Kids and Cell Phones

[downsizingnow48]

OP has identified the problem, which is the coach. Doesn't want to deal with that. OP has also identified the work around, a cell phone. Doesn't want to deal with that. The present circumstances are difficult for him and the child. Doesn't want to deal with that. Not sure what is the point here.

 

[ovrszd]

I see it as a societal change brought because of cell phones. When there was no way to call and tell people when youæ±*e done you had to make plans ahead of time and just stick to them. This is definitely not the kids fault but my choice not to let them have cell phones is causing them some real difficulties.

Yeah, that would be my concern as well. We live in a tech world. Kids without the ability to participate are immediately behind.

All three of my Grand Daughters are issued Laptop Computers at the beginning of the school year. They do their homework and turn in their assignments electronically on that Laptop. Even the 10yr old. That's just the World we are in now. It's advancing at lightning speed. Any decision that limits the kid's ability to keep up with this advancement should be scrutinized carefully.

 

[ovrszd]

Seems to me from a post here that you can limit certain things they can do with the cellphone, why not get them a phone and adjust what they can do with it and still be able to supervise what they do on it.. I think cell phones are important these days and with proper supervision they are very useful..

Our Daughter uses all of these tools with her three daughters. She has complete access to their phones electronically. Knows where the phone is all the time. If Mom calls Daughter answers the phone. No excuses. No freebies. Violate the rules and punishment is swift and harsh. One time it was family laundry duty for two weeks, including folding and putting away.

The instrument isn't the problem.

 

[k0ua]

Yeah, that would be my concern as well. We live in a tech world. Kids without the ability to participate are immediately behind.

All three of my Grand Daughters are issued Laptop Computers at the beginning of the school year. They do their homework and turn in their assignments electronically on that Laptop. Even the 10yr old. That's just the World we are in now. It's advancing at lightning speed. Any decision that limits the kid's ability to keep up with this advancement should be scrutinized carefully.

I thought about weighing in on this, but you have stated it far better than I could have.

 

[Bikewanderer]

You have a legitimate complaint in regards to the sports Coach specifically.

I can't stretch my thoughts about this far enough to make the connection that it's caused by Cell Phones.

OP has identified the problem, which is the coach. Doesn't want to deal with that. OP has also identified the work around, a cell phone. Doesn't want to deal with that. The present circumstances are difficult for him and the child. Doesn't want to deal with that. Not sure what is the point here.

Youæ±*e right. I need to talk to the coach.

 

[atsah]

Our Daughter uses all of these tools with her three daughters. She has complete access to their phones electronically. Knows where the phone is all the time. If Mom calls Daughter answers the phone. No excuses. No freebies. Violate the rules and punishment is swift and harsh. One time it was family laundry duty for two weeks, including folding and putting away.

The instrument isn't the problem.

Sounds about right...

 

[Bikewanderer]

Our Daughter uses all of these tools with her three daughters. She has complete access to their phones electronically. Knows where the phone is all the time. If Mom calls Daughter answers the phone. No excuses. No freebies. Violate the rules and punishment is swift and harsh. One time it was family laundry duty for two weeks, including folding and putting away.

The instrument isn't the problem.

Don稚 you think this is a bit weird? Your daughter monitors her childrens every movement and knows everywhere they go. Not allowed to think because mom does it for them. In exchange mom does all the housework. Cooks dinner every night and scrub toilets, does everybody痴 laundry. Works her butt off being a servant to the family and then runs around all night taking kids to sports practices and games.

I知 not picking on your daughter specifically. This is the societal norm. Don稚 tell me I知 the only one that thinks this is messed up. I think kids need to be allowed to be kids. They need to be given limits and responsibilities and expected to live up to them. They need to be given opportunities to fail and learn the lessons necessary for success next time and learn that there are consequences also.

This might surprise you but kids are a lot different now than they used to be. They don稚 go out with friends nearly as often. They don稚 drive as early or as often. They don稚 even drink or do drugs nearly as often as our generations did. Cars are safer now. The world is a safer place now. Yet somehow our kids aren稚 allowed to play past the backyard or be outside the range of a cell phone and would rather sit indoors on Snapchat where theyæ±*e safe.

 

[ovrszd]

I thought about weighing in on this, but you have stated it far better than I could have.

That's a very generous comment coming from a man that's light years ahead of me technologically. Thanks James.

 

[ovrszd]

Don稚 you think this is a bit weird? Your daughter monitors her childrens every movement and knows everywhere they go. Not allowed to think because mom does it for them. In exchange mom does all the housework. Cooks dinner every night and scrub toilets, does everybody痴 laundry. Works her butt off being a servant to the family and then runs around all night taking kids to sports practices and games.

