What should I do?

coachgrd · Jun 21, 2005

My neighbor is a fine, fine man. He is a self employed builder who specializes in additions, roofs etc. He has a backhoe, dozer, dump, skidsteer. In the five years we've lived beside one another, he has used his equipment to help me with projects around the property that would have taken me days to complete with shovel & wheelbarrel. He refuses to take any payment for his services and when I insist, he always gives me a look like "Aren't we good enough friends that I can do this for you because I want to?" Still, theres the wear & tear on his equipment, fuel costs, his time. In the past I have given him certificates to restraunts, homebaked cookies (my wife did those, not me /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif) with some $$$ under the cookies. I'm really at a loss. What do you guys think?

Gatorboy · Jun 21, 2005

<font color="blue"> ( What do you guys think? ) </font>

I think he is truely a good friend/neighbor that does not expect payment in terms of money. I would bet that he values his relationship with you and your wife. If he didn't he would not be doing what he does for you. I think the gift certificates and cookies are also appreciated on his end. I wouldn't do anything different.

I do things for others with no expectations of payment because I appreciate their friendship or small things they have done for me in the past, etc.

Freds · Jun 21, 2005

I say the money was probably a slap in the face, but that may be just me.
I think favors should be returned with favors. My one next door neighbor and I exchange favors all the time even when one of us is going out of his way.
If you're really feeling guilty fill up some diesel cans for him or mow his lawn (if you know it's a chore for him). Buy him a case of cold ones and save him the trip. Next time it snows take care of his driveway, even if it's months after he's helped you.

Or maybe you should just move and let me move next to him /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif He sounds like a good neighbor to have! /forums/images/graemlins/cool.gif

Varmintmist · Jun 21, 2005

Its called being neighborly /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif He is doing it because he wants to.

Keep feeding him and offering cash or gas, the instant you take him for granted it will be a different relationship. The gift cert's are a good idea. Find out what he likes to eat, find out their anniversery and get a gift cert to a good restaraunt (Iron Bridge /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif rt 19S for you)

You could just keep going after you get your yard done and cut his. When you see him working on ANYTHING, go over. Even if you dont know how the skidsteer goes back together, you have hands. Basicly be ready to help anytime he needs it.

MossRoad · Jun 21, 2005

I usually charge my friends a bottle of cold pop. /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

It all works out in the end... you help someone and feel good about it. They help someone else, etc... eventually, it comes back to you. /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

Hambone · Jun 21, 2005

I like cookies! That usually works for me. I don't expect anything really either. The only thing I ask, just keep an eye on things while we are gone. That in itself is well worth helping my neighbors.

gsxr1100 · Jun 21, 2005

I do odd jobs for my neighbor and my payment is sitting down and have some cold ones with him......

The guy (dads army buddy) who removed my inground pool and gave me over 120 yeards of dirt wanted Kielbasa and some smokes. ..sign me up!

EddieWalker · Jun 21, 2005

When I help out a friend with a project, I do it cause I like them. If they offer a meal or some goodies, that's a nice bonus for me that tells me they appreciate my assistance.

I won't offer to help someboyd unless I want to, and if it's one of those so called "moocher" people I know, then I have a standard reply. Sorry, just too **** busy.

One time a friends showed up with a 40 gallon drum of diesel. WOW, what a great suprise that was!! Another friend bought me a new front tire on my backhoe. It was getting bald, but I figured it would last a few more months. And of course, being invited over for a steak grilled on the BBQ is always a great way to spend time with friends.

Eddie

JerryG · Jun 21, 2005

A good neighbor of long ago would have been insulted with the money. A good neighbor helps any neighbor that needs help. But, that neighbor will also return help when needed. Most have got to where that doesn't happen anymore. I know that is the way that I operate with my neighbors and if or when I need help they are always there.

beenthere · Jun 21, 2005

I think you are handling it okay. Offer to help, and a gift certificate once in awhile but it is something this neighbor just wants to do. Save your time and energy to help someone else in a similar manner or whatever you can do.

I like to take my equipment over to a neighbors to help him and he always wants to pay, but I don't do it for pay. I tell him, if he pays me I will have to stop coming.

I used to receive the same treatment from a neighbor, who was always helping me with his equipment. He wouldn't take any pay either, but if I did something for him, he always wanted to know "What do I owe you?". I'd say, "when I ever catch up to not owing you, we can talk about what you owe me".

Only for some instances do I charge for what I do. If someone wants some field work done, and it looks like it is just so they can avoid buying or renting some equipment, and will be on an annual request, then I charge ($50/hour).

Meanwhile, keep that neighbor happy by having some projects for him to help you with. /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif