Do you pay your kids?

[mikehaugen]

Right now my 12yo daughter is being punished. She's been grounded all week and today she is mowing my 2.5 acres with a push mower. She has also spent a lot of time during the week weeding the garden. I don't mind mowing, but I'm thinking this could be an opportunity. I'm thinking maybe next year if she's not grounded, perhaps giving her something and handing the mowing duties over to her. She already has a lot of chores/responsibilities inside the house.

Normally I would think that there are certain things that are expected with no pay obviously, but maybe a couple things I could give her a little something to show her a reward for hard work. The two things of the top of my head would be weeding and mowing. Vacuuming, cleaning, taking garbage out, etc are already her responsibility. She is the oldest and none of the kids get any kind of allowance, but feel like maybe they need to feel like they "earned" something besides just being expected to do it. This would not be a lot of money (how much money does she really need?) I'm thinking like $10.

What say you?

 

[newbury]

Based on 4 children:
We always gave allowance based on things they were expected to do and took little time, taking out garbage was one of them, doing dishes w/ dishwasher, etc. but good grades were also important. We tried to get them in the habit of saving up money for "the future" toy they wanted. For 3 out of four it seemed to work very well, the 4th tends to spend $$ quickly. Allowances were on the order of $5 to $10 from the mid-80's thru the 90's.

For "long duration" chores, mowing and edging the lawn or shoveling snow for an hour or so we would give extra sometimes. Although for a several years starting about when he was 10 the oldest son thought mowing the 1/4 acre lawn with the self propelled was a SPECIAL PRIVILEGE and he had to bring home good grades to be ALLOWED to mow the lawn.

For rare longer jobs like painting Grandma's house they got a flat wage, usually about half minimum wage.

One of the strongest incentives I devised was the award system for A's. Good report cards were REQUIRED, but A's received $1 for the first and doubled for each additional. Thus:
1A=$1
2A's=$3 (1+2)
3A's=$7 (1+2+4)
4A's=$15 (1+2+4+8)
5A's= $31 (1+2+4+8+16)
6A's= $63 (1+2+4+8+16+32)

With occasional not including classes like a second gym class etc. One son routinely got $15 and twice the coveted $63. The rest usually got $7 to $15.

 

[tcreeley]

I like dollars for A's, etc.. I told my kids that I didn't care what grade they got, as long as they tried. One got better grades than the other, so we tried to find ways to equalize the amounts- B's could earn dollars too, not as much. School was painful enough without us getting on their case. I always insisted that they do their homework- and it was easy for me to find out as I taught in the same school. One in his senior year was dismissed early- earning credits through the summer at the local university. The other one was his class's valedictorian. They both did just what they had to growing up, but if you said you wanted something done -they did it. Machinery, carpentry held no interest for either of them - couldn't get it across! But they are both productive today.

 

[Pixguy]

My first reaction to reading the title was NO, but then after hearing what she already does around the house, if she does it well, my thought s now are sure, she sounds like a hard working kid who deserves to save a few bucks and treat once in awhile. Yes, teach/force her to save some and not blow it.

 

[dave1949]

Your daughter already has home chores (cleaning vacuuming, garbage, etc.) but you don't say how many hours per week she spends at these tasks, so it is hard to judge.

At 12-years-old, 2.5 acres with a push mower (22" with a motor, not self-propelled?) sounds like a lot to me. I don't know of many adults who do that either.

I think kids should have the right amount of chores to do on a consistent basis. I never paid our kids for doing chores. I'm not convinced that lots of work is a suitable punishment for children. It's certainly not reinforcing the idea that work is its own reward and something a person should take pride in doing well.

Rather than spending hours on the handle of a mower, maybe your daughter could be encouraged to undertake something more creative and instructive for the long-term that will develop her interests. If she happens to like yard work, then give her her own 1/4-1/2 acre to do with what she wants--within good judgement of course.