I知 not picking on your daughter specifically. This is the societal norm. Don稚 tell me I知 the only one that thinks this is messed up. I think kids need to be allowed to be kids. They need to be given limits and responsibilities and expected to live up to them. They need to be given opportunities to fail and learn the lessons necessary for success next time and learn that there are consequences also.

This might surprise you but kids are a lot different now than they used to be. They don稚 go out with friends nearly as often. They don稚 drive as early or as often. They don稚 even drink or do drugs nearly as often as our generations did. Cars are safer now. The world is a safer place now. Yet somehow our kids aren稚 allowed to play past the backyard or be outside the range of a cell phone and would rather sit indoors on Snapchat where theyæ±*e safe.

No offense taken on anything you are saying. I hope you don't take offense at my ramblings either. This is a good topic and a good discussion.

Our Daughter doesn't track the girls to limit them in any way. It's a tool used to teach them rules. To teach them acceptable behavior. And most important to give a little extra protection from the creeps that exist in our society.

Just as the Cell Phone is being used to track them it is also an invaluable tool for the girls to use for self protection.

If I have a complaint about how technology is affecting our kids it's this. The school these girls go to doesn't teach spelling anymore. Doesn't teach cursive (sp?) writing anymore. The Laptop will take care of the spelling. The writing is all electronic. These things concern me a bit. I'm pretty sure my 10yr old Grand Daughter cannot read the Declaration of Independence.....

 

[Big Barn]

That usually happens when using a Cell Phone to respond.

Okay. THAT is just TOO funny.

 

[Bikewanderer]

If I have a complaint about how technology is affecting our kids it's this. The school these girls go to doesn't teach spelling anymore. Doesn't teach cursive (sp?) writing anymore. The Laptop will take care of the spelling. The writing is all electronic. These things concern me a bit. I'm pretty sure my 10yr old Grand Daughter cannot read the Declaration of Independence.....

Here they do teach spelling but they teach writing first. So little kids are writing badly. I get why they do it. They encourage them to write above their spelling abilities and let it all get sorted out later.

I'm not sure kids are reading as much as they used to. Or the same kinds of things. I worry about these things too.

 

[Bikewanderer]

Okay. THAT is just TOO funny.

Yeah, I appreciated the irony too.....power has been out all morning. It rained last night or I'd be outside doing something. Power just came back on....time to go process apples.

 

[ovrszd]

Okay. THAT is just TOO funny.

I almost didn't send that because I thought it would sound like I was being sarcastic. Which I wasn't. Then I thought what the heck, we need a little humor here.

 

[3930dave]

This might surprise you but kids are a lot different now than they used to be. They don稚 go out with friends nearly as often. They don稚 drive as early or as often. They don稚 even drink or do drugs nearly as often as our generations did. Cars are safer now. The world is a safer place now. Yet somehow our kids aren稚 allowed to play past the backyard or be outside the range of a cell phone and would rather sit indoors on Snapchat where they?*e safe.

Took on a 1 year contract at a video hardware company (bear with me....) a decade ago, and literally bumped into a buddy from another past tech-life out front of the corporate HQ. Ended up at this vid company, we'd often go for a jog down a big HV hydro (elec utility) cut nearby, every other lunch hour..... miss those runs, job/company not much......

Run topics.... just about everything, including What's Going On in The World Today, much as we are doing here....

Kicking the can down the road one day about Helicopter Parents, we both agreed - some of the most valuable lessons we learned came from running around with our friends, screwing up, and having to make things right on our own. Not the Gangsta stuff that makes headlines today, just what in retrospect was fairly regular scrapes for our generation.

Being on a (perceived) high-wire w/o a safety-net.... the whole game changes. Thought processes are different, both before and after-action, w/o a Lifeline.

As technically impressive (altho, not perfect) as modern digital comms are, they are also having significant impacts at the social and neurological level - not all Bad, not all Good.

Rgds, D.

 

[Bikewanderer]

Took on a 1 year contract at a video hardware company (bear with me....) a decade ago, and literally bumped into a buddy from another past tech-life out front of the corporate HQ. Ended up at this vid company, we'd often go for a jog down a big HV hydro (elec utility) cut nearby, every other lunch hour..... miss those runs, job/company not much......

Run topics.... just about everything, including What's Going On in The World Today, much as we are doing here....

Kicking the can down the road one day about Helicopter Parents, we both agreed - some of the most valuable lessons we learned came from running around with our friends, screwing up, and having to make things right on our own. Not the Gangsta stuff that makes headlines today, just what in retrospect was fairly regular scrapes for our generation.

Being on a (perceived) high-wire w/o a safety-net.... the whole game changes. Thought processes are different, both before and after-action, w/o a Lifeline.

As technically impressive (altho, not perfect) as modern digital comms are, they are also having significant impacts at the social and neurological level - not all Bad, not all Good.

Rgds, D.

I recall a newspaper article that really made this hit home. A few local boys (IIRS, like 12 and 14) who were active in boy scouts took off on a canoe for the weekend. There was a much better story on the local newspaper site, but they put up a pay wall and it's not visible anymore.

Short version: two boys with scouting and canoeing experience want to take a canoe trip. Canoe flips over, cell phone was in a ziplock bag that either got lost or wet. So they built a camp site with a fire and waited for help to come. They had made a plan in advance, dad knew where they SHOULD have been, and they searched through the night, found the boys unhurt. Comments on facebook and on the news site were scathing. They couldn't believe that a dad would let kids do this. Lots of talk of reporting them to CPS.

https://www.kansas.com/news/article1061607.html

I think about this every once in a while. The fact is that kids aren't taking chances. Those kids and dad did everything right and everybody was OK. Their friends probably don't do these kinds of things.

I think you're right. I think adolescence is a period of a great deal of learning, and the most important thing isn't what you learn, it's how you learn to learn. Cell phones do change those thought processes, yes some better and some worse.


There's some talk on Xenniels about this type of thing too. It's the generation between X and Y, who got cell phones later in life and were not as affected by technology at a young age. There's a lot I identify with in articles on the topic, and a lot of acknowledgement that it really does make those my age a little different than those only slightly older and slightly younger than us.

Facts about 'xennials,' who were born in between millennials and Gen X - Business Insider

 

[3930dave]

So they built a camp site with a fire and waited for help to come.

They paid attention to the survival training they'd had, and executed it. I wouldn't ever want to have to rely on the people who are criticizing Dad.

How many times have we seen the outcomes be much worse, with adults, often blindly following a GPS screen into an area they have absolutely no business being in - given their lack of vehicle/supplies/training. Don't get me started on Selfie deaths.....

This mania of Eliminating All Risk makes about as much sense as "I heard that somebody once pulled a muscle badly lifting weights, therefore I'll never go to a gym".

Sitting in front of a screen indefinitely is viewed as Safe. Direct Experience carries Risk, therefore Bad......... wait...... Didn't I just read about Cardiac events surging in 20 - 35 year olds, not present in early gens......

Screens have Risk :shocked: Say It Ain't So !

Rdgs, D.

 

[tjkubota93]

I have actually caught myself wondering if I want to get my 6 year old a phone. It definitely wouldn't have internet. But I thought it would be cool to call and ask what's going on? Also thought it would be nice to be able to see where he was occasionally.

But like others have said, I dont want him attached at the hip. He needs to experience life by himself at least for a good while. (The high wire with no safety net analogy)

Speaking of societal issues, I got a bullet proof jacket insert I stuck in his backpack. I know it's not likely to work, but figured it was cheap insurance against some crazed idiot shooting up his school.

On weeks he does good at school he gets to shoot a bear youth bow and arrow I got him as a reward. I watch him, but his mom is scared to death. I've been telling her you gotta let them do things a little over their head so they learn. It gives his little brain something to do. And he learns responsibility. Hes already got a tongue lashing over a purposely wild shot. Can't keep them from everything.

 

[Tractor X]

 

[Sigarms]

Our Daughter uses all of these tools with her three daughters. She has complete access to their phones electronically. Knows where the phone is all the time. If Mom calls Daughter answers the phone. No excuses. No freebies. Violate the rules and punishment is swift and harsh. One time it was family laundry duty for two weeks, including folding and putting away.

Can you be speciffic on exactly what program your daughter is using to monitor the cell phone? There is a difference between knowing where the phone is at and accessing ALL information on the phone, including aps. Exactly what does your daughter have access to on her children's phones?

As mentioned, my boys got theirs this year at age 14 this year. They had to be the only kids I know of locally that didn't have a phone (heck, I see like 3 year olds playing with them to keep them amused nowadays).

Once they (my boys) got their phones, seems all their friends got them up to speed on it pretty quick.

Did take a real stupid pic my one boy wanted me to take of him a couple of years ago (I argued with him it was so stupid I didn't want to, but he convinced me). He gets embarrassed and mad if I go and show it to anyone years later. That's my reminder to him to NEVER EVER photo yourself with a phone and share the pic with a friend. You will NEVER EVER know where it can end up over time.

 

[ovrszd]

I'll visit with Katrina and get details.