speeding on gravel road!!!!!
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EE_Bota
Veteran Member
forgeblast
Elite Member
I would not do anything to the road. If some thing happens they are going to go after the one person who maintains it.
cgraham
Silver Member
Tough situation and hard to find a good resolution: the outcome of any approach is unpredictable. The first step is to persuade the GM there is a problem. The best way to the kid is through her.
There have been some good suggestions, and choosing among them is difficult. But once you chart a course, you won't feel so frustrated because you know you are working on a solution.
In my opinion, this is not a problem that can be solved in a day. First you have to talk to GM, because you can't retaliate or take action against her GS without turning her against you - then your problems will be worse.
Have her over for a visit; my approach would be to tell her you have invited her because you are concerned about the safety of her GS. explain his dangerous driving and that of his older buddies, which is also infringing upon your tranquility. Try to be objective, not accusatory. Point out that it destroys the work you put into road maintenance at no charge to her.
Or you could wait a little and let the road get torn up before inviting her (ostensibly) to discuss the road condition. In this case you can explain why why you have given up on it - this makes your point much more strongly.
Instead of accusing her GS of this and that, tell her you are not only concerned about the road but about the GS's safety. This she will care about. Avoid accusations and judgmental statements: just explain what you observe - the GS and his buddies are driving crazy and tearing up the road: one of them is going to flip his vehicle. Plus you observe the GS is driving on public roads where (apparently) he is not qualified to be.
I think I would then suggest that these older guys are likely a bad influence on your GS, and you are concerned they will get him into real trouble (drugs, leads to theft). It is not clear to me that you have any firm evidence of any wrongdoing on their part: (is there real evidence they broke into GM's house and stole her jewelry, and does she accept that as true, or is that your reasonable conclusion?) Your remark about pot appeared to be speculation; if so, just say you fear the GS may be drawn into that sort of thing, which has its dangers. (No matter the details, the conversation is presented as about protecting the GS).
If it can reasonably be demonstrated to the GM that these kids were responsible for the theft (perhaps with the GS as an accessory) then the situation is much more serious because if they stole from her, they likely steal elsewhere (to fund drugs?), getting the GS into real trouble when caught. If the GM has already rejected the idea the kids were responsible, no use mentioning it.
This conversation (or conversations) will determine whether GM will cooperate in addressing the problems. If she is convinced, then you can offer to help bring this kid around, if you wish. She can insist on him meeting with you both (at the price of banning him from her home if he does not cooperate – I am not clear if he is living there, or just hanging out). Does he regard you as a threat yet?
Where you go from here is pretty much open to circumstances and discretion. The kid needs to understand that there are driving problems you are not going to tolerate (the other matters are not really your business, unless GM wants to involve you: better to address those after you make progress over driving, I think). You have to be friendly but firm; you may be able to get some leverage if you casually let him know what you can tell the cops if the two of you don’t get along (but don't play this card unless necessary).
If you are serious about mentoring him, maybe offer to teach him how to operate a tractor. He might see that as exciting. Putting him in charge of the road for a small wage might work wonders. Tell him what an experienced equipment operator can earn. He might like to learn to work on a car or tractor or build a dragster or something. You might look for some waste land where the kids can make donuts, rather than on your road and make it be known you will call the sheriff with license plate numbers if problems continue.
I would also look into the law controlling your shared private road to strengthen your position. Is it an easement solely for residents or is it considered a public right-of-way? If the former, trespass law may come into play if you post it with the legally required signs. If it is an easement across your property, a pair of speed bumps is OK: warning signs and a posted speed limit would reduce possible liability, and give you another reason to object to wild driving. I live on such a road I mostly maintain, and built shallow drainage ditches and berms no one has complained about (without them, the road will wash out).
Good luck! P.S. I am not a lawyer!
There have been some good suggestions, and choosing among them is difficult. But once you chart a course, you won't feel so frustrated because you know you are working on a solution.
In my opinion, this is not a problem that can be solved in a day. First you have to talk to GM, because you can't retaliate or take action against her GS without turning her against you - then your problems will be worse.
Have her over for a visit; my approach would be to tell her you have invited her because you are concerned about the safety of her GS. explain his dangerous driving and that of his older buddies, which is also infringing upon your tranquility. Try to be objective, not accusatory. Point out that it destroys the work you put into road maintenance at no charge to her.
Or you could wait a little and let the road get torn up before inviting her (ostensibly) to discuss the road condition. In this case you can explain why why you have given up on it - this makes your point much more strongly.
Instead of accusing her GS of this and that, tell her you are not only concerned about the road but about the GS's safety. This she will care about. Avoid accusations and judgmental statements: just explain what you observe - the GS and his buddies are driving crazy and tearing up the road: one of them is going to flip his vehicle. Plus you observe the GS is driving on public roads where (apparently) he is not qualified to be.
I think I would then suggest that these older guys are likely a bad influence on your GS, and you are concerned they will get him into real trouble (drugs, leads to theft). It is not clear to me that you have any firm evidence of any wrongdoing on their part: (is there real evidence they broke into GM's house and stole her jewelry, and does she accept that as true, or is that your reasonable conclusion?) Your remark about pot appeared to be speculation; if so, just say you fear the GS may be drawn into that sort of thing, which has its dangers. (No matter the details, the conversation is presented as about protecting the GS).