 

[Rustyiron]

Mine are completely paid for!:laughing:

 

[SPIKER]

Like others said I was kid I did chores as such they were chores, not jobs so pay was not expected for them or gotten. Doing jobs (mowing lawns or shoveling snow) for the people around the neighborhood was for pay. rather cheap pay based on what kids are asking for now days.
I like the idea of letting her make part of the yard her own! and for 2.5 acres maybe buy a cheap lawn tractor/mower and get her learning how to drive a head of time it will do a lot for her driving coordination in 3 years...

Mark

 

[buckeyefarmer]

Not for household chores. My view it's part of being a family, there are things that need to get done, and we all have to pitch in and help, so they all have certain responsibilities. However, there are certain extra jobs that I would like done, and I have paid for them. One example is scanning a bunch of pictures. I wanted them scanned, but didn't have time, so my son did them, I performed QC on his work before paying, and he had to redo any that were not right. He scanned over 7000.

 

[mikehaugen]

Thanks for the responses. Just to be clear, she already had chores/responsibilities, and is not compensated. Mowing I consider my job, but was considering giving that up to her as a way to earn money. As of right now, I don't expect it of her. It was just a idea, as at some point she will need/want money for things, and instead of just giving her an allowance, this would allow her to earn some money. Seems better to me than just giving her an allowance.

I never got paid for anything around the house until I started working for other people. Not sure how I got those "extras" before that, but assume they were just given to me. We don't have many neighbors and I doubt the ones we do have would be willing to pay her for anything.

 

[TomSeller]

If she could work for someone else and earn money during the time she is working outside for you, I think you should pay her. Inside the house is just family duty. When she is grounded she shouldn't be paid or paid 1/2 rate. But make sure the grounding is understood by her and fair to her. I would encourage her to work for money and whatever incentivizes her to earn more with better quality work, the better her life will be. You will do well and right by her, I am sure. She is lucky to have a good Dad.

 

[Gary Fowler]

I grew up on a farm and all the labor was done by us kids. We didn't get paid for it other than food on the table and clothes and shoes on our bodies. If we finished our farm chores, we could work for others and keep all the money we made. I started driving tractors before I was old enough to go to school and by 14 or so, I was working for neighbors after school and all summer driving tractors for $1 per hour (no overtime pay) and I could make close to $100 per week because we ran from about 530 am to 9 or 10 pm most of the time. I could get in 6-7 hours after school most days. That was quite a bit of money back then and working 15 hour days, it didn't get spent when I was working so I usually had spending money all year.
My parents didn't have a lot of money, most farmers didn't make much more than a meager living, but it taught me how to work hard and to save my money for hard times that were almost sure to occur. When I got married and on my own, I saved minimum of 10% of my gross wages no matter what and it went into the company 401K where it stayed till I retired.
I think giving kids a big allowance for doing their family chores is a bad thing to do. It teaches them that they should always get money for doing nothing. When they think that way (like a heck of a lot of folks do now days) then they seem to think that someone owes them a living for doing nothing. It really depresses me to see how many of todays workers don't save one nickel of their wages for retirement or even for an emergency like getting laid off their job. They live for today and to he!! with tomorrow. It is going to be much harder for the generations coming after the baby boomers to have a great life and kids need to learn responsible money management early. They also need to do something to earn an allowance, something besides contributing to family society work.

 

[Gary Fowler]

I almost forgot, wife and I raised 5 kids and we never gave them an allowance. We bought them what we felt that they needed, they did their homework, got praised for good grades but no money. We would sometimes treat them to a movie or something for doing excellent work in school but never did we pay them for achieving what we considered normal grades for each of them. Some were A+ students, others were B and C students but they all did their best and they always helped each other.
They all are productive workers with very good living now. I think they spoil their own children a bit trying to give them all the latest technology and fashion which they didn't get during their childhood. I don't know if the grandchildren are going to fit into their future work force. They are all good kids and so far non have any discipline problems which is good.

