Signs of dementia

[Taylortractornut]

Hey guys how have the holidays been. As usual I need some advice. I think my dad has dementia or Alzheimer's. We work together at a rubbish landfill and never have gotten along all the time like most fathers and sons do. The last ten years I've done most of the hard work, mechanicing and all of the environmental work. Dad did the hiring firing and ran errands and trips to the main office and truck dispatch.

The last year or so I've noticed him slipping mentally, sending three trucks after the same dumpster, loosing things then accusing everyone of stealing that item. The other day my eldest brother that's 52 had a stroke. And was in a hospital my younger brother and mother used to be nurses at. Dad's demanding I call my brother and Check on my older brother. He hasn't worked there on 6 years. We argue over it dads calling me a liar then says call your mother and get her to check. My parents have been divorced for ten years and moms been dead for three.

I reminded him mom was deceased and he claims I just talked to her 4 or 5 days ago. I was floored to say the least. I asked him to go get chrome he'd for Alzheimer's and he swears his np says he doesn't have it or dementia. But the last few days have been unbearable the abuse he's doling out. I've taken over most of the dispatch but dad still insists on changing my drivers up.

Last week was our week off for Christmas And a couple of us and myself go in while we re down and do maintenance like we've done for 13 years. Well my brother that contracts excavation for the main plant was doing some demo work and hit a snag and wasn't going to make the deadline. I took my crew and helped get back on schedule and complete the job. I logged 89 hours and my crew about 72 yet he complains we didn't work hard enough.

We were off till the 3rd and I took that day. Dad comes in and goes off because I wasn't onsite. Then calls the whole crew asking why they weren't at work. I had to explain to him that we were off that day too. Not five minutes later I had to tell him again. I'm frustrated and worried at the same time. There's more things that happen I'm torn between calling HR and the feeling of betraying my dad. Does this sound like dementia or Alzheimer's or something else.

 

[MossRoad]

Sorry for your troubles. Its no fun dealing with that. We're on the same path with a family member. I'd suggest reading this, then talking to your family doctor for advice.

Know the 1 Signs of Alzheimer's Disease

 

[zzvyb6]

Could be very low on all the B vitamins. Shots are usualy prescribed, although Red Bull drink has a lot. Otherwise, I can put cream in the sugar bowl and complain about the taste of the coffee, put the mail in the refridgerator, and other things that drive us nuts. "Where did I put that UPS delivery ?" With a shot of the Bs, I'm good to go for a week.

This sounds like a short term memory issue. How is he with memories from the past ? Could just be stress about something else, too. Something he doesn't want you to know about (like health issues). Chemical poisoning from materials on site ? Cancer ? Blood and tissue tests will reveal a lot on this.

Be kind to him and know when its time to retire.

 

[k0ua]

We are also dealing with this, but in a much less serious way here in the home.. I really feel for you, but you know what you are up against, and it is not going to get any better.

Dementia is a bunch of symptoms that can be caused by other things besides Alzheimer's which is a specific disease, But either way, you have a hard road ahead. I wish you the best of luck for you and your whole family.

 

[comancheflight]

My father in law passed away from dymensia on Thanksgiving day 2 years ago. It turned him into someone he was not. Anger, cursing and still, in his mind, could do anything but yet pretty much ruined anything he touched. The worst was taking his car keys.
Anyway, it is a terrible thing for all involved and wish you the best.
If this is what he has the only words of encouragement is it will get better and in time this will fade and the man you knew will live forever in your memory

 

[jeff9366]

It is time to make preliminary contact with your local Hospice organization.

 

[MinnesotaEric]

Hey guys how have the holidays been. As usual I need some advice. I think my dad has dementia or Alzheimer's. We work together at a rubbish landfill and never have gotten along all the time like most fathers and sons do. The last ten years I've done most of the hard work, mechanicing and all of the environmental work. Dad did the hiring firing and ran errands and trips to the main office and truck dispatch.

