Kids and Cell Phones

/ Kids and Cell Phones #61  
I'll visit with Katrina and get details.
Curious to hear this as well. We have been thinking of setting up one of our old smartphones up for emergencies when a babysitter is watching the kids, or when our oldest gets matures enough to watch their siblings, but I want to know what they are doing on the phone and where they are at all times.

Aaron Z
 
/ Kids and Cell Phones #62  
Did take a real stupid pic my one boy wanted me to take of him a couple of years ago (I argued with him it was so stupid I didn't want to, but he convinced me). He gets embarrassed and mad if I go and show it to anyone years later. That's my reminder to him to NEVER EVER photo yourself with a phone and share the pic with a friend. You will NEVER EVER know where it can end up over time.
My policy is to NEVER take a picture that I would be uncomfortable to have sent to all my contacts.
If you don't take it, it can't be used to blackmail you.

Aaron Z
 
/ Kids and Cell Phones #63  
You羆*e right. I need to talk to the coach.

Having had kids whose coaches didn't respect the schedule, I'd show up at practice at the scheduled ending time and wait. After the third time, I let it go 15 minutes past, then called my kids over to the car and off we go. Sorry coach, we also have a schedule to keep.

That works well for late practices. However, if the coach calls practice off early, it's the coach's responsibility to stay there until the last kid is picked up. We had one coach that left my kid at a diamond alone for about 45 minutes. I had some words with that coach, and his supervisors. That's the last time that happened. I made some suggestions about keeping to a set schedule, the fairness to the parents and kids, the coach committed to the job so stick to the commitment, the importance of coaching kids in life-lessons, not just the sport, etc... these things can usually be worked out, but as a parent, you have to nip it in the bud as soon as you see a pattern forming. In a nutshell, coach, your schedule is no more or no less important than our schedule. It needs to be kept.

If coach needs to alter practice times, he/she has to give parents notice, and it should be days in advance, not during school that afternoon, or during the practice. It's a matter of respect that goes both ways. Coaches doesn't leave kids hanging and parents don't leave coaches hanging.

I also had the opportunity to coach girls grade school softball several years. So I know what it's like from both sides of the issue.

The whole key is mutual respect between coaches and parents. We all have busy lives. Cooperate.

As for your cell phone issues, I got little to help you with, as times have changed quickly. We got our oldest kid a pay-per-minute phone back then. 150 minutes or 300 texts per month (they can do that in a day now). No data. Wasn't needed back then. Next kid comes along 5 years later, and we now need data. So we got that one a WIFI only data phone, with unlimited text and voice. No data over cell service, as that was too expensive.

Today, price is not the issue. I have 5 lines with unlimited data, text, voice for $139 a month. That's 93 cents per day, per line. Dirt cheap for having instant access to parents, siblings, emergency services, the library, maps, all the information ever known to man right in your pocket.

The issue is how to teach the young kids responsibility with instant access to every questionable neighborhood in town, and how to deal with the peer pressure that will happen. That takes some meaningful talks between parents and the kids.

Basically, (and this is what we did, take it or leave it) we told our kids that they can do anything they want to do, as long as they don't give us any reason to take the privileges away. They can write their own ticket. That included doing their best in school, responsible use of the cell phone, responsible use of their finances, honesty, integrity, etc... Our kids had no curfew. They could borrow the car anytime they wanted. They could go out with friends. They could bring friends over. Call us if someone starts drinking/doing drugs. We'll come get you. Just be honest with themselves and think about how their actions will affect their lives and the lives of others.

It worked out well for both of our kids. They were a lot less trouble to us than I was to my parents, that's for sure! :rolleyes:
 
/ Kids and Cell Phones #64  
I also had to question a "dirtyoldman kids and cell phones" thread... YIKES! :laughing:
 
/ Kids and Cell Phones #66  
I also had to question a "dirtyoldman kids and cell phones" thread... YIKES! :laughing:

I was gonna say it yesterday but I knew someone else would do it...

:laughing:
 
/ Kids and Cell Phones #67  
I'll visit with Katrina and get details.

Please do.

