College drop out blues

[dooleysm]

I have always felt that I learned more outside of my college classes than I did in them. Learning to live on your own without your parents or teachers setting rules and boundaries is a big part of becoming a successful adult. I have a couple cousins that lived at home while going to a local college. I feel like they missed out on an awful lot. I've remained close friends with many of my college roomates, friends, and fraternity brothers (I graduated 10 years ago) and haven't had any contact with anyone from my high school in probably 12 years.

 

[pennwalk]

Well I don't know this for sure but I suspect that there was a little too much partying and a little too little studying. I can't quite figure out why teenagers think they know it all and then act like such idiots. Sometimes you just have to shut up and do the work. I know another young guy who dropped out this year. I sometimes think they need something like boot camp and then a couple of years of good hard work before they start college. Maybe some kind of national service. I know I didn't get as much out of college as I should have. When I take classes now I do so much better. It's easy.

Chris

 

[riptides]

I think it is great that he has a fall back option and has support coming back home.

Hope he appreciates it in his later years.

 

[Uncle Doug]

I to was a college dropout right after HS. Bounced around in the construction industry for a few years learning a trade. Started going to night classes at a Jr College about 5 years later. Never got a degree but polished my trade skills some more and added some college hours to my resume. Took 15 years but I did land a good job at a major chemical company. Not in the trade I had worked in the past 15 years. In the interview they stated that they wanted someone willing to learn as they would teach me everything I would need to know. That was 21 years ago (35 from HS). I plan on an early retirement at age 55 if all goes well the next 2 years. I guess I have done ok for a college dropout.

Some things just take time. Some really thrive in the college enviroment while others go overboard on the party life. Many return home looking for something else. Encourgement and support goes a long way in helping someone find their way in life.

 

[SCDolphin]

I was a good student in HS went to Vietnam and apparently got lost when I came back.....got kicked out, flunked out and had the all time lowest gpa ever recorded at the University of Maryland. After 12 years of patching up all the damage I did, I got into Med School some 31 years ago. The point is if you want something bad enough, you can do anything if you are willing to knuckle down!
That's my story

 

[MossRoad]

flunked out and had the all time lowest gpa ever recorded at the University of Maryland.

Hee, hee. That reminded me of my last semester at I.U. I got an A in a chem lab, I flunked the chem lecture because I did not like the teacher and I got a C- in an English lit class taught by a woman that hated men ( all males got Cs no matter what). If you flunk a chem lecture, they give you an incomplete in the lab even if you ace it. Soooo, my GPA for that semester came in at 0.79.

The chem teacher took me to his office and asked what was going on in my life. I told him school, girlfriend, three jobs and beer. He said I had too much going on and was going to have to quit something... so I picked school. Anyhow, as I mentioned before, I quit college and switched to technical school. I got great grades and it suited me much better.

One thing weird though, is I had this habit in college of doing poorly in classes if I disliked the teacher and getting A's if I liked them. It didn't occur to me that I was paying for this out of my pocket and messing up my own life. Very strange to not see the big picture. I attribute it to bull headedness and immaturity. Over the last 25 years I occasionally go back to college for refresher courses ever few years and always get A+ grades. I can now see the kids that are there to learn VS the kids that are there because their folks made them go. I tend to steer clear of the latter group as they are disruptive to those that want to learn. Sometimes I even step up and tell them to shut the heck up so the rest of us can learn. Amazing what the years have taught me.

 

[wjoerob]

I've been a teacher at a community college for a few years now. It's really interesting to see the so-called "failures" trying to recover from their first bad year or semester at a big college. Much less expensive choice for student or parents if they have any question whether the kid will succeed in college. But I can say, not all of them will make it at community college either. It's a question of whether that reality has hit them yet: "Hey, I need to grow up now! I have the rest of my life ahead of me! (Or a pile of bills)". For some, it's the reality of having a little one or family to take care of. Some probably do need the military to get the same kick in the pants. But I have to agree, what the mom does or doesn't do for him will make a big difference.

 

[jayste]

We recently found out that our nephew dropped out of college. Can you imagine a worse time to be out on the street? Of course he moved back with his mom. We were kind of stunned can you imagine having to move home? We have always thought it was healthier for kids to strike out on their own. I think his mom is glad to have him back. I'm sure she will be cooking for him, letting him use the car, washing his laundry. My first thought was that he should join the Army. But my wife says his mom will never let him. So my question is do you guys have any thoughts for a young guy who needs a little time to grow up?

Chris

If his Mother is willing it might be a good thing for you to step in with some male advice if that isn't being introduced at the time. I've gotten the idea that a male figure isn't around....?