 

[tcreeley]

I grew up on a small dairy farm, chores were chores. My stepfather told me at one point during the summer, that if I was always there to help out with what needed doing, when he had some money, he'd give me a few dollars for it. Seemed to work out to every couple of weeks I'd get something through the summer. My older brother wanted to get a summer job and was told he could, if he contributed summer earnings to pay for his replacement's wages. This was back when the guy who worked year round for us got a dollar an hour and room and board. Another guy, mentally challenged got 15 dollars a week and room and board. It was a different time and place than it is today.
Today every kid thinks he is going to be part of a "cooperative team" and work for wallstreet.
The kids I see working the hardest and independently, are the one's who get their license early.

 

[SPIKER]

...
The kids I see working the hardest and independently, are the one's who get their license early.

I agree that is why I suggested he get a 2nd hand riding mower to get her on that mowing, teaches good driving skills and for a couple hundred bucks it will be cheap training vs price of a car. Paying her a few bucks to mow is cheap and teaches work for $ and let her buy what she wants. Even getting her to open a bank account to save part of what she earns. Not sure of where they live if she could maybe make a few bucks from neighbors or not. I did it with a push mower or snow shovel from age 9 up & we spent what we earned on what we wanted, mom was poor and was lucky to provide roof & often we had to ask for gov cheese or church handouts. By teenager I was working part time on dairy farm & Fresh raw Milk was one of the perks!!! An despite what the FDA says I never ended up sick from drinking it just like billions of people prior to the FDA mandates.

Mark

 

[mikehaugen]

I do have access to an old cub 105. It's sitting at my mom's and she said I could have it anytime if I wanted it. This definitely crossed my mind while I was thinking this over yesterday. It's hydro and only 10hp, I think perfect for a 12yo.

I mow with a 71"bunton 3 wheeler and think it would be too much for her to handle.

Thanks for all the thoughts guys. More than likely she will be mowing next year... haven't decided on the payment thing yet. I think depending on how it's presented and handled, a small payment could be beneficial or not.

 

[kenmac]

my only son left at home is a full time college student. I told him early on that if he studied and made good grades , he wouldn't have to get a real job. When he can, he helps out with the business, cuts grass, etc, and I pay him for this.

 

[Citydude]

They will get paid when I kick the bucket!

 

[Cat_Driver]

Never put a 12 year old on a piece of machinery. Don't give that ...when I was a kid BS, or they need to do it sooner or later BS, or it helps them in the real world BS. Machinery and equipment is made for MATURE ADULTS. Yes I know kids all over the world as young as 4 years old drive front end loaders, but that does not make it any safer for a C-H-I-L-D.

Yes people rode around all day with no seat belts too, and got killed y the millions, safer today with seat belts.

Now for the "payment". Kids should get a certain amount of "duties" that are part of helping the house, clean room, dishes, picking up etc. After that I think they should get some money. Money is a freeing think for a kid, it something they earned and something they can do as they wish with.

I remember my Mom would give my brother and I $1.00 to buy any toy we felt like buying. ( That's when $1.00 could still buy you a toy) I can still remember 50 years later how great I felt and how much that dollar meant to me. I learned to weigh the pros and cons from toy to toy, the value of a dollar, how far I could stretch that dollar, maybe I could buy two smaller toys for that dollar or one big toy. I bet it took me an hour to decide which was the best way to spend that dollar, and most of all IT WAS ALL MY DECISION.

I get parents buy kids what they need and that's it, but the real life lesson is letting them earn and spend as they wish.

I teach my daughter to negotiate. I hate when she does it with me but I want her to question EVERY PRICE both in buying, selling and wages. I'll say I'll give you $2.00 to wash the car because that's what I'd give the car wash, she says nope I want $6.00, because I'm saving you time and fuel. I come back with $4.00 and back an forth we go. Sometimes I win sometimes she wins, sometimes neither of us wins or loses. It's all about her need fro funds. Other times she'll come to be and say, what will you pay me to do this or that and the negotiations begin. I usually get a better deal if she's saving for some clothes or a concert.

