Parents with dementia, how dealing with that has gone.

[ArlyA]

Got home late past night and its basically a days drive to where they are... A week there is all I can take. Its been a roller coaster of emotions but of course harder on my spouse. But its hardest yet on the in-laws who are loosing there freedom (no more car) and house. He is lucid about 1/3 the time and can not comprehend why his Buick can't "just be parked it here". My spouse has taken 1.5 months off but was luckily PTO.

 

[Sigarms]

To to OP, sorry you're having to do it.

Been there done that, but in some aspects is was easier on our end as we moved my dad down from Pa to NC around 2018 to live with us, and we had time to work on our own little by little by taking time going up to Pa to take care of his house.

What I do know from the entire process is that my wife now only wants to downsize when we move, and that includes the clutter in our current home.

 

[Tinhack]

I'd like to downsize but I don't know where to put it.

 

[ArlyA]

We found a couple hundred letters that my dad sent to his parents during WWII. I also found my dad's free Indiana lifetime hunting,fishing and trapping license that WWII veterans got. I never knew anything about that and thought it was odd since he never did much fishing except on our pond where you didn't need a license. The only hunting he did was to shoot rabbits from the combine when combining wheat for a fried rabbit dinner.

The last of my folks passed in the fall and I asked for my uncles belongings they had who died in a B-17 in the north sea. Arlyn Curtis Aronson

 

[tradosaurus]

 

[dodge man]

Arly I dealt with that with my parents. My dad had something called Lewy Body and my mom Alzheimer’s. Luckily as they got older they got rid of a lot of stuff as they moved and downsized and then we gave away most of the rest. It’s very sad for them and you guys too but do what you have to do. When my mom died she was in an Alzheimer’s care unit and you could have fit all her possessions in a single suitcase. At that point she didn’t know what was going on.

 

[ArlyA]

Heading back up on Saturday to see them and bring her dad to a doc appointment on Monday. Looking at moving them into a place here. Not impressed with where they are now.....

 

[MossRoad]

A lot easier on all of you if they are closer and in a nicer place.

 

[2manyrocks]

I will say from personal experience that you want them close enough that you can regularly check on them.

 

[ArlyA]

No surprise, its more complicated than simply moving them. There doc's are there and so are friends plus its a all day drive to here.. We'll keep you posted.