I think the main friction in this thread stems from the fact that folk are thinking that their thinking is the only line of thinking. "Newbies" honestly require input from all sources, ones that go big and ones that go small, and then they need to make their own decisions based on their own uses.
Take the 'tractor stability' bit on wider versus narrow grapples. Above someone said a wider grapple can make a tractor more unstable, but that is a blanket statement based on a specific set of uses and honestly doesn't always hold true. If you grab a long timber uncentered, it really doesn't matter how wide the grapple is as much as how uneven the weight is balanced. Any weight added by a wide grapple is evenly distributed, so doesn't affect the balance any at all. Same timber, balanced the same, but with a narrow grapple and start driving along with it and the heavy end is bouncing some due to terrain, those forces are much greater than they would be with a wider grapple supporting more of the timber; simply because more of the timber is sticking out to bounce around creating greater leverage forces. That being said, where the narrower grapple may allow more bouncing, the wider grapple will transfer more of those twisting forces into the FEL frame. Either can create an unstable situation. Centering up the load on a small grapple still allows more bouncing at the ends, but you can get a slightly heavier load with it. Heavier load with more bounce at the ends may not be a good thing. Whichever works best is, at best, a case by case basis. Which someone should choose, is totally up to them.
What about the "tines to grub up roots". Soil varies all over, as do the types of roots encountered. I've never heard EA saying you should be removing large tree stumps and deep roots with these things, what I've always heard discussed by EA is brush roots that are just below the sod. I think a lot of this argument is simply a case of the various loaders being built differently for different machines. I'm sure my loader on my 5000lbs tractor is built to take more pressure than my brother in law's 3000lbs tractor (both are 40HP). If someone goes plowing their FEL into stones and stumps and bends things, they should have read the manual for their FEL and understood the limitations. It is something that should be pointed out, but not argued about like it has been. Not all equipment is made equal, unless you have or have had the exact tractor as a person inquiring, you're clueless about what their risk level is on such tasks.
Above are ideal examples of why people need to simply state their own uses, opinions, likes, and dislikes and leave it at that. Try to keep in mind, a person thinks so highly of their opinion they feel they must dispute any other opinions, generally ends up disregarded in the end.