructions on how to use the microwave, and we came home after a movie and dinner out to a horrible smell of burnt something in the kitchen. She had decided to cook a potato in the micro. Needless to say, after 45 minutes straight on high power #10 it was DONE!
The microwave was relieved of potato duty and she was relieved from ever using it without supervision. That smell can still be conjured by telling the story. Good 'ole mum. 'Dem were 'de days....
There was no alternative preparation instructions on the package. Oh, well, I've lived to tell the tale; and that's saying something after a Naval career that's taken me to some very interesting foreign ports with resulting (post bar-hopping) "street food" adventures.
Example: A skewer of "Chicken Of The Sea" turned out to be
seagull.