The relay tests out good and ground is good. Since I am getting voltage to the big post and the relay is not working, I am not getting voltage to the small wires to activate it. The wiring diagram in the manual is poor so I need to visually check where the small wires go.
I'm assuming by "big post" you are referring to the contact on the relay/contactor. I'm also assuming by "small wires" you are referring to the coil for the relay/contactor? Depending on how complex the electronics are on your unit will determine how complex that "small wire" or starting circuit is. That circuit will be initiated by the key switch.
Correct. The small wires go into a Deutch connector and then into the relay. If I disconnect the Deutch connector and put the ignition in run, I get 11 volts into that small wire. When I plug the connector back in, I don't' get voltage and the relay makes noise.
Sounds like you have a loose connection somewhere that is causing the coil to drag the voltage down. Or maybe a ground in the circuit. Have you checked for grounds. That's the first thing you should have done.
When the starter is disconnected I get voltage to the S (small wire on the starter solenoid). The odd thing is I get that voltage in the start and run positions. I thought you only want it in the start position.
It's easy to supply power to small S solenoid terminal by jumping it to large terminal which goes to battery +. If it engages and cranks then solenoid and starter are OK. If not then replace it.