Growing Old With Dignity

[Jstpssng]

My mother lives in the house that my father grew up in, on the same property that has been in the family since the late 1800's. When she's done with it the land will be sold, and the money split among the heirs. If I receive anything I will likely invest it back into timberland, so that I can also pass it on.
Hopefully that's a long ways down the road; she's 82, in good health, and may even outlive me.

 

[ultrarunner]

You are to be commended... most people these days would 'sucker' the ol gal out of her things in some fashion or another. A good-hearted person is getting harder and harder to find.

And don't get me started on the kids that just want the 'quick-cash-out' option...

When my paternal grandmother had a stroke and went into a nursing home (circa 1999), I was given her humble home furnishings that she had left at that point, (age: mid-80's) and was what got me going in my first 'on-my-own' place... her couch, kitchen table, dishes, microwave, etc, served me well for many years after. I still have a few soup bowls and one sauce pan that my wife doesn't understand why I dont want to let go... I'm a sappy sentimental, she is not so much.

Dignity is often the little things we do to let the person know they are valued and cherished...

 

[drssg]

Dignity is often the little things we do to let the person know they are valued and cherished...

That could be the theme of this thread.

 

[gsganzer]

I plan to overdose on Viagra.

I expect my wife will take it hard.

:drink:

 

[dieselcrawler]

I plan to overdose on Viagra.

I expect my wife will take it hard.

:drink:

ROTFLMAO!!!! Reading this on my lunch break at work... almost spit bbq chicken across the room!

Make it worth her while... *grin*

 

[gsganzer]

We have been considering a trust. Anyone have a trust?

I did one for my mother and my wife and I also did one. There are a couple of reasons why it's worthwhile, especially if you're looking at assets over $350K or so.

Mainly, it helps protect the assets once you pass. In my case, I'm a business owner (so you always have a risk of being sued).

When my mom passes, I'm the only surviving family, so all of her assets go into a trust with me as the trustee. So if I ever got sued her assets are not directly owned by me, so they could not be considered my assets. I know someone that was being sued and his dad's inheritance was put in a trust, it saved him from losing it to the suit.

 

[Doofy]

I Trust my kids don't haul me off to Shady Pines.

 

[PILOON]

I did one for my mother and my wife and I also did one. There are a couple of reasons why it's worthwhile, especially if you're looking at assets over $350K or so.

Mainly, it helps protect the assets once you pass. In my case, I'm a business owner (so you always have a risk of being sued).

When my mom passes, I'm the only surviving family, so all of her assets go into a trust with me as the trustee. So if I ever got sued her assets are not directly owned by me, so they could not be considered my assets. I know someone that was being sued and his dad's inheritance was put in a trust, it saved him from losing it to the suit.

Be careful, my mother continued to use her father's trust to manage her funds.(he was a business owner)
Some features were good for her but it was costly.
i.e. they charged for every bill/check they wrote out (like $20. or so each) i.e. $20. to pay a $15 phone bill!
And H&R block would have saved her mega $'s over the trust's fees.
They convinced her to have them handle her estate when she passed but fortunately one trust staff walked me thru how to break that covenant as she pointed out the fees would have exceeded $10K.
We are only 3 siblings and the will stated even distribution of all assets which under law here would have been the case even without a will.

 

[Sigarms]

Had to laugh, first time in my life I "lost" my dad.

Dropped him off at the VA a second time today (I had to run a errand for work and did the exact same thing earlier today, and he was sitting where I found him no issues the first time).

The issue on the second time was the counter where my father was last seen informed me he went to the bathroom, when in fact he went to get medication in a different part of the building due to the chest congestion he was seen for, added the fact that his cell phone does not work inside the building and 4 of my calls went to voice mail.

No clue where he was at for 90 minutes. Had some people helping me try to find him, a volunteer did. Interesting feeling...

 

[ovrszd]

If I need someone to haul me to VA, I hope they don't drop me off.

 

[Sigarms]

If I need someone to haul me to VA, I hope they don't drop me off.

You assumption that my father needs me to haul him to the VA is incorrect:thumbsup:

That said, I would agree with you, that IF my father had to be driven (where he is incapable of driving himself), I probably wouldn't leave him there himself.

But thanks for sharing anyway

 

[ovrszd]

So he wasn't lost, you were.

 

[drssg]

Had to laugh, first time in my life I "lost" my dad.

Dropped him off at the VA a second time today (I had to run a errand for work and did the exact same thing earlier today, and he was sitting where I found him no issues the first time).

The issue on the second time was the counter where my father was last seen informed me he went to the bathroom, when in fact he went to get medication in a different part of the building due to the chest congestion he was seen for, added the fact that his cell phone does not work inside the building and 4 of my calls went to voice mail.

No clue where he was at for 90 minutes. Had some people helping me try to find him, a volunteer did. Interesting feeling...

From the context, I’m guessing/hoping that your father is mentally intact.

We had a local case last winter where an elderly man wandered off. There was a big search party on foot and ATVs. They eventually found him quite dead in a wooded area.

 

[Sigarms]

From the context, I’m guessing/hoping that your father is mentally intact.

He's mentally intact. He's only been living with us less than a year, and the drive to Greensboro through Winston is more traffic that he generally likes to deal with, added he normally stays in the country and goes West instead of East towards the triad area. Even when I first moved down here it took me a good 6 months figuring "new and old 40". If his appointment is in the early afternoon, he'll go by himself because if I offer to drive, he'll argue with me and want to drive himself. If it's a realy early appointment or later in the day appointment, he lets me drive him.

 

[Jstpssng]

My father left the greenhouse to go home, which was 100 yards down the road. Instead he ended up in a convenience store 40 miles away, and had to call my mother because he couldn't remember how to get home. (The store employees gave him a place to sit down, and kept an eye on him until the sherriff's department showed up.) He insisted that there was somebody with him on his trip to where he was found.

After that I tried to get my mother to get a tracking device for him, but she said that he never would wear a bracelet.

 

[Sigarms]

So he wasn't lost, you were.

No, I knew exactly where I was at in the VA. But again, thanks for sharing anyways!

 

[Complete Turf Care]

My father left the greenhouse to go home, which was 100 yards down the road. Instead he ended up in a convenience store 40 miles away, and had to call my mother because he couldn't remember how to get home. (The store employees gave him a place to sit down, and kept an eye on him until the sherriff's department showed up.) He insisted that there was somebody with him on his trip to where he was found.

After that I tried to get my mother to get a tracking device for him, but she said that he never would wear a bracelet.

There was an elderly man who worked for my cousin. He wandered off a couple of times so they put a tracking device in his vehicle. About a year and a half ago, he wandered off again. They found his car about 40 miles from home, but have not see or heard from him since. He has not been found.

 

[Doofy]

There was an elderly man who worked for my cousin. He wandered off a couple of times so they put a tracking device in his vehicle. About a year and a half ago, he wandered off again. They found his car about 40 miles from home, but have not see or heard from him since. He has not been found.

There are times that I would like to just wander away...