Grief from helping a friend.

[Scooby074]

They guy was a cheapass. Has no idea what stuff, especially machinery costs.

You did right by helping him. Time to move on, he obviously isnt the type to take responsibility for his actions.

 

[Taylortractornut]

I really hate this because at one time he and I were best friends. I think when he married his wife they bumped up to a higher status. I didnt mind looking at the machines as its kinda my hobby being an operator and mechanic. I talked to another friend of ours that said hes noticed the same attitude changes lately. Like he wants everyone eles to hold the Pi$$ bucket for them. Im not gonna worry about it anymore, as I have a baby comming in a few weeks and a few other things I need to get done here befre that happens.

 

[CurlyDave]

...I may go buy the old hoe from him as I may be getting into a boulder pit. His wife even said If I had loaned her husband my old backhoe he wouldnt have had to buy this one. I told her they need to learn a lesson in what the costs are in machinery owner ship.

I know this kind of couple. Help him sell, but don't buy it from him.

In their minds it will always be "their" backhoe and if you buy it and keep it running (no matter what the expense), they will tell everyone that you "stole" that machine from them by paying way too low a price...

 

[CowboyRon]

I really hate this because at one time he and I were best friends. I think when he married his wife they bumped up to a higher status. I didnt mind looking at the machines as its kinda my hobby being an operator and mechanic. I talked to another friend of ours that said hes noticed the same attitude changes lately. Like he wants everyone eles to hold the Pi$$ bucket for them. Im not gonna worry about it anymore, as I have a baby comming in a few weeks and a few other things I need to get done here befre that happens.

I've helped people in the past that have really screwed me good. The worst one was a brother in law that lived with us. I got him a job, and he thanked me by taking my truck out drunk and totaled it. I was telling my boss at the time, I'll never help anyone again. His response was, if you can't help people you just gave up on life.
Now a days, I find it better just to help total strangers, like older people or ladies broken down on the side of the road.
For the most part they are grateful, and I feel I have done my share.

 

[BMIGear]

No good deed goes unpunished. He is truley not the friend you thought he was. Wash your hands and dont look back. You cant fix stupid.

The above was exactly what I was thinking.

Its taken me awhile to learn that some "friends" just aren't worth having in your life. "Friends" like him quickly get filed in the Lessons Learned folder by me. Unfortunately for most of my everyday social interaction friends, I refer to that folder more often these days before I offer to help.

For my true friends and buddies, I'm there. No need to ask. No questions asked other than directions to get where you need me and what to bring.

I think the hardest thing is getting burnt by a "friend", that seems to sting more than it does when it's a complete stranger.

 

[jmurray01]

He wouldn't be a friend anymore if he did what he did to you to me!

You gave him good advice, helped him out, and what does he do ? Throw it right back in your face.

 

[JB4310]

No good deed goes unpunished.

Exactly! Happens to me sometimes. I end up telling myself that too.

Was at the dump a couple of weeks ago, I saw an old guy struggling to unload his truck, so I offered to help. As we were pulling the brush off his truck I got my feet tangled up and fell straight backwards on my butt, right into the thickest, gooiest mud wallow

I had clean clothes on and a brand new Carhartt coat. The guy got in his truck, mumbled "thanks" and drove away, leaving me standing there feeling like an idiot, caked in slimy mud.

I will still go out of my way to help people, but sometimes things happen that make you wish you didn't.

JB

 

[Illinoisdmax]

Sounds like my luck with friends. Hope things get better for ya.

 

[Robert_in_NY]

Sounds like its time to remove this "friend" from your Christmas mailing list I know all too well the type of friend you described and have been weeding them out of my day to day life. Spend your time and energy helping your good friends that deserve and appreciate the help.

 

[Sigarms]

The worst one was a brother in law that lived with us. I got him a job, and he thanked me by taking my truck out drunk and totaled it

Luckily I've never had a relative total my car, but I did have a cousin who didn't show up for a job interview I set up for him (he had the job IF he would of showed up). Felt like a jerk when the guy called me to tell me he never showed up, no phone call no nothing. Same cousin later tried to sell me his "friends" rifle for $600. When I told him the gun wasn't worth $600 but $400, he told me the guy would really take $400 it

Friends at least you can pick and choose. Some relatives you can't.