The issue we had was we bought refurbished iPhones (only way to buy a phone is refurbished IMO, $100 pretty much for a new iPhone, when mine finally dies, way I'll do it). The issue is accessing through the sercurity measures on the phone from a third party software program.

Pretty simple, you're the parents and you have a right to access all info off that phone. Problem is in the business world of selling phones, it's more complicated. Software my wife looked at couldn't get past some of the security measures on the iPhone.

Worst case, what you can do is access the phone as long as you have all passwords.

Better or worse, it comes down to trust and hope you're there when they could screw up.

What we were hoping for is accessing the phone "per spot checks" to see what is being accessed with the phone without actually having to "take the phone".

My one boys friend talked about how kids buy cheap phones and can ditch them. I'm too far behind the times as I can't even think why you'd want a "disposable" phone (don't get me wrong, I know why you'd want a throw away phone, but generally it's not because it's a good lifestyle IMO). That's exactly why when I found that one phone on my boy and it was his friends phone, his friend told him to destroy the phone instead of letting his parents know by giving it back to the to give to his parents.
 
/ Kids and Cell Phones #68  
Please do.



My one boys friend talked about how kids buy cheap phones and can ditch them. I'm too far behind the times as I can't even think why you'd want a "disposable" phone (don't get me wrong, I know why you'd want a throw away phone, but generally it's not because it's a good lifestyle IMO). That's exactly why when I found that one phone on my boy and it was his friends phone, his friend told him to destroy the phone instead of letting his parents know by giving it back to the to give to his parents.


Those kids may be a little more entrepreneurial than you think.

“burner phone”

Burner (mobile application) - Wikipedia
 
/ Kids and Cell Phones #69  
I searched for "burner phone" in youtube. Take a look at the results. I think I see where your kids learn this stuff.

burner phone - YouTube
 
/ Kids and Cell Phones #70  
I had one "Big Deal" rule with my 4 kids, Don't Ever Lie to me ,we had a couple of tests over time but, all in all, it worked and they all turned out great. More importantly, their kids have all turned out great.

When my kids were growing up there were no cell phones but as they got older,
the deal back then was having a phone in their room.We let them but it wasn't a separate line, just an extension of our land line.There were very few problems and they were taken care of by the #1 basic rule of honesty.

I think that the best way to judge your kids, after they are grown up, is to listen to their kids. I hear my Grands say, in the course of conversation, "My Dad, or Mom, and I did this or said this" always in a good way, this means ,to me, the parents did a good job because the kids respect them.I think this all goes back to the honesty thing from the beginning.

Though our kids always had extra-curricular activities, there were very few, if any,problems with scheduling. Maybe just because it was a simpler world back then but I can't help but think it was also more honest.
 
/ Kids and Cell Phones #71  
I had one "Big Deal" rule with my 4 kids, Don't Ever Lie to me ,we had a couple of tests over time but, all in all, it worked and they all turned out great. More importantly, their kids have all turned out great.

My first work flip phone was in 1999 that the company picked up the tab for.

The reality, time and technology is moving so fast over the last 20 years that it's kind of crazy IMO to compare phones with kids even in the last 10 years and what's going on with them.
 
/ Kids and Cell Phones
  • Thread Starter
#72  
Well it痴 definitely time to talk to the coach. Practice is supposed to go until six every night. They got done at 5 o団lock today. No idea until 5pm when she called. I was in Chicago on business and my wife gets off work at 5 o団lock and has a decent commute. Apparently they waited for 40 minutes until a teacher offered to give her a ride home rather than wait longer.
 
/ Kids and Cell Phones #73  
Well it痴 definitely time to talk to the coach. Practice is supposed to go until six every night. They got done at 5 o団lock today. No idea until 5pm when she called. I was in Chicago on business and my wife gets off work at 5 o団lock and has a decent commute. Apparently they waited for 40 minutes until a teacher offered to give her a ride home rather than wait longer.

