COMPLETELY LOST!! 2010 doesn't look good

[dave1949]

Rutwad,

You say you were not spending time with about anyone except your parents and wife.

Consider expanding your social contacts. Maybe join an antique tractor club or the like, something that interests you. Try to get out and interface with other people you have something in common with and make acquaintances.

I know this varies alot amongst people, some can't stand to be alone and others prefer a good bit of solitude. But, I think most everyone needs some 'people time' now and then, outside of family. TBN is fine as far as it goes, but it's only a partial substitute for social contact.
Dave.

 

[Ezlivn]

Rutwad,

You say you were not spending time with about anyone except your parents and wife.

Consider expanding your social contacts. Maybe join an antique tractor club or the like, something that interests you. Try to get out and interface with other people you have something in common with and make acquaintances.

I know this varies alot amongst people, some can't stand to be alone and others prefer a good bit of solitude. But, I think most everyone needs some 'people time' now and then, outside of family. TBN is fine as far as it goes, but it's only a partial substitute for social contact.
Dave.

I agree with Dave here Rutwad....TBN is nice ..BUT>>>>THERE ARE NO CHICKS ON THIS SITE!!!

Gotta lighten things up a bit here bros. There is light at the end of the tunnel my man!! Hey look at the bright side.....YOU got a tractor...she don't!!!

 

[Ridgewalker]

Rutwad this could end up being a blessing in disguise. You now have more time to spend with your parents and as a bonus you can stay on your tractor as long as you want.

Once you the dust settles (locks changed yet? ) you should take some time to go do something that's on your bucket list. Take advantage of the freedom you now have. It likely won't last long, some other shemale will come traipsing along before you know it.

 

[rutwad]

Again, reading the threads eases my pain which is almost overbearing at times. Yes, time heals and I need to move on. But I am hoping for her to return instead of finding someone new.

And as great as the freedom is, it's terribly lonely. Tackling the bucket list would be much more fun with someone special. Moving on and trying to get past her is the hardest, but each day I accomplish something new which is one step closer to independance (bad choice of word maybe).

I am not suicidal, and I am not a drinker. But I can definitley see how something so devastating could lead to disasterous results for those that are.

It's a pleasure to come home and read the new posts and all the support. Especially since I don't have a warm meal to sit down to, and my TV has gone out.

 

[kyspartan]

Rutwad this could end up being a blessing in disguise. You now have more time to spend with your parents and as a bonus you can stay on your tractor as long as you want.

Once you the dust settles (locks changed yet? ) you should take some time to go do something that's on your bucket list. Take advantage of the freedom you now have. It likely won't last long, some other SHEMALE will come traipsing along before you know it.

what!?? hopefully this doesn't put him completely off of women ;p

 

[Matt_Jr]

Rutwad, you might not realize this, but we're rootin' for you dude. We do care. I was thinkin' bout you at work man! Thinkin' what can I do to boost Rutwads spirits?

One of my co-workers has a wife that moved out 2 years ago, and he's still tryin' to make things work. It's killing him. All the people at work keep telling him to let her go, but there's a kid involved so he's tryin' to make it work. And he's wasting his time and effort. She's been dating someone else for a year now, though she claims it's nothing serious. DON'T DO THIS. Don't wait for her to come back. Try to put it in your head, that you don't want her back. She's done an egregious thing that there should be no tolerance for. Kick this chick to the curb, and find yourself one worthy of you man. Oh, what kind of locks did you use when you changed them? Put up some cameras too. The person that you love, is no longer that same person. No tellin' what she'll be up to now. I don't mean fo this to sound offensive, but it's the truth, and I'm gonna tell it like I see it. Be strong, keep your head up, and make some lemonaide. How's the saying go? When one door closes, another one opens. Sounds easy coming from someone who hasn't one through this same problem, but believe me. I've gone through some stuff that I'm not proud of, and I've let others take advantage of me 'cause I'm a nice guy. I've had to pull myself up using by bootstraps more than once, and if there's one thing I learned from my past, it's that there's a wonderfull lesson to be learned from each hardship. It's a test of charactor and strength. And it'll teach you who you really are, and help you become what you want to be. But you have to let it, and use it to your advantage. Not let it control you, but you control it. Control it, drive it. That in which you manifest, will come before you. Now get to manifestin' some good. If you want to rant, rant here. We're here for you. It's small. I know. What can we do with words. I'm sittin' here in my living room with my wife and two dogs, stokin' the fire, tryin' to stay warm, but I'm there too. In your corner. Ok, I'll shut up now, but I'll be back.

