So my question is do you guys have any thoughts for a young guy who needs a little time to grow up?
Chris
Yes. I have some thoughts based on personal experience... so here goes!
When I was in high school I had no idea of what I wanted to do. The only thing that interested me at the time was electronics, girls and beer. Due to the beer, I do not remember too much as to how it happened, but shortly after I graduated from High School, I found myself sitting in an ITT technical institute office in Fort Wayne, IN with my parents, a stack of papers to sign making me responsible for what I considered massive amounts of debt in the form of student loans, and the prospect of being alone in a city 100 miles from home with no car, no girlfriend ( we broke up after high school ) and no job. I lost it, plain and simple. Went nuts! The prospect of massive change was just too much. I refused to sign the papers and went back home to South Bend with my folks. In the following weeks I enrolled at Indiana University in South Bend and started my freshman year on time. My folks gave me the same offer they gave all of my older sisters. You can live at home, with free room and board, as long as you are a full time college student. If you go part time or quit school, you will have to pay rent. My sisters all took on the debts and went away to college. I kind of felt abandoned by my siblings as they left, one by one. Then my friends left for college one by one. Then their parents moved away one by one. I was the last one left among my family, friends and community. It was awful.
Anyhow, I was fortunate enough to have a full time job pumping gas into airplanes at the airport and I was paying my way through school, so no debt on student loans. After a year and a half at I.U. I realized that college was not the route I needed to take, as I hated the way college is taught. That is, you have to see things as the professors see them, not as the facts present themselves. So I switched to Indiana Vocational Technical College and enrolled in a dual associates degree program in Electronic Communications and Industrial Electronics. Electronics aren't subjective like college professors. They either work or they don't.
In three years I earned two associate degrees, held a full time job and two part time jobs and dated my new girlfriend who is now my wife of 24 years.
I came out of school debt free thanks to my parents letting me stay at home while I earned my degrees. I bought a house with my fiance' and I moved in. She stayed at her folks until we got married (pretty traditional... no shacking up! ). While I was earning my degrees, she earned hers... in Fort Wayne!
Anyhow, to make a long story short, traditional college is not for everyone. And for some folks, the massive changes of moving out, being on your own, taking on responsibility, etc... is just too much at the age of 18. Some folks grow up sooner. Some folks like me take longer to mature. There is no cookie cutter solution. I was fortunate enough to have parents that were able to understand that and afford to feed me for 4 more years. I worked off a lot of my food bills by maintaining their house and yard, doing the hard chores, running errands, etc... and it afforded me the opportunity to start my married life in the black with no debts. Ever since day one we have always been in the black, always owning more than we owed. That was the best way a guy could start a new life with his new bride and I have my parents to thank for that.
I would say give your kids the chance to feel secure at home if they need it, while setting rules regarding staying in school or learning a trade, paying as you go, etc... and the consequences of paying real rent if they quit school. I sure appreciated my parents for giving me that option.
