Dad is taking the final journey

   / Dad is taking the final journey #21  
Sorry to hear. My dad passed unexpectedly in 2013. There are still things I wished we had talked about. I always valued my dad's opinion and he was a smart and honest man. I hope you also find comfort in having someone in your life that you've admired so much.

We just started my mom (87yo) in hospice 2 weeks ago. I'm on a job in Canada and got word that she's starting to decline and nurse is now coming daily. I'll head home tomorrow or Saturday, knowing her time is short.

When my mom passes, I'll be the last of us. My only sibling, brother, died in 2006 at 45YO. It'll be a strange feeling to be the last one standing.
   / Dad is taking the final journey #23  
My Dad passed 9 years ago. We were close & I miss him every day. He never went to college, enlisted in Navy WWII. He had tons of common sense, died of Altzheimers. Mom's 97th birthday is Monday, she has dementia but still understands quite a lot.
So sorry about your Dad and I understand.
   / Dad is taking the final journey
  • Thread Starter
Fuddy, that is rough. At least dad has retained most of his mental faculties. He has been on O2 for a year or more and has had some hallucinations over the last few months. Could be low O2 or his lack of vision. Apparently there is a 'thing' for people who lose a sense. The brain tries to create its own input. Fortunately, he seems aware that he is seeing things that don't make sense.
Today was a better day, but we don't know if it is a rally before he goes or he's improving. It is a 12+ hour drive in good weather. Hard to do remotely, but we can't be gone too long from here either. Frustrating.
   / Dad is taking the final journey #25  
You are so right about giving your dad a hug or a call. During the last 6 months or so of my dad's life he had at least one of his sons visit him every day. I would take the ferry to the mainland twice a week to visit my dad. We would always go for a long drive either in Seattle proper or in the surrounding area. He loved the drive and I loved talking to him. The time I spent with him was precious. We both really enjoyed our visits and the last drive was only a week or so before he died. Even when he could hardly get into the car, with me lifting him into the seat, he loved the drives. It's been just over a year and I still really miss him. Like Torvy says, hug your dad.
   / Dad is taking the final journey #26  
In an arcane way, I'm kind of looking forward to that last journey. With the ongoing strife and unrest in this world today, the 'eternal rest' may not be all that bad. Besides, I can observe everything without being involved at all.

Might not be a bad thing actually.
Agreed! From what I am told and my personal belief, it is beyond belief! And if I am wrong? Well, I enjoy a good sleep too!
   / Dad is taking the final journey #27  

Condolences and sorry you're going through this, particularly since your so far away from your father.

In another thread, you made the comment "Our dad's were so alike. Dad retired in '73 after 22 years. He was mostly in MAC. SAC is now just Strategic Command, iirc." You're right, our fathers were a lot alike.

If you can, try to spend as much time as you can with him.

I was blessed in the fact that my dad lived with us for the last four years of his life, and when we found him in the basement after he accidently fell, in less than two days at the hospital, he passed, and I was sleeping next to him in bed (I woke up at 5AM after falling asleep at 2:30AM, and they told me he went around 4:30AM when they checked on him).

You also mentioned in this thread "I think there is no joy left for him and he is ready to go."

That's EXACTLY how my own father felt the last year living with us, because for better or worse, in my fathers last year, he was becoming more and more dependent on us for everything. He told me numerous times he was ready to "check out" because he couldn't do anything on his own and his life "sucked".

Honestly, I wasn't hit by grief with my father passing like it hit me when my mom went. When my dad went, I was actually happy for him and felt blessed that it happened pretty quickly. I KNEW he went where he finally wanted to go after a very long fufilling life, because he did miss my mom for 20 years after she passed. My dads extended family who lived out of state really thought I would be in bad shape, but I wasn't. I was honestly happy for him and greatful for the life he gave me (your dad ever use the expression "just remember, I brought you into this world, and I can take you out of this world" growing up?

Because our dads are so much alike, take comfort and pride that he lived a GREAT life, loved, and had a wonderful caring son. At the end of the day, I think the greatest mark you can have in your life is leaving people behind who are caring and responsible adults in this world, and it seems like your father hit that mark with flying colors.

Seems we may be more alike than you know. Your dad was a charmer and so was mine. Like you, I'm NOT a charmer. Go figure...(don't know about your dad, but my own father seemed to go a LOT easier on his grandkids disciplinary wise than he did with me when I grew up in his house).

I was with my grandmother by her side in 77 when she left. I was with my mom by her side when she left in 2002, and same for my father in 2022. I know sooner or later I will be in the exact same spot as all of those whom I loved, when our time has come on this earth.

What I have found from my own experience is that there are no perfect words for grief, and sometimes trying to do good with words with someone dealing with greif you can cause harm instead of helping, so if I've said anything to hurt, that's not my intent and apologies.
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   / Dad is taking the final journey #28  
Sorry to hear about your dad, I hope you will be able to spend some time with him wether in person or on the phone. May God be with you and your family during this time.
   / Dad is taking the final journey
  • Thread Starter
They have shifted him to Hospice. My (nurse) daughter went up there already. She's helping my mom (retired nurse).
Dad was joking around (black humor). Got his Annointing of the Sick/Last Rites.

Surreal to be making his funeral arrangements while he is still here. I'm 1 of 4. My job is to pick the hymns. Dad is that guy in church that everyone noticed when we were kids, booming singing voice. Sticking with the classics. They know not to trust me with hard stuff!

Thanks for the support.
   / Dad is taking the final journey #30  
I will pray for your family in church today.
The prayer list is really long these days :(