You Know You Are Old When

[ultrarunner]

Bummer… things like that are a lot of fun if you have room.

 

[MossRoad]

Bummer… things like that are a lot of fun if you have room.

Oh, we don't have the room! Wife let me know that, too.

I'd have put it in the garage to listen to when working out there, or sitting by the swimming pool.

When I was a kid, the neighborhood bully's father had a hobby rebuilding player pianos. There were always 3-4 in his garage, and when we'd be walking the dogs you'd hear them playing, as he had the garage door open anytime he was out there. I liked the dad. He was pretty friendly and showed us how they worked. His kid, on the other hand...

Last I interacted with him was probably the winter of 1976-77. He was lying on his side in the middle of the street in a puddle of wet heavy snow because I popped him in the crotch with a snowball just after he punched my best friend in the back of the head. He swore revenge on us. I'm still waiting.

 

[Fixastuff]

You post on TBN to rile the trolls for entertainment.

Obviously it was a self-defecating joke, since I'm on here reading and wearing adult diapers.

 

[scootr]

You're old when a sexy woman offers to give you super sex and you take the soup.

You know your old when this joke takes a while for you to get it ....

 

[lilranch2001]

When the 50 ish age women are young hotties…..

 

[scootr]

When attractive women look more like a liability than a thrill.

 

[NoTrespassing]

This actually happened, I picked my 10 year old son up from "aftercare" at his school. My wife didn't realize it and went there on her way home from work. The lady informed her that his grandfather already picked him up I am plenty old enough to be his grandfather.

 

[oosik]

When you can still remember WW2 and the concerns your folks had.

 

[CH4Ohio]

You go downstairs to lift weights and end-up injured for 4 weeks

I'm afraid to go downstairs to lift weights. Afraid I won't be able to make it back upstairs.

 

[Jstpssng]

@haydude here's an old man workout.

You start with a 1lb sack of potatoes held out level at arms length. Keep using that until you can hold it for 2 mins x 5 reps.

Then you just slowly work your way up 2lb sack, 5lb sack, stopping at 50lbs.

Once you can hold a 50lb sack for 2 mins x 5 reps, you go back to the 1lb sack but this time put a potato in it. Lol.

When I was a kid I read a book about Ethan Allen and the Green Mountain Boys, of Revolutionary War fame. When they went to town for supplies he supposedly would shoulder his pack, pick up a 50 pound bag of potatoes up with his teeth, toss it over his shoulder and head back up into the mountains.
Last month I was taking groceries out of the truck in the rain and had the brainstorm of carrying a 10 lb bag into the house in my teeth.

That book should have had a disclaimer...
KIDS! DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME!!!!