My neighbor is a fine, fine man. He is a self employed builder who specializes in additions, roofs etc. He has a backhoe, dozer, dump, skidsteer. In the five years we've lived beside one another, he has used his equipment to help me with projects around the property that would have taken me days to complete with shovel & wheelbarrel. He refuses to take any payment for his services and when I insist, he always gives me a look like "Aren't we good enough friends that I can do this for you because I want to?" Still, theres the wear & tear on his equipment, fuel costs, his time. In the past I have given him certificates to restraunts, homebaked cookies (my wife did those, not me /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif) with some $$$ under the cookies. I'm really at a loss. What do you guys think?
What should I do?
- Thread starter coachgrd
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Gatorboy
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<font color="blue"> ( What do you guys think? ) </font>
I think he is truely a good friend/neighbor that does not expect payment in terms of money. I would bet that he values his relationship with you and your wife. If he didn't he would not be doing what he does for you. I think the gift certificates and cookies are also appreciated on his end. I wouldn't do anything different.
I do things for others with no expectations of payment because I appreciate their friendship or small things they have done for me in the past, etc.
I think he is truely a good friend/neighbor that does not expect payment in terms of money. I would bet that he values his relationship with you and your wife. If he didn't he would not be doing what he does for you. I think the gift certificates and cookies are also appreciated on his end. I wouldn't do anything different.
I do things for others with no expectations of payment because I appreciate their friendship or small things they have done for me in the past, etc.
Freds
Veteran Member
I say the money was probably a slap in the face, but that may be just me.
I think favors should be returned with favors. My one next door neighbor and I exchange favors all the time even when one of us is going out of his way.
If you're really feeling guilty fill up some diesel cans for him or mow his lawn (if you know it's a chore for him). Buy him a case of cold ones and save him the trip. Next time it snows take care of his driveway, even if it's months after he's helped you.
Or maybe you should just move and let me move next to him /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif He sounds like a good neighbor to have! /forums/images/graemlins/cool.gif
I think favors should be returned with favors. My one next door neighbor and I exchange favors all the time even when one of us is going out of his way.
If you're really feeling guilty fill up some diesel cans for him or mow his lawn (if you know it's a chore for him). Buy him a case of cold ones and save him the trip. Next time it snows take care of his driveway, even if it's months after he's helped you.
Or maybe you should just move and let me move next to him /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif He sounds like a good neighbor to have! /forums/images/graemlins/cool.gif
Varmintmist
Platinum Member
Its called being neighborly /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif He is doing it because he wants to.
Keep feeding him and offering cash or gas, the instant you take him for granted it will be a different relationship. The gift cert's are a good idea. Find out what he likes to eat, find out their anniversery and get a gift cert to a good restaraunt (Iron Bridge /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif rt 19S for you)
You could just keep going after you get your yard done and cut his. When you see him working on ANYTHING, go over. Even if you dont know how the skidsteer goes back together, you have hands. Basicly be ready to help anytime he needs it.
Keep feeding him and offering cash or gas, the instant you take him for granted it will be a different relationship. The gift cert's are a good idea. Find out what he likes to eat, find out their anniversery and get a gift cert to a good restaraunt (Iron Bridge /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif rt 19S for you)
You could just keep going after you get your yard done and cut his. When you see him working on ANYTHING, go over. Even if you dont know how the skidsteer goes back together, you have hands. Basicly be ready to help anytime he needs it.
MossRoad
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I usually charge my friends a bottle of cold pop. /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif
It all works out in the end... you help someone and feel good about it. They help someone else, etc... eventually, it comes back to you. /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif
It all works out in the end... you help someone and feel good about it. They help someone else, etc... eventually, it comes back to you. /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif
Hambone
Platinum Member
I like cookies! That usually works for me. I don't expect anything really either. The only thing I ask, just keep an eye on things while we are gone. That in itself is well worth helping my neighbors.
EddieWalker
Epic Contributor
When I help out a friend with a project, I do it cause I like them. If they offer a meal or some goodies, that's a nice bonus for me that tells me they appreciate my assistance.
I won't offer to help someboyd unless I want to, and if it's one of those so called "moocher" people I know, then I have a standard reply. Sorry, just too **** busy.
One time a friends showed up with a 40 gallon drum of diesel. WOW, what a great suprise that was!! Another friend bought me a new front tire on my backhoe. It was getting bald, but I figured it would last a few more months. And of course, being invited over for a steak grilled on the BBQ is always a great way to spend time with friends.
Eddie
I won't offer to help someboyd unless I want to, and if it's one of those so called "moocher" people I know, then I have a standard reply. Sorry, just too **** busy.