The last year or so I've noticed him slipping mentally, sending three trucks after the same dumpster, loosing things then accusing everyone of stealing that item. The other day my eldest brother that's 52 had a stroke. And was in a hospital my younger brother and mother used to be nurses at. Dad's demanding I call my brother and Check on my older brother. He hasn't worked there on 6 years. We argue over it dads calling me a liar then says call your mother and get her to check. My parents have been divorced for ten years and moms been dead for three.

I reminded him mom was deceased and he claims I just talked to her 4 or 5 days ago. I was floored to say the least. I asked him to go get chrome he'd for Alzheimer's and he swears his np says he doesn't have it or dementia. But the last few days have been unbearable the abuse he's doling out. I've taken over most of the dispatch but dad still insists on changing my drivers up.

Last week was our week off for Christmas And a couple of us and myself go in while we re down and do maintenance like we've done for 13 years. Well my brother that contracts excavation for the main plant was doing some demo work and hit a snag and wasn't going to make the deadline. I took my crew and helped get back on schedule and complete the job. I logged 89 hours and my crew about 72 yet he complains we didn't work hard enough.

We were off till the 3rd and I took that day. Dad comes in and goes off because I wasn't onsite. Then calls the whole crew asking why they weren't at work. I had to explain to him that we were off that day too. Not five minutes later I had to tell him again. I'm frustrated and worried at the same time. There's more things that happen I'm torn between calling HR and the feeling of betraying my dad. Does this sound like dementia or Alzheimer's or something else.

No matter how much you're yelled at accused of being wrong when you're right, refuse to take it personally. If possible, ask your father why is verbally abusive? What is the point? Does your father believe you're making things up? What would your father do if you did X? What would he do? If your father is lucid enough, you may be able to use this calm (from your side) discussion to get him to see a physician.

That said, your father should be noticing that he is slipping and should go in and be checked out. Perhaps he is suffering from vascular dementia or something like harry cell leukemia that makes him anemic leading to literally not enough oxygen to the mind (my oldest sister has this). Anyway, get your father checked out.

 

[bindian]

That's what it sounds like to me. Years ago, Dad said something about the month. I said it was November. To which he replied...................."what happened to October?" The following May we checked him into a nursing home, after getting a pace maker. It's tough on you because they will deny it. It is hard to convince them to go get checked out.
hugs, Brandi

 

[mapper]

I feel for you and what your going through, we have had several family members that had dementia. This will try your patience and understanding to the limit. You always have to remember that this is a disease and they are not doing just to be mean or to upset you. In many cases they are somewhat aware that something is not right but do not know what it is and tend to lash out because of it.
There are some good dementia support groups that can help you understand and cope with this, it is never easy.
We will all hold you in our thoughts, please feel free to vent to all of your friends on TBN, we will do our best to lend you moral support and kind words.

 

[Streetcar]

He needs to go to doctor, many things can cause memory issues. Good luck with dad. Do not take complaints personally

 

[Taylortractornut]

Kinda hard not too. When your whole company wants to walk out. He uses his neighbor that's an NP as his main dr. My opinion on that is she's a quack. And he refuses to go to another His wife says there's nothing wrong with him but more or less I think she doesn't want the paycheck to end.


Common sense things are getting worse. I have a truck that's out of service due to a rollover and he got it in his head to use it to swap dumpsters on the yard instead of dumping them directly from the truck that hauls them. Saying it won't take anymore people or time.

I actually had to disable it the other day. The insurance and tag has been dropped for six months. I meet the new hire in it taking a dumpster to the plant. Dad sent him in it. It's the drivers fault to the truck has no turn lights. Bad tires and a host of other wreck damage. He can't see that. I hate to get him fired. But I'm worried he's gonna either not make it to work or kill someone. He admitted to going to town last week getting a mile from home and nothing looked the same. To the point he pulled over for an hour.


No one rides with him at work now because he's dangerous to ride with. he gets offended by it. Dads never had a business sense and pissed Away Two fortunes. I'm on the other hand cautious with my money because I'd like to retire one day. He started trying to sell me his personal truck. I care nothing for it I like my old paid for Dodge. He started calling me a cheap @$$ in front of the other workers because I won't give 17000 for his truck. I'm almost debt free at 37. He lays claim to anything he finds here at my place. I've had to lock things up that I haven't had to before.