If it can reasonably be demonstrated to the GM that these kids were responsible for the theft (perhaps with the GS as an accessory) then the situation is much more serious because if they stole from her, they likely steal elsewhere (to fund drugs?), getting the GS into real trouble when caught. If the GM has already rejected the idea the kids were responsible, no use mentioning it.
This conversation (or conversations) will determine whether GM will cooperate in addressing the problems. If she is convinced, then you can offer to help bring this kid around, if you wish. She can insist on him meeting with you both (at the price of banning him from her home if he does not cooperate – I am not clear if he is living there, or just hanging out). Does he regard you as a threat yet?
Where you go from here is pretty much open to circumstances and discretion. The kid needs to understand that there are driving problems you are not going to tolerate (the other matters are not really your business, unless GM wants to involve you: better to address those after you make progress over driving, I think). You have to be friendly but firm; you may be able to get some leverage if you casually let him know what you can tell the cops if the two of you don’t get along (but don't play this card unless necessary).
If you are serious about mentoring him, maybe offer to teach him how to operate a tractor. He might see that as exciting. Putting him in charge of the road for a small wage might work wonders. Tell him what an experienced equipment operator can earn. He might like to learn to work on a car or tractor or build a dragster or something. You might look for some waste land where the kids can make donuts, rather than on your road and make it be known you will call the sheriff with license plate numbers if problems continue.
I would also look into the law controlling your shared private road to strengthen your position. Is it an easement solely for residents or is it considered a public right-of-way? If the former, trespass law may come into play if you post it with the legally required signs. If it is an easement across your property, a pair of speed bumps is OK: warning signs and a posted speed limit would reduce possible liability, and give you another reason to object to wild driving. I live on such a road I mostly maintain, and built shallow drainage ditches and berms no one has complained about (without them, the road will wash out).
Good luck! P.S. I am not a lawyer!
Mousefield
Veteran Member
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I used to have lots of problems with dirt bikes and ATV's roaring down our 1 lane winding gravel road and chewing it up. This road ends at our place. As I and our only neighbor at the time maintained it by using shovel/rake and getting the gravel in my trailer or his truck. It was back breaking work. I did a combination of things, I "patrolled" the road and talked to them about it being a private road and did they want to meet a car or truck head on while they were speeding down it. Visibility, when all the brush is out, makes it very difficult to see “around” corners, actually have been surprised there has never had a accident. Posted a number of signs "Private Property" and "Private Road". Also had a sign made up "End Of Public Road", that way I could asked them, which one did you miss? Also called the cops on a number of occasions, a couple of times I managed to follow the dirt bikes/ATV's home and then reported the address to the police. Took time but it has been really good the past few years. 
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Larry Caldwell
Elite Member
I think you are wasting your time with Grandma. She already raised kids so worthless they can't even take care of her grandson, and she obviously hasn't gotten any smarter as she got older. Grandma is a doormat who lets kids do anything they want, and you aren't going to change her. They best thing you can say is at least she isn't living in the gutter like the kid's parents.
I also wouldn't be displaying any guns or letting the neighbors inside your house if you want to keep your stuff. Druggies figure what is yours is theirs, and the grandson can see when nobody is home and knows your habits. I hope you have a good safe.
I also wouldn't be displaying any guns or letting the neighbors inside your house if you want to keep your stuff. Druggies figure what is yours is theirs, and the grandson can see when nobody is home and knows your habits. I hope you have a good safe.
jonyyuma
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This spot by Larry about sums it up for my ideas too...The thugs will eventually strike at you or your property, regardless of your intentions? I admired the drainage trench idea for a speed break on the road..It would get in pretty rough shape, before I smoothed it out again..Sorry, but bad neighbors are just that, reqardless of ages. I still believe I would follow-up on the underage driving and the alleged illegal activitys with the law?
radioman
Super Member
excuse me?! its possible the granny raised her kids right , but not able to raise thier own..... maybe thats why the kid is over at grannys for a straightening.
look guys - we gotta try to be positive until we try. we cant assume that every kid is not worth saving.
RobertBrown
Veteran Member
Yeeeeaaaa... OK! but how about saving the road first?
That's the matter at hand. The OP is concerned about his road in this thread. If he makes another thread about wayward boys then perhaps we will offer advice to that regard.
foreman Etexas
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My neighbor down the road has a rent house so we get all kinds next door. They come out the drive get on it,with there pipes and radios going but I remember being there at one time(im only 33),so I just let it slide. My boys maybe the ones doing it someday but I try and let them know its not right to bother others. The lady that owns the place is an animal rescue person and I cant wait until deer season starts,so I guess what im getting at,they do there thing and I do mine.
Take care of the road as you have,he will be in JAIL before you know it, and I wouldnt ask him to help you or pay him for anything,let him be.
Take care of the road as you have,he will be in JAIL before you know it, and I wouldnt ask him to help you or pay him for anything,let him be.