What is your favorite Quote or Saying?

[Doofy]

Coach used to tell me I was so ugly I'd scare a hound dog off a gut wagon! or "Johnson, you look like 10 pounds of **** in a 5 pound bag"!

 

[2ndhalf]

You triggered an ancient memory, and I am compelled to share it. Here goes...

Many years ago, I was watching the old "Lassie" series on an old Magnavox black and white TV. In this episode, the Grandfather went to the old crank telephone and rang "central". He knew the central operator personally; I believe her name was "Milllie". He said "Hello, Millie"...and then a pause, and he says "Oh, fair to middlin". Then he says, "let me talk to Doc So and So...Thanks".

Pretty soon, he says "Hi, Doc...Oh, I'm fit as a fiddle Doc"...and proceeds to carry on his conversation. When he hangs up, the Mother says to him "Dad, how come you are 'fair to middlin' to Millie, and 'fit as a fiddle to Doc?

He says: "If I had told Millie I was 'fit as a fiddle' she would have told everybody I had been drinking; and if I had told Doc I was 'fair to midlin', he would have thought I was sick and would have made me come in to see him".

Ha ha, thats a good memeory! Guys will do anything to get out of seeing the Dr. : )

 

[PILOON]

"don't throw your butts in the urinal. It makes them wet and hard to light"

I always heard it as;
"Don't throw your butts in the urinal. We don't urinate in your ash trays"

 

[sailorman]

I don 't swim in your toilet, please don 't p*ss in my pool.

Comin' in second is like comin' in last in a two man race .

 

[Jim Shooz]

coming second means you're the first loser

 

[Semper Paratus]

Silence is golden; ducktape is silver

 

[dragoneggs]

Silence is golden; ducktape is silver

That’s a good one. Might have to adopt.

 

[2LaneCruzer]

"You boys cut that out or I'm going to snatch you bald headed" My Mom; 1953

 

[Complete Turf Care]

You look like you've been shot at and missed, and **** at and hit.....

 

[Doofy]

...or drug through a knothole backwards!