 

[Sigarms]

We recently found out that our nephew dropped out of college. Can you imagine a worse time to be out on the street? Of course he moved back with his mom. We were kind of stunned can you imagine having to move home? We have always thought it was healthier for kids to strike out on their own. I think his mom is glad to have him back. I'm sure she will be cooking for him, letting him use the car, washing his laundry. My first thought was that he should join the Army. But my wife says his mom will never let him. So my question is do you guys have any thoughts for a young guy who needs a little time to grow up?

Chris

By chance if your question is for your nephew, I'd suggest staying out of your sisters/brothers/in laws "business" unless they ask you directly for advice.

For your own children, IMO the military is never a bad option, just as long as that's what the person enlisting wants to do.

 

[Western]

By chance if your question is for your nephew, I'd suggest staying out of your sisters/brothers/in laws "business" unless they ask you directly for advice.

For your own children, IMO the military is never a bad option, just as long as that's what the person enlisting wants to do.

X'2 Good advice

 

[MossRoad]

For your own children, IMO the military is never a bad option, just as long as that's what the person enlisting wants to do.

And that is most likely the problem... the kid does not yet know what he wants to do.

Enlisting in the military because you do not know what you want to do is just as mistaken as going to college because you think you should stay in school but have no idea what you want to do. A young person should not make such huge life altering decisions based on not knowing what they want to do.

 

[mjarrels]

Now days... even the Military is tough to join!

mark

 

[pennwalk]

It's a pretty sad story. I talked to his older brother yesterday. He thinks his brother intends to hang out at home and eat , sleep and party for a while. Apparently he can reapply to school in the fall. His dad died when he was little and we knew it would be hard for these kids but this is looking bad.

Chris

 

[MossRoad]

It's a pretty sad story. I talked to his older brother yesterday. He thinks his brother intends to hang out at home and eat , sleep and party for a while. Apparently he can reapply to school in the fall. His dad died when he was little and we knew it would be hard for these kids but this is looking bad.

Chris

Yeah. Mom needs to tell him he can eat, sleep and party on the weekends like the rest of us. He needs to get a job and pay rent to his mom until he goes back to school. Mom can either use it to pay for his food or save it for him and help him pay for his college as he goes.

After my wife graduated from college she got a job and lived with her folks for a few years while waiting for me to finish school so we could get married. Her folks charged her rent. It was minimal, but rent none the less. She had responsibilities and met them. They had a deal to pay off half her student loans and she would pay the other half. They used her rent money to help pay the loans down. That was very generous of them.

 

[Ridgewalker]

For what it's worth;

My 18 year old son is going to a jr. college full time, works 30 + hours a week, buys his own food, textbooks and gas.

As long as he is in school he understands we will cover auto insurance and help with tuition. If he drops out he will have to pay rent and cover his insurance.

Giving a kid a free ride isn't the best thing for them, things that come too easy don't have as much value as things you worked to get.

 

[MossRoad]

For what it's worth;

My 18 year old son is going to a jr. college full time, works 30 + hours a week, buys his own food, textbooks and gas.

As long as he is in school he understands we will cover auto insurance and help with tuition. If he drops out he will have to pay rent and cover his insurance.

Giving a kid a free ride isn't the best thing for them, things that come too easy don't have as much value as things you worked to get.

That is a great thing you are doing with him. I say "with" because it is a joint venture. He'll appreciate it so much more later in his life.

 

[2manyrocks]

I remember a guy in college who worked at the local Pepsi bottler to put himself through college. He ended up running the thing, expanded the territory, merged with a bottler in an adjoining territory and did very, very, very well. I know another lady who was a single mom with a baby. She didn't have a baby sitter and took the baby to class, and got a warning from her professor that if the baby made a peep........he didn't. She got her degree and now has a good career. I have the highest respect for the students who are working their way through school.

 

[quackaddict]

Now days... even the Military is tough to join!

Obviously you haven't seen some of the folks in the Army lately. I'm pretty sure you just need a pulse and to over 18. God bless the military, is all I've got to say on that note.

 

[WH401]

Obviously you haven't seen some of the folks in the Army lately. I'm pretty sure you just need a pulse and to over 18. God bless the military, is all I've got to say on that note.

Actually, because of the state of the economy now, the army is able to pick and choose who they feel will be the best soldiers. Just a few years ago they were having to accept people who, for example, didn't have GED's, (they would put them through a quick course first to obtain it), or people who weren't initially physically fit. Now with the economy in the tank, and more people out of work, the military has seen a large increase in the number of enlistee's. So much so that now they're able choose the, "cream of the crop," so they say, as far as soldiers go.

Either way though, we wouldn't be having this discussion right now if it weren't for the military. They're all better men and women than me.