Ok, I lied, I gotta tell you what I do when I'm feelin' a little down. Then I'll shut up.
When I'm sitting in a ditch, or the lowest point, I think of trips I've takin' on my bike. The best trips. Not who I was with persay, but the ride itself. On my motorcycle through the coal mining towns of West Virginia. The smell of the coal burning in the powerplants. The rain hitting me, my hands freezing 'cause it's 34 degrees showing on the church sign I'm passing. The turn comming up. The transfer of weight. Having to turn on the heated grips, but they're no match for nature. Though my palms are burning from the heat, the rain has soaked through the "waterproof" gloves, and the tips of my fingers are frozen. My chest has never felt this cold. The wind is goin' straight through the flaps and zipper and showing me that I'm getting beatin'. Maybe I should pull over, fuel up, and get a hot chocolate. Now I'm drinkin' the hot chocolate, talking to a trucker who tells me about some of the roads he's been on. Not too much hot chocolate. Having to pee takes energy, and I still have 2000 miles to ride by wednesday. Six ounces, then I'll leave. I'm buying a newspaper too. I don't even plan on reading it. It's goin' behind this sad excuse of a leaking zipper in my gore-tex rain suit to help warm my chest. Those homeless guys know how great newspapers are for warmth. Proof I can learn from anyone. Now that I'm not shivering anymore I'm gonna go. I'll eat an apple and energy bar next stop. Gotta keep things flowin' so I'll push some water at lunch. But it's only 10:00 am, gone 200 miles, and I've got another 300+ before dark. I'll make Kentucky by noone tomarrow, and I'll get to smell those tobacco leaves hangin in the barns. Can't wait. I've sung the same song over and over again so many times in my helmet, Dwight Yoakam would be plantin' me in the Big Sandy if he heard it.......

You get the point. Now I'll shut up.. for now

 

[Ezlivn]

Dude...that was wild!!!

 

[CurlyDave]

Rutwad:

I agree you need to increase your social contacts. You might not feel like it now, but if you put it off it will become one more thing on that bucket list and may never get done.

Now this might not your cup of tea, but the best way you can increase you social contacts is to go to a church. Yep, whatever religion you have roots with, go there. Listen to the sermon, pay attention, and make an appointment to see the pastor sometime mid-week, when he has time.

I spent a lot of my life looking for friends in all the wrong places. The women I met at work, in bars, at friend's houses, on blind dates, never lasted. The one I met at church is the best ever. We care for each other and work on common goals. We have our moments of difficulty, but we get over them quickly and really care for each other.

We are all rooting for you. In a few months you will be well on the way to recovery from this.

 

[dmccarty]

I forgot to add this in my earlier post.

I listen to the Bob and Sheri radio show in the morning. They are a syndicated radio show out of Charlotte, NC with stations broadcasting them all across the US. They have been doing the show for about 14 years now which is forever is radio time. Bob use to be one of the "reporters" on PM Magazine if you can remember that old show from decades back.

They are very funny and I always get a good laugh out of them.

They read quite a few lists or surveys that might be interesting to their listeners. A few months back they did a list/survey on the most "popular" time of the year to have a break up....

And that time is in January. A person, it seemed like the ladies were more likely to plot and plan this than a man, would decide to end the relationship but it would be in the late summer or early fall. With Thanksgiving followed by Christmas and the New Years people would just wait until the holidays were over and then end the relationship. The New Year resolution is to start over. And they do.

A person who does this has been planing for MONTHS to make the break up. They might be a good half of a year or a year ahead of the other person emotionally. They have almost certainly put the relationship behind them and moved on.

Later,
Dan

 

[Oleozz]

Once you get some of your personal issues resolved than get out of the house and get involved. Church, boy scouts, Lions Club, just to name a few, will help you get your mind off yourself and you will be doing something useful.
Hang in there.

 

[EddieWalker]

A person who does this has been planing for MONTHS to make the break up. They might be a good half of a year or a year ahead of the other person emotionally. They have almost certainly put the relationship behind them and moved on.

Later,
Dan

This is very insightful, and something that I hadn't considered. She's been in the mindset that it's over from the day she decided to end the relationship. There's no telling how long ago that was, but it's allowed her to come to terms with it and justify it in my mind. She's not hurting anymore because for her, she's had the time to heal and move on.

What's really sad is that she's only thinking of herself and probably never considered, or comprehends the pain that her actions have caused.

Read what Dan wrote several times. It's very good information and something that I'm going to remember.

Eddie

 

[catfishdaddyengineering]

Rutwad,
Sorry to hear about your ill fortunes at the start of the year. I live just North of the Gump, so not too far apart. I am at a loss for words as to what the deal is with women nowadays. Most just seem to be crazy. On one hand they complain that they can't find a good man to treat them right, but on the other hand they pull this kind of crap, or are always dating losers and say they just want to be friends with the guy that will treat them like a Queen!

I am the same way with my wife that you were as far as friends. We started out as friends before we dated and have now been married for 13yrs with 3 kids. We are far apart from our families, so we have to rely on each other, and I would be the same way as you if I lost her.

One piece of advice for anyone else out there without many friends besides family or your spouse is that absence (but not too much!!) makes the heart grow fonder. I have to travel a few times a year on business and getting home makes it so much sweeter.

