Tractor rampage

edski · May 12, 2005

ChickenNecks,
Now that I've stopped LMAO...I feel your pain.
I've pulled some dumb stunts in my time, but your boy is truely an overachiever.

Couple of questions:
1) Boxers or briefs? /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif
2) What color was the hat? /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

So sorry, just can't help it.

On the serious side, I'd avoid the Law (unless the Sheriff is a friend), and insurance company if I could. This is a family matter and no one benefits by establishing a "record." You never know, he may run for office someday or need a security clearance.
Try to make the punishment fit the crime. Work his butt off until the damage is repaired, but give him some hope. Perhaps grounded until the work is complete, and the VW is paid for.
Be glad no one was hurt, that the property damage was yours and not a neighbors, and that you have another opportunity to teach him responsibility for his actions.
Good luck, I don't envy you one iota.

Dozernut · May 12, 2005

He attacked his step mothers car and ran off to his mothers house. The young man is still dealing with the issue of your divorce and remarriage. I am not condoning what he did and he should be punished, but you need to look at the underlying problem. The alcohol just brought the anger to the surface.

GerardC · May 12, 2005

I had a class a year or so ago that mention that once a kid gets into the "system" the kid will almost certainly be back. Once in the system they don't get out. 

I have to disagree with your statement. My son is doing FANTASTIC now because he was in the system. In fact, he is a mentor for others now. /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif

GerardC · May 12, 2005

This is a family matter and no one benefits by establishing a "record." 

The record would disappear as he is a minor.

riptides · May 12, 2005

There are a lot of excellent replies to your post.

All I can say, is thank goodness no one was hurt. At least your thinking about a response to the actions. Another good thing.

Sometimes when actions are taken against you, one might fly off the handle in response.

Best of luck.
-Mike Z. /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

dmccarty · May 12, 2005

GerardC,

( I had a class a year or so ago that mention that once a kid gets into the "system" the kid will almost certainly be back. Once in the system they don't get out. )

I KNEW this was going to come back at me. /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

The class was on dealing with JV offenders. There was a study done in NC that looked at JV arrests and, as I remember it, if the person arrested was sent to a JV facility. If the offender went into a facility almost all became repeat offenders. This also had to be a rural vs urban situation since there are not that manyJV facilities and the ones the exists have even fewer beds. Most facilities are in urban areas as well not in the rural counties. So most rural JV offenders went home to family and not a facility. Plus I think it is harder to get into trouble in a rural setting that in a city. There just are not that many kids standing on the corner in the country waiting for trouble. /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Later,
Dan /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

edski · May 12, 2005

( The record would disappear as he is a minor. )

GerardC,
I'm sure there was a time when paper records would disappear, but that time has passed. Data storage is just too cheap today. Every record collected by the locals is shared with the Feds. While these records may be expunged at the local level, they don't go away completely.

Remember when we were kids and our teachers threatened that our bad behavior would go on our "permanent record." Thought it was funny at the time, and don't mean to come off as paranoid or a conspiracy theorist, but it's become real.

ps...I'm very glad for you that your family's experience w/in the "system" has turned out well. It shows that you provided a sound foundation to build upon.

Cactus · May 12, 2005

( I would keep your insurance out of it if you can )
I agree...let the boy pay the bill in one form or another....

lonesome · May 12, 2005

Your profile does not say what type tractor it is, but it must mean something to you or you would not want to give it to your son on his 18th! I would not sell the tractor, kinda like cutting off your nose to spite your face. Sell or keep the tractor for the right reasons. I agree you should get the LAW involved. I remember I was 16 and there was a curfew 11 PM for kids under 18. Well I got caught at 3 AM, they took me to the station and called dad, his response "I need my sleep so I can work today, hold him until I go to work!" Dad showed up at 8:30 and signed for me. I did pay the price when he got home from work that evening.

kensfarm · May 12, 2005

"I agree you should get the LAW involved."

Wonder if they'd follow the beer trail to the neighbor's house and haul them in?

GerardC · May 12, 2005

dmccarty: Understood. We only know what they want us to know. /forums/images/graemlins/smirk.gif /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif

edski: Remember when we were kids and our teachers threatened that our bad behavior would go on our "permanent record." Thought it was funny at the time, and don't mean to come off as paranoid or a conspiracy theorist, but it's become real. 

