Ever put your foot in your mouth?

[Wakey]

Some of us are better at this than others but I have a few good ones.

I had a client that was an empty nester and her husband still worked. I was over there every couple of months for something, it was a giant house.

She typically followed me around and we chatted while I was fixing whatever was broke.

I think she was a bit fascinated and I'm sure bored/lonely.

She asked "Do you like what you do?"

"Yeah, sure. I'm somewhere different each day and most of this I can do with ease."

I went on.. "Many people have jobs where they cringe when they run into coworkers or clients."

"Not me.." "It's not like I'm a lawyer!"

I realized she didn't have a comeback so I looked over at her and she had a blank stare.

"Wait, are you a lawyer??"

"Yes."

(They say when unintentionally digging a hole, STOP DIGGING!)

Not me, I can salvage this :laughing:

"Yeah, but not a defense attorney, right?" :ashamed:

"No, real estate"

"Yeah well, you know what I mean, right?"

The other was unfortunate as well.

While on a residential construction site they had 2 latino guys putting together a deck. I needed to know a few things about where I could wire some outdoor speakers. So I walked up to the older of the two and asked him if he spoke english.

"Yes, sure."

So I asked him a few simple questions and was amazed with his english.

So...

I complemented him.

He says "Dude, I'm from Arizona."

:ashamed:

"Oh, I figured you were an immigrant, they have so many..."

I'm an American Indian."

:ashamed:

He was nice about it, introduced me to his son, I didn't ask if he was a latino also :laughing:

 

[JohnBuffaloMN]

okay, well, I've never... but one time my sister was at a family gathering (we live in farm country) and my hog farmer cousin's wife was wearing a v-neck dress dress and had a nice 2 1/2" chest hair poking out. My sister goes to grab the hair to remove it thinking it was somehow misplaced, nope it was attached... :ashamed:

More than one time I've caught myself commenting on a woman's pregnancy - being reminded by female company that I'd be better off not bringing that large belly up. :thumbsup:

one time as a young maverick (around 25 years old) I was in a meeting to try to convince the owners of a property to allow us to build a giant steel tower on top of it for a communications antenna farm. Not one antenna, but up to 50 aiming in all directions. It was lucrative for them, and little risk since we had all the preliminary engineering done, but still a big deal for all involved. My boss brought me along to allow me to do the negotiating! It was a high honor and privilege from my perspective and a risky thing for him to do. He was in his mid fifties and had been around the block a few times. Well, time for introductions at the big meeting - three on their side and two on ours, and I go to grab business cards from my wallet and out comes a condom landing where everyone could see. :cool2:

 

[JohnBuffaloMN]

yeah, we built a LOT of antennae on that tower

 

[Slowpoke Slim]

Meeting my new neighbor outside at one of the cattle gates. Intros are done, and another guy pulls up to see him (neighbor), says he's come over to get a shipping trunk for his mother-in-law.

Without missing a beat, I pipe up "Do you think she'll fit?"

Was introduced to a young lady one day that was very obviously well endowed in the chest department. Upon introducing her to me, my friend said "She's a nurse".

To which I replied, "Well, she's certainly got the equipment for it."

 

[mbohuntr]

I was at the Dr's office, and a nurse brings me into a room. There sits a picture if her with 2 young children. I took her to be in her mid-late 50s so I commented...
"What beautiful grandchildren you have"
Well.. they WEREN'T her grandchildren...
I then asked" Is there any way to salvage this situation?"
Her eyes teared up, she replied "NOPE!"
...and she walked out....

I hope my boot was clean.....it tasted awful...

 

[Diggin It]

It's about the only thing I'm good at. I was good for the Steven Wright deadpan delivery schtick, but people never got it. They just looked at me like I was the meanest most insensitive fool they'd ever met. I basically stopped talking to most people.

 

[dodge man]

In college we were playing co-ed softball. You were suppose to bat boy girl boy girl etc. They had two guys batting in a row and I yelled to the ump they have two guys in a row batting? He said this is a young lady. Luckily I resisted the urge to say she does not look like it.

 

[Wagtail]

[Salty Sea Tale <Navy>] One morning I (delicately) bailed up a junior Sailor for forgetting to remove 'his' small, gold, hooped earrings...

That's when she replied that they were allowed for female Sailors.

I quickly apologised, "Oh, sorry, I thought that only gold 'studs' were allowed."

<whew>

 

[gwstang]

[Salty Sea Tale <Navy>] One morning I (delicately) bailed up a junior Sailor for forgetting to remove 'his' small, gold, hooped earrings...

That's when she replied that they were allowed for female Sailors.

I quickly apologised, "Oh, sorry, I thought that only gold 'studs' were allowed."

<whew>

Haha, you slicked your way right out of that one.

 

[HillStreet]

A few years ago a guy from my office visited a client. He was meeting with the owner when a girl walked by. He said something like “if she lost 30 pounds I would blah blah blah her. The owner became irate and threw him out, then called the office to demand the employee be fired. It was his daughter. Some people are just too stupid to leave the office.