Growing Old With Dignity

[Stancoll]

Wow, hope I'm wrong but you sound a little bitter about something. A bee get under your saddle blanket? Almost sounds like you're ready to pull the trigger so to speak. I'm one of those that believes in divine salvation and yes I admit it I'm afraid of death, who isn't. My wife and her sister are care givers to their 93 year old mom. Her day and night is eat, sleep, and bathroom. You know, she took care of her children when they were helpless, why can't they now take care of her. This country seems to have lost the way in elder care. Shove somebody into a home somewhere and forget about them. Let me eat, drink and have fun. Or maybe and I don't know if this is a fact or myth but the ole westerns showed the elder native americans going out and dying away from their village. All we have is hope. I hope my boys won't stick me in a home. I hope the good Lord will let me go out easy like my grandmother went. Hope, I hope you find some!

 

[Stancoll]

Well put!

 

[rekees4300]

There are worse things than dying.

Went to visit a relative in a nursing home and saw a neighbor man standing in the corner looking into space. In his prime he was a strong, intelligent farmer but due to Alzheimer's he had become an empty shell who didn't recognize me or even remember his own name. Yes sir, there definitely are worse things than dying!

 

[goeduck]

When I last moved it was purposely to a single level house with hardwood floors, wide doors and hallways. One small step into the front door, big bathrooms and a few sliding doors out to the deck. So as long as I can shuffle my feet or wheel my arse around and am mentally able to be, I will die here.

The last thing that I wanted was stairs, carpet and small bathrooms.

 

[Diggin It]

Bird, the longer I live the less I fear death.

Nope, but it's the somewhere between here and there that scare the fire out of me. Being dependent on others for everything little thing all day long, unable to do anything for myself ......

 

[Sigarms]

Cleaning accident while you can still plan it...

I find it amazing that we can put our 4 legged dog friends down when it's time, but I've been with 2 legged loved ones in bed that had to be kept alive by the state when they should of been put down months before...

 

[turnkey4099]

We just need to accept that money doesn't buy good care.

From whjat I saw with my wife, money for sure doesn't buy good care. In fact the care facility she was in was nothing but a 'warehouse for old fold'. I had insureance that paid in full but only for a limited time. There was no other care place within reasonable commute distance. Fortunately she did not last out the insurance - cancer $7,000 a month does not take long to run out a big bank account.

 

[turnkey4099]

Interesting thread. My parents are in their mid 80's and now live in an assisted living home. About 4 years ago, they were no longer able to care for themselves and required 24 hour sitters. This was costing them about $14,000 per month.

My mom's mother was in a nursing home for about 8 years. Because my mom witnessed her mom living in the nursing home, she really resisted leaving her own home and moving to the assisted living.

But, my siblings and I could not sit and care for them at their home, and at $14,000 per month, the money would not last long. So we decided to move them to assisted living. Now, their cost is about $6500 per month.

We researched many options and did everything we could to keep them in their own home, but we finally decide the assisted living was the best option.

Now that they have been there for 4 years, I feel it was the best option. Mom's memory has deteriorated and dad can no longer walk and needs help with personal hygiene.

One of the best things my dad ever did was purchase a long term care policy. It pays about $4800 a month for their care. If not for that, there would be very little if any of their estate left.

I'll be 59 next week and I have not done anything yet for my wife and I's long term care. I need to make more plans soon. Just like my dad did.

Don't wait too long to get care insurance. I did. By the time I needed they wouldn't even talk to me

 

[Sigarms]

Don't wait too long to get care insurance. I did. By the time I needed they wouldn't even talk to me

Insurance... legit organized crime authroized by the state.

You get it (insurance) when you don't need it, you pay for it. When you need it years later, you may get it, but not to the point where they (insurance company) loses their tail on it and chances are you'll still probably go into the hole.

 

[downsizingnow48]

Insurance... legit organized crime authroized by the state.

You get it (insurance) when you don't need it, you pay for it. When you need it years later, you may get it, but not to the point where they (insurance company) loses their tail on it and chances are you'll still probably go into the hole.

My father in law paid for his LTHC insurance for decades. When we needed it, it took 3 months of constant effort from my wife to pry lose the monthly support payments. Then at one point they claimed he was no longer in need and shut the payments down. It took more months of effort to get it going again. Then after he passed they sent us a letter that they had overpaid by $2600. That is two months of support. No way did they make that error. It was just an attempt to claw back what they had paid. Cost to them of making the attempt was just postage.

