Eddie
Just found this thread today, don't know how I missed it. Sorry for your troubles but things will get better, it just takes time. Here is a little story about me, it's true, out of context and probably weird but if it makes you smile then I accomplished what I set out to do.
When I was about five years old my mother had cleaned me up to go to town. She told me to not get dirty and went in to finish getting ready. I made a beeline to the ditch out back and was studying the water. All of sudden I spotted a Crawdad, (that's Crayfish to all of the uninformed who don't speak the lingo of a five year old) SCORE! In my attempt to catch the Crawdad I slipped and fell into the ditch. I was covered with mud from head to toe, I knew I was dead meat when my mother saw me and started calling me by all three of my given names, you know you are in big trouble when mothers do that. In desperation of the impending spanking, I looked Mom in the eye and said "Never help a fat man out of the ditch"! Mom looked at me funny then burst out laughing. I didn't get a spanking but I sure got a good scrubbing.
So my pearl of wisdom to you Eddie is to "Never help a fat man out of the ditch"! Walk easy my friend there are people out there who care for you.