do you loan your trailer out

[deere755]

I posted some time back about loaning my truck and trailer to my stepdaughter and it coming home with a dent in the tail gate and some damage done to the fender on the trailer. She wanted to borrow it again and I suggested she get a uhaul and I pay for it. This seemed fair to me but she threw a fit about it. Now a little over a year later she and her new boyfriend who I don't much care for are wanting to borrow it so she can move again. As it turns out the weekend she is moving I will be out of town with my son for a baseball tournament. I don't want to let her or her new boyfriend have it without me being around to supervise it. This stirred up a lot of problems between us the last time I refused to let her use it after she had damaged it. My wife thinks I should let the trailer go this time and just look the other way if it comes home damaged to keep peace in the family. Because of the tention between my stepdaughter and I my wife was unable to see her grandkids as often. Things are just now starting to get better between us and my wife is afraid this will stir it up all over again. I do loan out my trailer to a few people but I am very picky about who uses it. I know the people who I let use it will take care of anything that may be damaged as this has happened before. I know it is family but I don't believe this should make it ok to loan it out. It really makes me mad that our grandkids are used as a bargaining chip. Any opinions would be appreciated. Am I being unfair? If they want to move the weekend before or the week end after I will bring the truck and trailer over and help them myself. I just cannot be there that weekend.

 

[MrJimi]

Give her BF the # for U-Haul and be done with it.
I don't loan my trailer out and if my friends need it, I will move it for them

 

[AlanB]

Would it make my wife happy if I lent it out, and can I reasonbly afford the damage that is likely too happen?

While it would bother me on several fronts, I would probably go to heck with it, it is just a trailer, and let it go at that. Turn a blind eye unless you think they will kill someone with it (like tow a 2 5/16 coupler on a 1 7/8 ball)

I would not be happy, but every time I thought about it, I would picture my grandkids and my wife and just hang onto that thought.

 

[rdln]

WWDLS--hmm what would Dr. Laura say? I dont think you should lend it to her. I like the philosyphy "Trust people until they give you a reason not to"
And it sounds like she gave you a reason not to lend it again.

Her quarrel is with you, not your wife. Using the grandkids as a bargaining chips is very immature.

How is this new boyfriend's driving record?

 

[dqdave1]

You could convienantly loan it to someone else the wekend they need it and say it was already spoken for that weekend, and then make mention that she damaged it the last time she used it so you would have to think long and hard about loaning it to her again anyway.

 

[HarryVanderpool]

I make it perfectly clear:
I DO NOT loan tools or borrow tools, so don't even ask.
That goes for neighbors, co-workers, kids, makes no difference.
No means no.

>>> It really makes me mad that our grandkids are used as a bargaining chip. Any opinions would be appreciated.<<<

Your problem is that you have the whole thing backwards.
YOU are the Elder. YOU are of highest value.
So if there are any bargaining chips floating around, a grandfather is the chip of the highest value.
Hold your head up and don't be a door mat.
You are the grandfather; YOU have the final word.
If they don't respect you, then they aren't worth a plug nickle.
So why would you want to loan something to someone like that??!!
My $0.02

 

[Tig]

Since there is family and grandkids involved there is no graceful way out for you. I would probably lend it one more time and then sell it.
That way no one is offended and you can rent when necessary.
I know this solution may be a bit of a bitter pill to swallow but it keeps the peace. Use the money from the sale to buy yourself a toy.

 

[MossRoad]

I never loan out any expensive or hard to operate tools to family or friends. I do the work for them and ask for a root beer as payment. Be honest and up front with them.... something like:

I am nervous about loaning out my truck and trailer due to liability and damage. If you hurt someone else with my equipment, I may get sued. If you damage it, I will feel bad and it may put a strain on our relationship. However, if I hurt someone else or damage it, then it is my problem. Let's pick a better time when I can help you. If we can't find a good time, perhaps you could rent something to do the job and I will pitch in to help you with the costs.

That would seem gracious and reasonable, in my opinion. Best of luck.

 

[Soundguy]

Ditto what Mr Jimi said... I try to make a habbit out of not loaning out trucks, tools, tractors, trailers or my wife.

