I've shared this one before, but it goes with the current trend...
If you help out a friend in need, he'll remember you the next time he's in need.
Loan money to your friend and when it's over you will have lost your money and your friend.
Lending money to a relative can be even worse.
However I consider myself relatively lucky.
- Brother-in-law-number-1, lent money and eventually (maybe 3-5 years later?) did get it back.
- Brother-in-law-number-2 lent money and after about 5 years only got about 10% back.
You're probably thinking that BIL #1 is higher in my graces, but you'd be wrong. Because it's not all about the money.
BIL #1 paid me back grudgingly, and considered his debt paid in full (with no interest charged or paid) when the principle was paid back. And our relationship over the ensuing 20 years has been as if it never happened.
BIL #2 was in over his head. I saw what he was doing and and confronted him. He ended up confessing his living-beyond-his-means situation to his church and other payees. He had a small concrete business, so he had quite a list of debts. Some, such as myself, forgave him his debt (I think ours was about $12k but I know a couple of others were considerably more) while others arranged paybacks that went up to as much as 10 years (he's still paying off some people).
BIL #2 is much higher on my list of people that I respect than BIL #1, even though BIL #2 cost me a lost more $$$. Why? BIL #2 has become one of my best friends. He has proven his repentance, consistently, over the last 10-12 years. He (and his wife, who knew nothing about their financial condition until I confronted her husband about it) have stepped up to the plate - they worked with a local financial consultant to come up with a plan, which included my BIL getting a "real job" and his wife going to work (she had been stay-at-home).
Lending money to a relative can be even worse.
However I consider myself relatively lucky.
- Brother-in-law-number-1, lent money and eventually (maybe 3-5 years later?) did get it back.
- Brother-in-law-number-2 lent money and after about 5 years only got about 10% back.
You're probably thinking that BIL #1 is higher in my graces, but you'd be wrong. Because it's not all about the money.
BIL #1 paid me back grudgingly, and considered his debt paid in full (with no interest charged or paid) when the principle was paid back. And our relationship over the ensuing 20 years has been as if it never happened.
BIL #2 was in over his head. I saw what he was doing and and confronted him. He ended up confessing his living-beyond-his-means situation to his church and other payees. He had a small concrete business, so he had quite a list of debts. Some, such as myself, forgave him his debt (I think ours was about $12k but I know a couple of others were considerably more) while others arranged paybacks that went up to as much as 10 years (he's still paying off some people).
BIL #2 is much higher on my list of people that I respect than BIL #1, even though BIL #2 cost me a lost more $$$. Why? BIL #2 has become one of my best friends. He has proven his repentance, consistently, over the last 10-12 years. He (and his wife, who knew nothing about their financial condition until I confronted her husband about it) have stepped up to the plate - they worked with a local financial consultant to come up with a plan, which included my BIL getting a "real job" and his wife going to work (she had been stay-at-home).