One time a friends showed up with a 40 gallon drum of diesel. WOW, what a great suprise that was!! Another friend bought me a new front tire on my backhoe. It was getting bald, but I figured it would last a few more months. And of course, being invited over for a steak grilled on the BBQ is always a great way to spend time with friends.
Eddie
JerryG
Super Member
A good neighbor of long ago would have been insulted with the money. A good neighbor helps any neighbor that needs help. But, that neighbor will also return help when needed. Most have got to where that doesn't happen anymore. I know that is the way that I operate with my neighbors and if or when I need help they are always there.
beenthere
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I think you are handling it okay. Offer to help, and a gift certificate once in awhile but it is something this neighbor just wants to do. Save your time and energy to help someone else in a similar manner or whatever you can do.
I like to take my equipment over to a neighbors to help him and he always wants to pay, but I don't do it for pay. I tell him, if he pays me I will have to stop coming.
I used to receive the same treatment from a neighbor, who was always helping me with his equipment. He wouldn't take any pay either, but if I did something for him, he always wanted to know "What do I owe you?". I'd say, "when I ever catch up to not owing you, we can talk about what you owe me".
Only for some instances do I charge for what I do. If someone wants some field work done, and it looks like it is just so they can avoid buying or renting some equipment, and will be on an annual request, then I charge ($50/hour).
Meanwhile, keep that neighbor happy by having some projects for him to help you with. /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif
I like to take my equipment over to a neighbors to help him and he always wants to pay, but I don't do it for pay. I tell him, if he pays me I will have to stop coming.
I used to receive the same treatment from a neighbor, who was always helping me with his equipment. He wouldn't take any pay either, but if I did something for him, he always wanted to know "What do I owe you?". I'd say, "when I ever catch up to not owing you, we can talk about what you owe me".
Only for some instances do I charge for what I do. If someone wants some field work done, and it looks like it is just so they can avoid buying or renting some equipment, and will be on an annual request, then I charge ($50/hour).
Meanwhile, keep that neighbor happy by having some projects for him to help you with. /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif
He is probably doing it in the hope you will spread the word and he will get more work.
If you want to give him something and I think it is good to do so how about having a few drinks afterwards with him. Or drop a 4 pack over. As other have said, go over and help him with things.
Be sure not to cramp his style though. There was a thread on another forum where someones neighbour after mowing his own grass continuad over to mow this guys. The guy was happy with this but the guy mowed too low and scalped his grass. What im saying is do it as he does if you want to help out.
Usually if someone wants to pay me I accept a small amount, this way its still a favour really but theydont fell in debt, as you may feel now.
Around my area I try to help people out as ultimately I think it will help me in the future. Recently I gave a guy some wheels and tyres for a trailer he was planning to build and gave him advice and materials ect. I just gave it to him FOC, didnt need the stuff myself. The next time I walked by his house the called me over and gave me a 4 pack straight out the fridge. /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif Wonder if theres any more things he needs!?
If you want to give him something and I think it is good to do so how about having a few drinks afterwards with him. Or drop a 4 pack over. As other have said, go over and help him with things.
Be sure not to cramp his style though. There was a thread on another forum where someones neighbour after mowing his own grass continuad over to mow this guys. The guy was happy with this but the guy mowed too low and scalped his grass. What im saying is do it as he does if you want to help out.
Usually if someone wants to pay me I accept a small amount, this way its still a favour really but theydont fell in debt, as you may feel now.
Around my area I try to help people out as ultimately I think it will help me in the future. Recently I gave a guy some wheels and tyres for a trailer he was planning to build and gave him advice and materials ect. I just gave it to him FOC, didnt need the stuff myself. The next time I walked by his house the called me over and gave me a 4 pack straight out the fridge. /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif Wonder if theres any more things he needs!?
LarryD
Veteran Member
<font color="blue"> Or drop a 4 pack over. </font>
I would probably ask you what happened to the other two Mith. /forums/images/graemlins/confused.gif
I got along very well with my neighbor before they moved. He usually sent his son up to pick up the trash can and haul it up to the main road. And since I got home first, I would take his empty back to his house.
When I bought the house, he had already cleared and tilled an area for his garden, half of which was on my property. He was ready to smooth it out and plant grass back but I said no need for that. When he got ready to move, that area was rock free and in better shape than when I got here, not to mention the fresh vegtables in season.
Look for little things you can do for him, they mean a lot more than money.
The property next door is still for sale and the CFO is worried sick about what the new neighbor will be like.
I would probably ask you what happened to the other two Mith. /forums/images/graemlins/confused.gif
I got along very well with my neighbor before they moved. He usually sent his son up to pick up the trash can and haul it up to the main road. And since I got home first, I would take his empty back to his house.