I am praying for the Lord's will in your life and hers. We TBN'ers don't know both sides of the story, but you both need the prayer for whatever has happened.

 

[kyspartan]

Rutwad,
Sorry to hear about your ill fortunes at the start of the year. I live just North of the Gump, so not too far apart. I am at a loss for words as to what the deal is with women nowadays. Most just seem to be crazy. On one hand they complain that they can't find a good man to treat them right, but on the other hand they pull this kind of crap, or are always dating losers and say they just want to be friends with the guy that will treat them like a Queen!

i learned that lesson a long time ago, a woman will stay longer with a man that treats her badly, than she will with a guy that treats her like a queen. its darnedest thing i have ever seen
as the saying goes, nice guys finnish last. and i have a feeling that saying is about women

 

[ray66v]

Oh yeah, avoid country, and or sappy music stations, for the foreseeable future.

 

[mnbowhunter1960]

Rutwald, you have received some really great advise here, and you will go through alot of different feeling in the next few weeks/months, love,hate confusion etc. at least I did, but time really does heal and you will be a better person in the end for what you are going through.You will love and be happy again someday soon even though it seems impossible right now, hang in there!

MH

 

[GPintheMitten]

Hi Rutwad,

I hope your feeling better some. I haven't read everything everybody posted but I want to say, I feel for you. When my wife and I were busting up after 33 years of marriage, I was really devastated and taken by surprise. I wanted to 'win' her back. I was a real mess.

But a wise social worker told me, that was not going to happen and that I should get myself stronger so I could move on eventually. He was right but I thought he was wrong and blunt and stupid and uncaring. Yep he was right.

It took a while but being with my two brothers who had been through divorce helped me. They didn't tell me what to do or give me much real direct advice but they kinda talked about the situations they went through and how a man can recover and have a good life but it takes time. I'm sure it took me a lot longer than some to get feeling better about myself and life in general.

But back to being with my brothers... after I was with them on the boat for a weekend, and was still living with my wife but 'astranged' I guess you might say, I decided that if she was acting in this way, and I was engaged, I wouldn't marry her and if were dating, I would not get engaged. So why would I want to stay married to her. I decided that I had my whole life ahead of me and it was going to hurt for a while, but I had to get away from her and get on my own to eventually feel better later.

So I forgot about trying to 'win' her back and decided to end our marriage and move on. It took a few years for me to feel better and I had a lot of support from my grown kids (and she got support from them too).

I tried to date too soon and stopped seeking that out for awhile. About 3 years later I decided to do something to try and find a good caring woman. Eventually I did and we fell in love and are quite happy. Life is good again for me. It will be for you eventually too.

Now I look back and think based on our relationship and her behaviour, and think why did I ever want to win her back.

Chin up. Seek out time with the guys. And you will be much better down the road. You'll learn from this relationship and probably contribute better to the next one. I have.

 

[tugboat-2]

Hi Rutwad,....I too hope you are beginning to feel a little better,...at least you should be getting somewhat used to the whole idea and have been able to kick various thoughts and ideas around in that confused head of yours.

I think "GPintheMitten" makes good sense and should supply you with more good thoughts to consider.

If you had a cat you loved and it decided to run off one day,... and through your grief you were able to eventually track it down and grab the little bugger,... while it was snarling, biting your hand and scratching you bloody,.. you managed to get it back home and securely inside the house.

Great,...good for you,...feel better? ...But, "WHAT" have you got? Can you leave the house? Can you leave a door adjar? ..or a window open? You now have a prisoner ! (who is likely planning another escape)? You want it back but it does NOT want to be back!!!

Best let the cat go, . . . ... one day you'll find one who "WANTS" to be with you,..appreciates the things you do,..and will love you! ..Just thought this might help focus the picture that's a little blurry at the moment?

This will be one of THEE most difficult tasks you will likely ever face,... but you must do it. Take your time, but get it done! Life "will" be good again!!

We are all just trying hard to "assist" you through this very rough part of your life. ...again, I wish you the very best!!

CHEERS!
. . tug

 

[rox]

rutwad- after re-reading everything you wrote I'll go out on a limb here. It wasn't your fault. You are a really nice guy and it comes through. My sister's ex did the same thing to her, jsut wanted out and there was no overriding reason. She met and remarried an engineer and his wife had up and left him also. She was not happy because he worked to much and she wanted to party more. For valentines day he bought a trip to London to spend time together and she walked away instead. In our family we value hard work and would never think of leaving someone because they work to much. My husband being a chef worked all week-ends when he was younger and all holidays. I would have never thought to leave him because he had to work. His hard work kept us living in style. Oher women, shallow women would have resented not having a ready partner to "go out" with.

I would say that there is something missing inside of her, and again you seem like a heck of a good catch to me! Keeping busy is excellent advice, your best days are ahead of you, try not to look back, look forward.