 

[Sigarms]

My father in law paid for his LTHC insurance for decades. When we needed it, it took 3 months of constant effort from my wife to pry lose the monthly support payments. Then at one point they claimed he was no longer in need and shut the payments down. It took more months of effort to get it going again. Then after he passed they sent us a letter that they had overpaid by $2600. That is two months of support. No way did they make that error. It was just an attempt to claw back what they had paid. Cost to them of making the attempt was just postage.

Car insurance...My wife had the same State Farmers plan when she started driving at 18. Was with them for close to 20 years and finally had an accident. The police told her that they had to deem her at fault even though they thought the other vehicle was speeding to hit her (she turned into oncoming traffic). As luck would have it, a simple fender bender (what it looked like) cracked the axel and the insurance company decided it was better off totaling the car.

At the time, we were dating, and we then decided to get married, and I told her to screw State Farm. State Farm wanted to raise her rates by triple!

So. for over 16 years she paid to State Farm, NEVER had an accident, then all of a sudden after an accident, they are going to triple her rate?

**** State Farm...

 

[buckeyefarmer]

My father in law paid for his LTHC insurance for decades. When we needed it, it took 3 months of constant effort from my wife to pry lose the monthly support payments. Then at one point they claimed he was no longer in need and shut the payments down. It took more months of effort to get it going again. Then after he passed they sent us a letter that they had overpaid by $2600. That is two months of support. No way did they make that error. It was just an attempt to claw back what they had paid. Cost to them of making the attempt was just postage.

Like this, i don't have faith that LTHC will live up to their end of the contract. Too many outs, better have a good lawyer go over the plan.

 

[buckeyefarmer]

Wow, hope I'm wrong but you sound a little bitter about something. A bee get under your saddle blanket? Almost sounds like you're ready to pull the trigger so to speak. I'm one of those that believes in divine salvation and yes I admit it I'm afraid of death, who isn't. My wife and her sister are care givers to their 93 year old mom. Her day and night is eat, sleep, and bathroom. You know, she took care of her children when they were helpless, why can't they now take care of her. This country seems to have lost the way in elder care. Shove somebody into a home somewhere and forget about them. Let me eat, drink and have fun. Or maybe and I don't know if this is a fact or myth but the ole westerns showed the elder native americans going out and dying away from their village. All we have is hope. I hope my boys won't stick me in a home. I hope the good Lord will let me go out easy like my grandmother went. Hope, I hope you find some!

Well said...

 

[Sigarms]

I hope the good Lord will let me go out easy like my grandmother went. Hope, I hope you find some!

We can all hope, but sometimes it seems the good Lord doesn't give a ***** about some...

 

[JDAOWNER]

We can all hope, but sometimes it seems the good Lord doesn't give a ***** about some...

WHEN I DIE, I WANT TO GO PEACEFULLY, LIKE MY GRANDFATHER DID. IN HIS SLEEP, NOT YELLING AND SCREAMING LIKE THE PASSENGERS IN HIS CAR.

 

[PILOON]

I will not burden my children or my wife. I've had a great life and will be ready to go when called.

LOL. but not too soon!

 

[ovrszd]

LOL. but not too soon!

I let Doofy's comment slide. Didn't know we had a choice regarding burdening our family.

 

[cdaigle430]

My new philosophy on life is, am I living to die or am i dying to live. I prefer dying to live! I am holding true to it, screw work, screw home improvement screw yard care....thats all people do-watch TV, work on home.
I am going to live on the beach in a tropical country and get served food and beer watching the beautiful Brazilians and Argentinians walk by, walk, eat healthy workout. To **** with waiting until 67 to enjoy life, I mean who the heck came up with that anyway?
Most people at that age cant hike up a hill to see the beautiful coast line. I know to many 50 year olds in nursing homes......
Cant escape death because you were born so its what you do in between that counts-to **** with dignity.

My mom and dad at 75 are perfect role models for me-they are traveling the country in a conversion van-even going to Mexico now and then. they dont have money so they sleep in a Walmart parking lots half the time in the van-having a friggin blast!

When I die i want a party-to **** with open casket crap, dont want people to remember me by my lifeless body. it will be a party not a wake.

 

[Bird]

it will be a party not a wake.

Now that's what I told our daughters many, many years ago. There's just one small problem. All my old friends and neighbors have already died so there wouldn't be anyone to invite to the party.:laughing:

 

[cdaigle430]

By the way what do you guys think of this man in India who is suing his parents because they conceived him. The lawsuit claims they were selfish to bring him to life and he doesn't want life.
So what do we do if we want to raise a kid, you cant ask them if they want to be born, they dont exist yet.

Dont mean to hi jack this thread and Im not laughing here-it is kinda a good subject within this subject.