When I bought the house, he had already cleared and tilled an area for his garden, half of which was on my property. He was ready to smooth it out and plant grass back but I said no need for that. When he got ready to move, that area was rock free and in better shape than when I got here, not to mention the fresh vegtables in season.
Look for little things you can do for him, they mean a lot more than money.
The property next door is still for sale and the CFO is worried sick about what the new neighbor will be like.
JimR
Elite Member
You should be grateful to have such a nice neighbor. I would buy him things that he will enjoy using. Whether they be tools, fishing equipment, hunting rifle whatever. A friendship like that is hard to beat. My old neighbor was a doctor and always tried to pay me for plowing his driveway. He worked long hours during the week and was always wiped out when he got home. It use to take me all of 10 minutes to plow his driveway with my truck. We were very good friends till he moved far away. He would buy me fishing gear so we could spend time together fishing. There was always a case of beer appearing at my house too. I always got the feeling from him that he owed me and he mentioned it all too often. But hey, that's what friends are for. Be thankful and go buy the guy something that he will always cherish. I should also mention that he let me use his tractor to work on my barn when I was tractorless two years ago. I changed his oil and greased his machine for him.
Youare
Platinum Member
I can only speak for myself about taking money for doing something to help a neighbor of friend out. I don't mind if in return for the help they invite me and the wife to share a meal with them but that is the limit.
Any other compensation robs one of the blessing of trying to use the things that you have to meet the needs of neighbors and friends. The people who continue to go out of their way to help someone else do so because they find great satisfaction doing those things.
From the other side of the coin I know when someone spends their time and resources helping me out I feel like I should at give some compensation for the expences they incured. Most people are willing to accept gas money these days and still feel they have helped out a friend.
However, sometimes just a thank you is all they want or need.
Randy
Any other compensation robs one of the blessing of trying to use the things that you have to meet the needs of neighbors and friends. The people who continue to go out of their way to help someone else do so because they find great satisfaction doing those things.
From the other side of the coin I know when someone spends their time and resources helping me out I feel like I should at give some compensation for the expences they incured. Most people are willing to accept gas money these days and still feel they have helped out a friend.
However, sometimes just a thank you is all they want or need.
Randy
InlineDieselFan
Gold Member
He is just being a good neighbor and friend, keep up the baked goods and thank you's. Forget the cash.
One of my current neighbors a few weeks back saw the Kubota sitting on the trailer in the driveway before I put it out back. A few days later he came by and offered me money to come move a dirt pile and level out a few high spots.
I told him a beer or two would be plenty and I needed the practice of leveling anyway. I was happy to help the guy out even though this was the second time I met him. He again offered me money I refused, so a few days later he brought me two cases of beer. I was happy he was happy and as a bonus I got to play in his yard with my tractor.
steve
One of my current neighbors a few weeks back saw the Kubota sitting on the trailer in the driveway before I put it out back. A few days later he came by and offered me money to come move a dirt pile and level out a few high spots.
I told him a beer or two would be plenty and I needed the practice of leveling anyway. I was happy to help the guy out even though this was the second time I met him. He again offered me money I refused, so a few days later he brought me two cases of beer. I was happy he was happy and as a bonus I got to play in his yard with my tractor.
steve
johnday
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I'm not sure what you should do, but it's too bad there's not more people around like you nieghbor. In the winter, there are a few older people in my nieghborhood, and some not so old, that I move their snow. It gives me seat time, and doesn't hurt me one bit. I don't want anything in return. There is one woman tho that insists on paying something. Her driveway is not very big, and it takes maybe 10 minutes tops to do it. So on her drive, I try to do it before she gets home. She still will come over with a check that I really don't want! Another guy across the street has a gravel drive that's a bear to plow. I hate leaving his drive in a mess, so I get him when the snow is real deep. I don't like dragging his gravel out of his drivveway, ya know!
Now, when it comes to moving 10 yards on up of gravel or dirt, or leveling off a big area, I charge $50 an hour. But I really have to look hard at the job and owner, and decide if they can afford it. I've been known to do things like that just for fuel because I've seen what they've done for others. Besides, one of the snow neighbors makes real good Dutch Apple pie! /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif
Your niehgbor? Be good to the guy, there is probably something you could do for him that he has problems with. Some contractors like myself are pretty goofy, sometimes you just like to do things such as your nieghbor does. /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif
Now, when it comes to moving 10 yards on up of gravel or dirt, or leveling off a big area, I charge $50 an hour. But I really have to look hard at the job and owner, and decide if they can afford it. I've been known to do things like that just for fuel because I've seen what they've done for others. Besides, one of the snow neighbors makes real good Dutch Apple pie! /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif
Your niehgbor? Be good to the guy, there is probably something you could do for him that he has problems with. Some contractors like myself are pretty goofy, sometimes you just like to do things such as your nieghbor does. /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif
