Anonymous Poster
Epic Contributor
- Joined
- Sep 27, 2005
- Messages
- 29,678
I can\'t be held responsible.....
...for anything I say out of a dead sleep.
Jake came creeping into the house at after one a.m. this morning. Naturally I was sound asleep, I didn’t expect him back until morning, he was supposed to be on an all night hog hunt. When he shook my elbow gently to let me know he was home, I was well into REM sleep and not functioning very well.
“Mom…..I’m back…”
“Oak…Oaknaay…” Snore. Is he really there, or was I dreaming?
“Mom…mom! I’m home!” Urgent whisper, translated into wake up and pay attention to me.
“Yeah…yeah… I know.” Oh he**… he was going to make me speak, and worse yet, listen.
“Did you have a good time?” I asked, eyes closed hoping that the forthcoming answer would be brief.
“Yeah…we got one!” he whispered excitedly.
“Oh you did? Oh, that’s good. Well, goodnight.” …..hope, hope, hope.
“Mom…it was a hundred and fifty pounds!”
My poor boy. He was obviously more tired than I was. On reflex I reached out and patted his arm. Poor kid.
“Oh, honey…..of course you didn’t.”
“What…what do you mean…yeah we did! At least a hundred and fifty pounds!”
“Jake….however did you get it out of the water and into the boat? It’s impossible.”
There was a long silence during which I almost fell successfully back to sleep again.
“MOM…” just a little bit testy now…”I was HOG HUNT-ing….not FISH-ing.”
I cracked open one eye to find him staring down at me in reproach.
“Oh…oh,” ….giggle….. “that’s right!” More giggling. “Sorry…oh that’s good, a hundred and fifty pound hog…yes, that makes sense now.”
Then he started laughing.
“******.” He said, and then he disappeared and a moment later I heard the refrigerator door open and new that it had all really happened.. He was home all right.
...for anything I say out of a dead sleep.
Jake came creeping into the house at after one a.m. this morning. Naturally I was sound asleep, I didn’t expect him back until morning, he was supposed to be on an all night hog hunt. When he shook my elbow gently to let me know he was home, I was well into REM sleep and not functioning very well.
“Mom…..I’m back…”
“Oak…Oaknaay…” Snore. Is he really there, or was I dreaming?
“Mom…mom! I’m home!” Urgent whisper, translated into wake up and pay attention to me.
“Yeah…yeah… I know.” Oh he**… he was going to make me speak, and worse yet, listen.
“Did you have a good time?” I asked, eyes closed hoping that the forthcoming answer would be brief.
“Yeah…we got one!” he whispered excitedly.
“Oh you did? Oh, that’s good. Well, goodnight.” …..hope, hope, hope.
“Mom…it was a hundred and fifty pounds!”
My poor boy. He was obviously more tired than I was. On reflex I reached out and patted his arm. Poor kid.
“Oh, honey…..of course you didn’t.”
“What…what do you mean…yeah we did! At least a hundred and fifty pounds!”
“Jake….however did you get it out of the water and into the boat? It’s impossible.”
There was a long silence during which I almost fell successfully back to sleep again.
“MOM…” just a little bit testy now…”I was HOG HUNT-ing….not FISH-ing.”
I cracked open one eye to find him staring down at me in reproach.
“Oh…oh,” ….giggle….. “that’s right!” More giggling. “Sorry…oh that’s good, a hundred and fifty pound hog…yes, that makes sense now.”
Then he started laughing.
“******.” He said, and then he disappeared and a moment later I heard the refrigerator door open and new that it had all really happened.. He was home all right.