Most of these critiques of a 3pt mount backhoe is true of every piece of equipment if not used properly...sometimes it's true even if you DO use it properly! "You can break..." "You can overstress..." "You can lift up and drop..."
I have used a 3pt mount backhoe (BL4690) on a commercial basis while mounted to my
B7800 tractor. I have trenched in VERY hard soil, I have lifted, I have dug, I have dropped, I have done things not recommended by the manual (not on purpose necessarily but it happens) and I never broke one thing. The digging force on the 3pt mounts are not too dissimilar than the subframe mounts. Of course I absolutely used the reinforced top link and it's easy to see how it spreads the extraordinary loads of the backhoe over more points.
I dug up over 200 trees on a field for a customer recently. They weren't massive oaks but they were the same ones I'd been happy to tackled with a subframe mount backhoe on a similar size tractor. I've dug up trees with rootballs that ended up being bigger than my bucket. It's all about strategy, planning and properly using leverage. There have been times when I can't believe the backhoe DIDN'T break the tractor. Things happen, roots break, you forget to re-set the outriggers, etc. I did all those things and more at one time or another. Just two weeks ago, I dug several cedars (soft wood but BIG trees) over 35ft tall. I started popping the small roots first and worked my way into the main trunk. Rocked it loose by pushing and pulling with the backhoe, then finished it off with the loader. The loader couldn't even lift the root ball but I could sure push it all to the burn pile!
I will forever be a champion of Kubota's excellent engineering on their 3pt mount backhoes. Obviously I can't speak to other brands but if you buy one to use how and within which it was intended, you can't go wrong in my opinion.