 

[Robert_in_NY]

If your exfriend paid $2250 for the Pettibone, tell him to sell it for scrap metal. The current is $50-$100 a ton and it weighs ( 10 tons ??? ). The Detroit maybe $1500.
$75 x 10 t = $750
1 engine = $1500
______
$2250

Hows that.

Craig Clayton

Its $230-$250 a ton here. Just hauled a van in last week at that rate.

 

[MtnViewRanch]

Its $230-$250 a ton here. Just hauled a van in last week at that rate.

$340 a ton in Ontario Ca. for short iron. (Less than 48") Even more $$$ in Long Beach.

 

[HarryN]

Yikes... don't need friends like that for sure.
Really, it's just time to move on. Friendships do grow apart. As this one has.
Don't worry yourself "crazy" over this fool. You did all you could!

 

[Taylortractornut]

He has no way to scrap it and intact machinery here goes for 4 cents a pound and the big yards. I may have a home for it. Its in too good of shape to scrap.

I did give him some advice today he called to apologize and I went by out of pity in his voice. Sounds liek his wife and FIL and MIL have his sack. He bought it with money he inherited from his grandma. Anyway I went up to his place and we had a big talk. I did tell him my thoughts about it and I fixed the line actually a large 10cent oring. He was whiny about having to remove one of the clinders with my jib boom on the truck. It was about an hour fix.

I gave him a home remedy for whining. Take 2 grease rags soak them in diesel fuel and tie them around his ankles. That would keep the ants off his candy Arse

I told him he ll be on probation for a while. Ive had folks not show up for interviews before after bendong over backwards to get them a job and that burns.

 

[Hooked_on_HP]

I feel your pain.Good freinds are verry few. They are the ones that call or stiop by and don't want any thing. If you are in the middle of a project when they stop by they will offer to help. Like you I bring my service truck home. I ocasionally get a call from some one I know who needs a hydraulic hose and the local parts stores are closed. Some of them seem offended when I tell them I will have to charge them for the hose and fittings that we use.
Bill

 

[YanmarFever]

I feel your pain..

Being a tractor dealer, I have friends that want to borrow my machines, or my backhoe, truck, mowers or trailers.

I calmly tell them all the following..

Is our friendship worth $200 ? if they say yes, I tell them, then go rent one from a rental yard. Needless to say, I have managed to weed out the deadwood, and life gets easier

 

[gengine]

Funny thing happened to me a couple weeks ago...
I went to fill up the horse water tank, and my hydrant was froze. I built a fire around thie pipe and opened it up, and a few minutes later, the water started running. I filled up the tank, turned off the water, and water started coming out of my shut off valve buried next to the house. I went to the rental shop to price a mini hoe or a back hoe, ran into a buddy and told him my story. I have to note, I did not ask for help. I had to go out of town for the plumbing fittings and was gonna tackle the project the next morning. When I got home, there was my buddy with his back hoe, a giant hole in the ground and another buddy already in the hole fixing my pipe. Those are the kind of guys you need to keep around. I fueled up the back hoe and offered money, but all they took was dinner and beer. I guarantee if I hear of them needing a hand, whatever I am doing can wait. Granted, this happened on a Saturday, and maybe they didn't have a whole lot going on, but they still took their time to come save my butt.
We've all been burned. You go out of your way to help, but when you need a hand, there's nobody around.

 

[Garybake]

Taylor, people are all different and the nice ones usually you will not see requesting a helping hand. My experience was being the local mechanic and handyman who for thirty years in this house has put in his own inground pool, second floor doormer and helped every neighbor that appeared to be in a struggle of sort. I have rebuilt their motors in cars, and simply shoveled snow for others when they could not get to it. A couple years back a motorist hit me in front of my house as I was taking delivery from a truck. I lost my left leg and that next year was a real challange. Not one of those people shoveled snow, cut grass or even helped out my wife. They have their reasons but I will not be extending myself much beyond the very few who were greif stricken and shy but did come and offer get well wishes. "If only you were a desk jockey..." They meant well!

 

[Bob77064]

Some people appreciate, some expect and some demand. All we can do is try to help.

 

[two_bit_score]

All the reasons why you put this guy on 'probation' are legit and well supported by comments here so nothing else for me to add to that. You made the right decision.

I've got friends, acquaintances, people I know and not really well acquainted with, then there's the other category - drinking buddies.

Drinking buddies seem to fall into a category that can include all of the above but is still different.