I'm surprised in this day and age that a teacher would put themselves at risk of transporting a child and/or the possibility of being alone with a child in just about any situation unless they had a prior agreement with the student's parents, kid in the same class, or some sort of student transportation agreement with the school, etc... glad she got a ride. ;)

When I coached girls' 7-8 grade softball, I had a married coupe that assisted me. The 3 of us held a parents/players meeting first of every season. One year we had 19 girls on the team, ages 12-15. We told the parents start and stop practice times. And that they were not to drop the kids off early unless two coaches were there, and if they were late at pickup, they were holding up two coaches. Also, if our assistant female coach could not attend practice (job/family reasons), we'd request that a female parent would volunteer to stay for the entire practice. If one could not, we would cancel practice for that day. Some parents got kinda miffed at that. So we explained... 1st, we didn't want to be put in a potentially compromising situation with your daughter. 2nd, we didn't want your daughter being put into an uncomfortable situation with us. Some parents required yet further explanation... OK... your 12-15 year old might start her adult female bodily reproductive functions for the first time while in our care. Do you want me (points finer at self) helping her through that the first time, or one of her friend's moms helping her through that??? 'Wide-eyed' looks from many... then a collective head nod of understanding. Complete agreement and many volunteers over the years. Just bring a lawn chair and a book. :thumbsup:

I did give a few rides to a few players over the years, but only with my daughter in the car with us and only with a phone call to the parents with approval before leaving. Sounds creepy, but no way was I gonna put myself or one of my coaches in that situation. That's just the way it is now. :rolleyes:
 
/ Kids and Cell Phones #74  
I did just the opposite and am glad I did.
I gave my daughter her first cell phone when she was five years old for security reasons it could speed dial 911 or me.

She experienced not of the bad effects of cell phone usage but did secure stronger friendships for the long term. As kids moved on she was able to keep in touch and now has friends all ove the world that were in her classes and move to other locations.

Next she used her phone as a portable library at her finger tips. Her young mind was like a sponge. I believe the phone helped he take all advance placement classes in school. Those classes were actual college courses being taught in high school and she got college credit wheh sh went to college.

Then there was the security issues. If she needed to be picked up early, she called. If she was late at scholl because of work, she called, if she went somewhere she called when she arrived, She called when sh was leaving, etc etc etc. Each and every call she made made me feel better and more relaxed.

Think about it. Once they leave the door and they don't have a phone you as a parent gets to worry yourself sick till they arrive home. For me, I got updates. Now even as n adult when she goes out with the office for a celebration and had a beer or two - I get the call and am her "designad driver" rather than he driving "tipsy"

I would't give up everything I have enjoyed for all the things anyone can come up with against phones. Phones are a MUST for children.

Her knowledge continued to grow, with high SAT scores she was offered scholoaships all ove the country - full ride.

She now is a NBC news producer and got the job because she was literate high tech in a large part because of the phone. If she needed an answer she researched it and got the knolege she needed.

Keeping a phone from a child is a waste of time in my opinion. A phone will not cause nor will it stop any of the things you fear. What you are doing is allowing other kids to make fun of your kids and you are also making your kids inferior to their peers.

No child wants to tell their peers "I can't have a phone because my dad won't let me" That's when the teasing starts.
 
/ Kids and Cell Phones #75  
I'm surprised in this day and age that a teacher would put themselves at risk of transporting a child and/or the possibility of being alone with a child in just about any situation unless they had a prior agreement with the student's parents, kid in the same class, or some sort of student transportation agreement with the school, etc... glad she got a ride. ;)

ALWAYS two adults with one child if neither adult is a parent of that child.

Honestly, guess I should consider ourselves lucky. The only real reason why we need to have the kids have a phone is because of the activity bus and there is a game / meet away. Genearlly the bus may stop and get some food on the way back, and the timing can vary by up to an hour, which I really can't blame them for.
 
/ Kids and Cell Phones #76  
I see it as a societal change brought because of cell phones. When there was no way to call and tell people when you豎*e done you had to make plans ahead of time and just stick to them. This is definitely not the kids fault but my choice not to let them have cell phones is causing them some real difficulties.

I am a retired 登ld Fart but back in my day, we had a way of contacting parents when a ride was needed if it wasn稚 a set time. They knew where we were, and we went to the pay phone, called collect(didn稚 need money for that) mom or dad would refuse the charges and then just come pick us up.
 

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