 

[hturner12]

Since he want to to a different Dr, is there any way you rouse a company requirement that all employees must have a new physical but have him the only one that actual get the physical. Maybe have several guys actual go thru the process but no physical

 

[coldsteelva]

I'm sorry you're dealing with this. I kind of like the company requirement thing; maybe he will go for it. A quality physical from an MD would be able to rule out physiological problems (heart/nutrition) that may be the source of the issues.

When I have dealt with dementia/Alzheimers folks, I find it best to get them first thing during the morning that they wake up. That is the point at which their lucid mind was sharpest. You may be able to get better cooperation during that window.If no such window occurs first thing in the morning, I'm sorry to say it may already be too late.

 

[Luke'sScreenName]

I deal with Primary Care Providers all the time. Some of the best ones are NPs. However, there are lots of ineffective PCPs (both NP and MD).

I would also stress that there are reversable causes of dementia. He need to see a geriatric specialist or neurologist. Getting him there will be a problem. I see this frequently and it sucks.

 

[hawkeye08]

Sorry you are going through this, sending prayers your way, some good advice already given... need to figure out a way to get a competent doctor to have a look.

 

[polo1665]

Can't say much more than the others have here. My mom has Alzheimer's, came on slowly for her. Starting out she had a hard time finding the word she was looking for, now her short term memory is pretty well shot. Still remembers all the kids though, so there's that. The whole situation scares the crap out of me. Hard to watch this happen to her.

Give your dad as much support and love as you can muster. Get him to a decent doctor. Like the others have said, could be something else causing the problem.

 

[k0ua]

Can't say much more than the others have here. My mom has Alzheimer's, came on slowly for her. Starting out she had a hard time finding the word she was looking for, now her short term memory is pretty well shot. Still remembers all the kids though, so there's that. The whole situation scares the crap out of me. Hard to watch this happen to her.

Give your dad as much support and love as you can muster. Get him to a decent doctor. Like the others have said, could be something else causing the problem.

The above description is where My wifes mom is at now, only she is having a little trouble remembering some of the grand children. She is also having trouble telling the difference with the switches that turn on the lights in the garage, and the push buttons that open and close the garage door. She has done this several times. She just cant remember anything that she is taught. It all goes in one ear and out the other. It all starts out with such small mistakes, but they grow larger over time

 

[Big Barn]

It's very difficult for you to be objective. Regardless of WHAT is wrong with your father, he needs help and the situation in the short term is NOT going to get better.

IMO you are morally obligated to at the very least, report your concerns to the company. Your father's, as well of the well being and safety of you and your co-workers is at stake.

I see elderly confused motorists who shouldn't be on the road often. I've given instruction to MY daughter to report me to DMV if I EVER display erratic behaviour.

I know I won't like it at the time, but I have enough common sense to realize the value of my wishes while I am still "somewhat" mentally competent.

Terry

 

[flusher]

My SIL is a neurologist and talking to him I'm impressed how difficult it usually is to determine exactly what disease is behind the symptoms. This is especially true for Parkinson's and Alzheimer's.
My son's FIL age 79 was initially diagnosed with Parkinson's. Now the diagnosis is Lewy Body Dementia.

 

[CCWKen]

No matter what you think may be hard on you now, love them while you can. Went through a terrible time with my dad until he passed away in 2010. By that time he didn't know who any of us were and THAT scared him. You could see it in his eyes. I even have a scar on my forehead from when he hatchet-chopped me with a dresser mirror. Still, a good hug and "I love you, Dad" had a more calming effect than any drug did. You need to get him to a doctor before the violence gets worse. And typically, it will. And be sure to remove all access to firearms if they're in the house. There's not a day that goes by that I look at the picture on the wall and wish he was here. The good memories far outweigh the bad. It was hard to see a WWII hero go down like that.