I've been doing this with her since she was five not she's 18 and she one heck of a negotiator.

So you can see how by "paying" your child you can give them something they will never ever learn in any school they ever attend and will save or make them thousands over a life time. Paying them creatively will be the greatest gift you can give them.

The days of " I worked on a farm and I had to get up at 5am and blah blah blah" Those days are LONG GONE. Besides everything you own id theirs anyway one you kick off so playing games by NOT giving kids money is ludicrous.

 

[Citydude]

Never put a 12 year old on a piece of machinery. Don't give that ...when I was a kid BS, or they need to do it sooner or later BS, or it helps them in the real world BS. Machinery and equipment is made for MATURE ADULTS. Yes I know kids all over the world as young as 4 years old drive front end loaders, but that does not make it any safer for a C-H-I-L-D. Yes people rode around all day with no seat belts too, and got killed y the millions, safer today with seat belts. Now for the "payment". Kids should get a certain amount of "duties" that are part of helping the house, clean room, dishes, picking up etc. After that I think they should get some money. Money is a freeing think for a kid, it something they earned and something they can do as they wish with. I remember my Mom would give my brother and I $1.00 to buy any toy we felt like buying. ( That's when $1.00 could still buy you a toy) I can still remember 50 years later how great I felt and how much that dollar meant to me. I learned to weigh the pros and cons from toy to toy, the value of a dollar, how far I could stretch that dollar, maybe I could buy two smaller toys for that dollar or one big toy. I bet it took me an hour to decide which was the best way to spend that dollar, and most of all IT WAS ALL MY DECISION. I get parents buy kids what they need and that's it, but the real life lesson is letting them earn and spend as they wish. I teach my daughter to negotiate. I hate when she does it with me but I want her to question EVERY PRICE both in buying, selling and wages. I'll say I'll give you $2.00 to wash the car because that's what I'd give the car wash, she says nope I want $6.00, because I'm saving you time and fuel. I come back with $4.00 and back an forth we go. Sometimes I win sometimes she wins, sometimes neither of us wins or loses. It's all about her need fro funds. Other times she'll come to be and say, what will you pay me to do this or that and the negotiations begin. I usually get a better deal if she's saving for some clothes or a concert. I've been doing this with her since she was five not she's 18 and she one heck of a negotiator. So you can see how by "paying" your child you can give them something they will never ever learn in any school they ever attend and will save or make them thousands over a life time. Paying them creatively will be the greatest gift you can give them. The days of " I worked on a farm and I had to get up at 5am and blah blah blah" Those days are LONG GONE. Besides everything you own id theirs anyway one you kick off so playing games by NOT giving kids money is ludicrous.

Just have to ask, were you raised in a city?

 

[fordmantpw]

We give our kids an allowance. We give $1/week per year of age. So, my 11 year old gets $11/week. However, half of that MUST go in savings. The rest of it is theirs to spend as they see fit. Our poor 5 year old never has any money because you just can't buy much on $10/month. Our son, who is 9, is constantly sharing his funds with his little sister and is always buying her things when he can. Our thoughts on this are that is serves several purposes:

• It teaches them to save. They are not allowed to spend the savings as it must be saved for an emergency. This will be part of their 'college fund.'
• We never have to hear 'will you buy me this?' We don't buy them anything at the store. They have to spring for it themselves with their own money. If they can't afford it, they don't get it. We have loaned them money before to see how interest works.
• They learn about charity and helping others with their money.

Our kids also have chores that they have to do, but they are not necessarily paid for their chores. However, we have withheld allowance for poor performance on getting chores done in the past. We have explained the reasoning behind withholding allowance, and our oldest really gets it. The other two are coming along, albeit slowly.