I will however show up with any of those things and help a friend or family member out

I did one time loan out my smaller, older 4x8 utility trailer to my uncle. he had helped me plenty in a few hard spots, and he was a commercial truck driver so i figured if i was going to trust anybody.. it better be him. Yurne dout good.. trailer came back better than it left.. he put a new plug end on it as the old one was kinda dry rotted.

Past that.. uhaul or show up to help!

soundguy

I posted some time back about loaning my truck and trailer to my stepdaughter and it coming home with a dent in the tail gate and some damage done to the fender on the trailer. She wanted to borrow it again and I suggested she get a uhaul and I pay for it. This seemed fair to me but she threw a fit about it. Now a little over a year later she and her new boyfriend who I don't much care for are wanting to borrow it so she can move again. As it turns out the weekend she is moving I will be out of town with my son for a baseball tournament. I don't want to let her or her new boyfriend have it without me being around to supervise it. This stirred up a lot of problems between us the last time I refused to let her use it after she had damaged it. My wife thinks I should let the trailer go this time and just look the other way if it comes home damaged to keep peace in the family. Because of the tention between my stepdaughter and I my wife was unable to see her grandkids as often. Things are just now starting to get better between us and my wife is afraid this will stir it up all over again. I do loan out my trailer to a few people but I am very picky about who uses it. I know the people who I let use it will take care of anything that may be damaged as this has happened before. I know it is family but I don't believe this should make it ok to loan it out. It really makes me mad that our grandkids are used as a bargaining chip. Any opinions would be appreciated. Am I being unfair? If they want to move the weekend before or the week end after I will bring the truck and trailer over and help them myself. I just cannot be there that weekend.

 

[Blagadan]

I found every time I loaned out something like a trailer, I always got it back woth some damage, all be it minor, broken sidelights, cracked fender etc. You loan something out to a person, chances are they are not familiar with using that item, a trailer is a tough thing for some folks to manage when they're not used to it. My brother cannot back up a trailer to save his own life. Always seems to run it into something. I find it costs me less to go out and be the driver. I know this option is not open to you.
Now if your stepdaughter uses this trailer as a tool to cause upset in the family if you DONT lend it to her, then she is not a nice person. I feel sorry for you.
You need to discuss liability prior to loan, if she bends or breaks something, she pays for it this time. Let her know she damaged it the last time and you didnt mind paying to fix it the first time, but if she dings it again, she pays... simple as that...
I find it difficult to say no when my family wants to borrow my stuff. I have no problem saying no to neighbours and friends, preferring to volunteer to help them and make a day of it where possible.
The few times I was lucky enough to borrow something from somebody, I always made it my business to do something to make the item look "good as new" when i return it, be it washing it or fixing it up if something was previously broken on it...

 

[Flatheadyoungin]

my first thoughts are tell them no, kiss off.........

but, and even though it isn't right, when they bring the grand kids into it, logic goes out the window.....

you are just in telling them no but it's not fair to you or the grand kids......i'd just probably grit my teeth and let them have it, a trailer is replacable the time with the kids isn't.......a nice reminder of fool me once, fool me twice would be in order.....

 

[unreconstructed]

Definitely you are between a rock and a hard place.

I tell folks I don't loan out anything and I don't borrow anything. But immediate family poses some additional problems.

I have loaned out my trailer twice. The first it came back with one of the fenders bent back almost against the tire. The second time to a different guy who bought me a bunch of new flooring for the trailer to repay my kindness. You just never know.

 

[RayCo]

Without a doubt, I would loan it out. I'm going to guess that your stepdaughter is on the younger side, and as such, has many more years to gain more wisdom and understand the reasons behind your hesitation. But for now, what's more important? A dent in a tailgate or your relationship with your stepdaughter? There's nothing wrong with explaining to her that you care for your equipment and it's important that she respects it and all that, of course. 99% of what you say will probably go in one ear and out the other, but that 1% that stays will reverberate years later when she's remembering that you helped her out even when it was not necessarily what you wanted to do.

