Parents with dementia, how dealing with that has gone.

[Complete Turf Care]

When my parents moved into an assisted living facility, we hired a professional estate sale person to sell all their stuff. This was after family had gone through everything and taken what they wanted.

The estate sale person kept about 40% of the money they collected. I thought that was fair, because they did a lot of work to set it all up and advertise the event. There were a few things left over, and we ended up giving it to a church.

 

[ArlyA]

After this garage sale, the house will be on the market and sold asap. We've not had a vacation in nearly 2 years. I'm retired but dearest still works.

 

[ArlyA]

We are finally on our way home. House sorta cleaned out and a cleaning service will be there's is week. Garage full of items to take home or for sale. Be back in a few weeks....
B

 

[ArlyA]

On the way back we looked at and purchased a used, 2022 7x16 pace enclosed trailer. We'll head back up to grab items dearest wanted with it and sell here locally a few things we couldn't move at the garage sale in Ely MN. That garage sale there was rather poor.

 

[ultrarunner]

On the way back we looked at and purchased a used, 2022 7x16 pace enclosed trailer. We'll head back up to grab items dearest wanted with it and sell here locally a few things we couldn't move at the garage sale in Ely MN. That garage sale there was rather poor.

I’ve got the same trailer and works well for me.

 

[ArlyA]

All this is marks the end of a 3+ year decent her folks did into dementia*. Her mom went into dementia* 1st while her dad became her primary caregiver. More than a year ago he told my spouse "I'm not sure I can care for your mom much longer", then a few months later after being moved into assisted living memory care unit, started to tell everyone who would listen "They moved us into here against our will! They are stealing our $$! They won't let me care for her at home anymore!" and some believed this without understanding he was slipping into the D. This was a living hell on my spouse who was traveling up there every month at the start, then every few weeks near the end. She took months off her work and its a full days drive up there and the reason we got her a new car to get there. Sad they are gone but the living with dementia is hell on its own.

* had many other heath issues not mentioned.

 

[MossRoad]

Hopefully they are now at peace and your wife and you have some relief they are no longer suffering. It's hard. My wife's mom is slowing down and has no ambition to make herself stronger. She's just giving up.

 

[ArlyA]

I should add that the people who are descending into the fog of dementia, see the worst of it.

 

[Snobdds]

I would worry that your spouse had two parents with dementia.

Really worry...

 

[ArlyA]

Here is a side note, I found difficult to write.

After my mother-in-law passed in the fall, my spouse wanted to move her dad to the next building, that allow more freedom than the memory unit did. While packing his stuff up, she found a stack of legal documents and she read through some of the pages but couldn't made any sense of it. She also spied a hand written note from "Diane" that was a thing to do list for her dad that included "Speak with your attorney and put me on your will. take kids off. Give Diane power of attorney". My spouse had no idea who this was and that afternoon, started to check around town and quickly figured out who she was. She was slightly older than my spouse and had moved back to town a few years ago. So she was known by family name, but never an acquaintance of any family member but had been stopped my to see Ray.

As stated above, Ray was telling everyone who would listen "The kids moved us here against our will! They are stealing our $$! They won't let me care for her at home anymore!"

Next she called the attorney and no shock, knew of this Diane. She had given this stack of papers to Ray to go through and give her office anything that should be updated and also said "without everyone on the papers signing off, the will can't be changed. Ray has been stopping by and calling my staff so much, we had to give him that stack of papers so he had something to do"

For not informing the family members of this action, we lost much confidence in her......

Diane did show up to her moms funeral and wanted to fight with the kids.............

Sorry for the long post!