COMPLETELY LOST!! 2010 doesn't look good

[Ezlivn]

Oh Oh... there are women on this site. lololol

 

[dave1949]

Oh Oh... there are women on this site. lololol

I was just waiting for you to get caught lol.
Dave.

 

[Matt_Jr]

I was was waiting for that.

 

[Matt_Jr]

Dude...that was wild!!!

What did you mean?

 

[Matt_Jr]

Hey Rutwad, how's it goin' man?

 

[GPintheMitten]

Here's something to cheer you up, my friend.


Larry the Cable Guy says:

1. A day without sunshine is like night.

2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.

9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture most people have.

10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.

14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?

15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?

20. Why do psychics have to ask you your name?

21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, 'What the heck happened?'

22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.

23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

 

[rutwad]

I must say again that I am completely OVERWHELMED by the responses, advice, and support given here. Many, Many THANKS to all. I look forward to reading through the posts every night.

I am suprisingly feeling better. Sometimes I quickly turn sad over just a simple thought or memory, but I quickly change my thoughts.

My sister just called to say she was there for me. Whether her or someone else, she said I definitely need to get it off my chest and not keep it all inside. Well, this thread serves as my way of talking. I am so glad I posted my problem because I never realized how much it would help. I can say Thank You all day to each and every one of you, yet you still may not understand how much I really appreciate you guys.

What's the saying, what doesn't break us will make us stronger? Hopefully I will come through better than ever. Whether she left because of something missing here or because of something she may have found elsewhere, I can still look to myself and see where I could have been better. I've decided not to blame myself, just realize how I can better myself.

No matter how mad, sad, or upset I get, she is a good woman and wife.

'Til Tomorrow.....

 

[Ezlivn]

What did you mean?

I meant..."heavy", "meaningful", all those mushy words i was trying to avoid and you just forced out of me.

 

[Matt_Jr]

I meant..."heavy", "meaningful", all those mushy words i was trying to avoid and you just forced out of me.

I see.


Rutwad, glad to hear you're doin' ok. And you're right about the getting stronger.

 

[Eagleview]

I'm sorry to hear of your loss rutwad , do not turn the radio on for a while , every song will seem to be written just for you .

In the quiet moments when you find yourself thinking of your loss , know that we are thinking of you .

 

[arrow]

No matter how mad, sad, or upset I get, she is a good woman and wife.

'Til Tomorrow.....[/QUOTE]

You sir are on a correct track. This is a matter of choice. What starts out so obvious relationship wise, can get skewed in so many ways later on down the road. In other words, there are no guarantees. What makes your assertion so healthy is the fact that you do not have to take this so personally. This is something she did for her and not necessarily to you. You will not get toxic with your present attitude. She may be thinking the grass is greener if indeed there was not something overt that ended this relationship. This same thing also happened to a buddy of mine. His biggest problems began when she came back as she was still restless. People are funny. We are not hard to figure out as a species, its just that we hide ourselves from each other. Take each day at a time because each day can take an unexpected twist. What you had Rutwag, even though it was shorter in duration than you liked, was better than a lot of marriages that last 40 years of which the last 32 were miserable. One day you'll hold your head high, mainly because you'll be more attractive that way. Of course their might be the twist down the line of your wife finding out it takes a **** of alot more water to keep the grass greener if indeed that is why she scooted.. As I said, life is funny.

 

[Matt_Jr]

it takes a **** of alot more water to keep the grass greener

I've never heard that side of it. Good point.

 

[RickO]

What's the saying, what doesn't break us will make us stronger? Hopefully I will come through better than ever. Whether she left because of something missing here or because of something she may have found elsewhere, I can still look to myself and see where I could have been better. I've decided not to blame myself, just realize how I can better myself.


'Til Tomorrow.....

This is right thinking and applies to all of life. It is pointless to beat yourself up over the past regardless of what it was. As you think of things, regrets, etc. if you feel the need to share them or appologize to get them off your chest, send a letter to her and let her know. But don't expect anything from that letter - do it for you and your recovery if it helps to do it.

Then move on after you send it. Don't even worry if she received it or how she reacted to it because you are not responsible for her reactons/actions - nor can you control them. Remember this is for your recovery and if you are a kind hearted dude this will help ease any guilt that may tend to creep into your mind to make you even more miserable. A letter is also non-threatening to her "Freedom". She can read it, burn it, save it for later. But your conscious will be clear so that you can move on.

I find myself doing this with my kids - one is out of the house. I've made some mistakes with raising kids, as everyone does. When some of my parenting mistakes keep nagging at me, I appologize when I get a chance, send a letter etc. Then I move on and don't beat myself up for it. I believe it is up to the other person to forgive and I can't do their forgiving for them.

 

[rockinmywaypa]

I've often heard that rejection is God's protection, jpm may have just proved it, many others have proved it, I've seen it and it put a smile on my face knowing that I've dodged the bullit so to speak.

 

[dmccarty]

Oh yeah, avoid country, and or sappy music stations, for the foreseeable future.

Do not EVER EVER EVER put into the CD player, remember those, , a CD you just got in the mail from the CD club.....

While you are packing up the stuff she left behind....

And the CD is Don Henley's "The End of the Innocence." which has the song, "The Last Worthless Evening"

Don Henley | The Last Worthless Evening lyrics

If I ONLY knew then what I know now.

Later,
Dan

 

[EddieWalker]

You guys are killing me with the music references. I never liked country music before my divorce, but for some unknown reason, started listening to it right after the divorce. For the first time in my life, it made sense to me!!!!

Eddie

 

[rutwad]

I am cautious of country music, along with anything that may have been her favorite song, or music for other reasons. Sounds and smells have a strong memory association with them.

Part of me says give up and move on. Part of me says wait to see that she moves on instead of coming back. Marriage is forever, but she has to be willing to come back. I hate to move on without her having a little time to rationalize things and make up her mind.

 

[carpenter383]

Originally Posted by arrow
it takes a **** of alot more water to keep the grass greener


The grass is only greener 'cause it's got cow s**t in it

 

[arrow]

Rutwad, there is nothing you have to do. Do what YOU wish. Just do not allow your actions and feelings to be dictated by the moves or talk of others. If you want a shot of getting her back, its not up to you, but I will opine not to chase this. Appear manly and strong in any incidental contacts you may have with her and not all glum about the break up even if it is while she's picking up her things. You have plenty of time to be depressed privately. and the funny thing, you'll actually be more attractive to her as you exude a strength which seems to make us more desirable. (just like in nature) Give this whole thing time with no expectations either way. If there is nothing egregiously wrong in your marriage, as quick as she left, she could come back and I do not care what she said about it being over. Take it a day at a time and remember how odd life can be at any point. What is here today may be gone tomorrow but the vice versa is also true.