I've run into similar situations with my nephews, but it's gotten to the point that they know they can't ask things of me just because they don't feel like dealing with something on their own, and I know that they only ask me when they really have to and have already exhausted other reasonable options.

 

[Robert_in_NY]

We only loan equipment out to friends we trust and 9 times out of 10 it comes back in better shape then it left. My neighbor insist on washing all my tractors before he brings them back. He has to have close to a ton of my mud on his property as my tractors don't get washed very often (it would be a full time job with the mud we have here). He also changed all the fluids in my 1920 before he returned it and changed the filters.

There is only one person who borrows our corn planter every year. I regret ever letting him take it the first time as now it is hard to say no. He hauls it 15 miles away, keeps it for a month (sometimes longer) then brings it back dirty. Of course he never takes it just after we are done using it, he waits till we get it all cleaned, oiled and greased for storage before he wants it I have found a couple other used planters that would suit his needs but he doesn't want to buy one (and why should he when he can use ours for free). His ground is very rocky so things usually come back slightly damaged. It is going to stop soon though, hopefully this is the last year as I need to fix my planter up and I am not going to be loaning it out once I do. I will look for some more used ones and tell him about them so it would be up to him what to do.

As for your family matter, you can suck it up and let them use it and abuse it to keep the peace or you can just give them the number to the rental yard and let them decide. If this silly thing is enough for them to not want to let you see the grand kids then I feel bad for their kids. My youngest sister moved to New York City with her boyfriend and son. She refuses to talk to our step mother because she didn't have the time one day to do her boyfriends laundry. So when she moved she will not tell us her address and has nothing to do with my father and step mother (she sends my father cards still but with no return addy). My parents are not happy with the way she acted and now concentrate on the grand kids they do get to see. Best of luck to you, I wish I could tell you what to do but you will have to make the choice and live with the decision. Take care.

 

[tommu56]

deere755
How anout this have the grand kids over some day and have one of the kids hide their arm in their shirt body not in their sleve when you take them home.
Then explain to your step daughter that they are ok but slightly damaged just like your truck was last time they borrowed it.

I think your grand kids would love to help you with it.

tom

 

[Robert_in_NY]

deere755
How anout this have the grand kids over some day and have one of the kids hide their arm in their shirt body not in their sleve when you take them home.
Then explain to your step daughter that they are ok but slightly damaged just like your truck was last time they borrowed it.

I think your grand kids would love to help you with it.

tom

That isn't right, you don't use the kids as pawns and you don't make light of injuries to children or people in general. All this would do is make matters worse.

 

[RobJ]

You used the term stepdaughter, so this tells me a little bit. I don't have any steps but in my sibs do. They call them sons and daughters. It's a trailer, not worth it. It probably sits outside in the weather all the time and is only used a few times a year anyway. Let them use it, life is to short.

BTW, have you ever put a ding in your truck, trailer, tractor? You did and you let yourself drive it again???!!!??? Man I wouldn't.

Oh and yes I do loan mine out, sometimes the locals up at the weekend place use it and I don't know about it. I'm not worried about it. Worse thing I had to do was wash off a little fertilizer, my yard thanked me!!

 

[firemanpat2910]

One of lifes most complicated issues. Family vs Mine. Are we talking about a trailer or a $50,000 truck attached to a gooseneck, deckover, tilt bed, $15,000 trailer? I am one that loans my services with my toys most of the time. However I do on occasion let the toys go play with some one else. I think over 1/2 the people I know have driven my trucks at one time or another, wether its just moving out of the way, going to the store and I was the last one in the driveway at the beach house or actualy borrowing the truck to go move something. I dont have any idea of the history between you and the stepdaughter, so I can not give you any real help. If you truly think someone will get hurt or major damage occur then dont lend it. If your worried about scratching a nickles worth of paint off a $500 dollar trailers fender its not worth upseting the wife

 

[LeadPoison]

Loaning tools and equipment is like loaning out your wife. They just won't be the same afterwards and sometimes they don't come back.

 

[RobJ]

Loaning tools and equipment is like loaning out your wife. They just won't be the same afterwards and sometimes they don't come back.

Divorced?