LOL. All to well! It's amazing how we get, "Old to soon, smart to late". Those were the days my friend. /forums/images/graemlins/cool.gif /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif

P.S. to your p.s. Thanks.

1bush2hog · May 12, 2005

Give it a little time and I'm sure you will make the right decision on how to handle this.

I have a 17 year old, so I can relate. Just remember they think differently at that age because the prtion of the brain responsible for logic and reason does not fully develop until they are in their 20's.

This does not excuse the behavior or the need for consequences for their actions. There must be firm consequences!

I recently cancelled my son's cell phone service and grounded him from driving and going out - He really misses the cell phone!

I would like to beat the *** out of him sometimes too, but I have learned to wait at least 24 hours and then address the problem.

I might get some flack for this, but I also pray for my son and for the direction I need to be a good parent.

Good Luck!

riptides · May 12, 2005

( I might get some flack for this, but I also pray for my son and for the direction I need to be a good parent. )

None of us have all the answers, we learn until our time comes.

-Mike Z. /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Cactus · May 12, 2005

( I might get some flack for this, but I also pray for my son and for the direction I need to be a good parent. )

I think that is one of the best things you could do for your son and yourself.

Boondox · May 13, 2005

( my son trying to flip his step-mothers VW Beetle over with my FEL )

Well, that might be a great first car for him when he starts driving next year... /forums/images/graemlins/shocked.gif

ByronBob · May 13, 2005

It's easy for us to sit here and tell you what to do. Problem is only you know what's best. As a parent and looking at how parents manage their kids, whats right for me isn't necessarily right for you.
Whatever you do, make sure your son understands that this type of behavior isn't going to be tolerated any more. Tough love is just that.

slowzuki · May 13, 2005

Just a note from a younger fellow, I'm in my mid twenties and I have been fully aware of the consequenses of my actions since about age 10 or 12 or so. I can remember making poor decisions and knowing it at the time. My parents didn't let me make some excuse about being a kid.

At 16 years old if you can't be responsible for your actions, you shouldn't have responsiblities like driving.

Taylortractornut · May 13, 2005

Slowzuki im in my mid 20's to and from the time i was little to today I knew the difference between right and wrong lol. Wrong meant my tail end was tenderized by a belt leather or Fan ,garden hose, branch, extension cord, anything handy lol. still to this day I rent a room from dad but dont dare cross him lol.

Richard · May 15, 2005

( It may tear you up inside to have your son arrested, but a lesson needs to be learned )

I don't have kids so I should shut up. That said.... /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Sorry to hear the situation. I was a well behaved kid. So well behaved that when I took to shooting out my neighbors windows with a bb gun and got caught, my mom was almost HAPPY to see I had some of the spunk my peers had /forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif

Regarding arresting, if you chose to do it and can do so, have it done "unofficially" if possible.

My partner at work had a rambunctius son. Seems there was somd kind of family argument 10 years ago when he was a minor. The son threw/smashed a telephone. They called police, police came. upshot, they cuffed the son. My partner asked "what the (#$&* are you doing to my boy?"

Officer replied "new regulations dictate that if someone has a circumstance bad enough to call us in... then we are required to make an arrest"

Fast forward to today and the son has graduated from Rutgers with honors, heading into MBA program but is going to work with us for the summer so he thought he'd get his securities license.

Guess what cropped up? His arrest record. Since he was a minor it was supposed to be expunged from his record & it wasn't.

Caused a real snafu with us getting him registered, had to get an attorney involved, letters from the Chief of Police on their letterhead.....

The lesson they wanted to scare their son with that night, although it worked, ended up having other repercussions many years later that no one had any way to forsee. All for a $20 phone.

Fortunately it was US he was registering with, had it been a major brokerage firm, they might have looked on it with less understanding.

problem today is 100% fixed

Just a thought

plumboy · May 15, 2005

Might have been what got the kid on track.Lots of things to do,but do us(society) and be harsh and dont just pray for him.Youll be doing us and him an injust if you just slap his hand.