Help! I've fallen and I can't get up.....

[CMV]

Mom is still getting around well, but developing some balance issues. She is more active than a typical 25 y/o (that doesn't still live with his parents) - I wish I had her energy. But....she lives alone and has unusually steep steps to get to her basement where laundry is. And an odd stairwell to go to attic (not pull-down steps, but not a traditional stairwell), and she is continuously putting something up there or fetching something from there.

SO my sister asked me to look into something similar to that life alert. Her internet/cable provider offers something where you just yell out and it calls 911 for you. But apparently that service is expensive. My alarm company has similar too, but that's pretty expensive since you have to have the alarm service to begin with.

So cost is a concern. Not for me or my sis - either of us would gladly pay for a good service like that - but mom is real funny about not letting us pay for stuff for her. i.e. added her to my cell phone family plan that adds like $10 to my bill. Could care less about $10, but she sends me a check every year to cover it....then another about 60 days later because I don't cash the first one....

I don't know much about these services except that they exist. The traditional one I'm thinking of from the 1980's TV commercials and thread title....that looks like you have to be wearing the necklace to begin with. She wouldn't do that. She'd either forget, or simply wouldn't because in her mind, she's perfectly fine. And she is for 78 - I hope to be in that great of overall physical condition when I get to her age. But the balance issue is there, and sadly we've all seen people go from fine to downhill in a hurry from one good fall.

So what options are there for someone getting up in age, otherwise real good health, but living alone? I kind of like something passive like what a burglar alarm company or her internet service offers - just yell out & you don't have to wear a remote. I don't use a "smart speaker" like Amazon Echo or Google Home. Would it be as simple as getting a couple of those strategically placed and she just yell's out "Alexa call 911"??? If not, what are some good options?

 

[jeff9366]

My internist tells me after beginning four prescription meds, everyone has impeded balance.

Each additional med impedes balance more.

 

[RNeumann]

The speaker idea doesn’t work too well- outside, tub, soft voice etc. The most common I’ve seen is a bracelet or necklace that one would push if they need assistance. I deal with the part the person wears more than the service side. If she is still mentally there just have her carry her cell phone all the time- honestly that’s way more likely to be on the person.

 

[jbrumberg]

CMV- I dealt with challenges like yours for a living, and sadly it's a familiar family challenge. Your Mom reads like a capable, independent, and active aging in place individual and I hope she has many more years of independent living. The bottom line is Mom is competent and until she is agreeable to some form of life alert or outreach services nothing is going to happen.

Your best shot would entail having her doctor(s) or a "trusted other" talk with her about the utility of a life alert.

Two real life scenarios: My Dad did not get a life alert until after he fell in the bathroom and spent couple of days lying on the floor alone. Sadly this scenario is common with outcomes worse than what happened to my Father. One of my Bud's Mom fell and would not use her life alert because she feared they would break down her door forgetting that there was a locked combination key box by the door.

Good Luck.

 

[Industrial Toys]

Well, they make dialers provided she has a phone line, preferably not IP. You would program the dialer to call your various phone numbers. Then put a high quality wireless system, receiver and pendant transmitter type system in. Like Innovonics. She would have to wear a pendant. Or you could put emergency buttons at strategic locations, preferably wired in. Wired is ALWAYS better!

The advantage of this system is that you can choose high wquality components. There are without doubt complete systems around like this, and i can almost guarantee they are mostly GARBAGE!

 

[jbrumberg]

Hardwired circuitry seems more logical than a battery powered unit. Any emergency button would have to be accessible to someone immobile on the floor. Voice actuated equipment would work better.

Getting old is not for sissies nor faint of heart.

 

[Industrial Toys]

I would not trust something "software driven".

I would put panic switches in such places as the washroom and bottom ot the stairs.

 

[k0ua]

We had the life alert when the Mother In Law lived here in our basement. She never used it.

How about would it be possible to re-build the basement stairs to make them less steep? better treads etc? Making her carry the cell phone is the same of subscribing to life alert except no additional bill. The getting old and getting seniors to comply is a problem for everyone. At least yours has all of her faculties. But it still can be a problem for your peace of mind. From her point of view there is no problem, so the problem really rests with you. She hasn't fell down the stairs yet right? So what is the problem? This is how she will look at it. As stated above getting old is not good. The alternative is even worse.

 

[jbrumberg]

IT- You know more about the electronics than I am capable of ever learning. I would add kitchen to your list.

James- Your observations reflect my reality during a good part of my work history. Nicely posted.

In addition efforts should be made to "fall proof" the home. Throw rugs are actually trip mats in reality. Improved lighting never hurts either, but from personal observation many elderly "conserve" energy by alway turning off the lights.

Aging in place is not easy nor cheap.

 

[Industrial Toys]

I feel like a terrible son. I had such a system (I described) at my Moms after a knee replacement AND should REALLY have one in place now, when she is truly infirm and HAS fallen already.

 

[jbrumberg]

IT- It's incredibly difficult to balance one's adult personal life and responsibilities with meeting the personal and safety needs of an active elderly independent parent. It's amazing what trouble they can get themselves into.

We do the best that we can with what skills we have.

Good luck to you too.

 

[farmeratheart]

My sister and I were lucky. Dad lived to 96- all but the last 4 weeks at home and Mom lived to 92- all but the last 6 months at home. About 10 years before Dad passed we sat down with our parents and had the very hard discussion about what aging in place was going to entail. We replaced the porch stairs with a wheelchair ramp. We took out the bathtub and replaced with a walk-in shower with bench seat. We put in a basement stair lift. Our agreement with them was that we were willing to make the infrastructure improvements for them IF they agreed to use a Life Alert service. Mom used it the 1st time when Dad fell and could not get up. She was wheelchair bound by then and couldn’t help him. After Dad died, I know she used it after a fall transferring herself from bed to the wheelchair. (At the time I lived 4 hours away and my sister was about 1.5 hours away.) The Life Alert allowed them to live several more years of independence.

 

[Industrial Toys]

My God, I took my Mom to get her License renewed. First, I drove six hours to get her to an appointment that we missed because she got the address wrong. She passed the test. Seems they will give it to anyone, She is a proud woman, and never figured that she would have to remove her knitted winter hat for the license picture. Under her hat, was a birds nest of hair with an intangled pair of eye glasses with one lense missing! The attendant insisted that the glasses had to be removed for the picture. So with a line of people growing longer and watching, I borrowed some scissors and cut the glasses out of Moms hair.

 

[drssg]

Before my dad had his heart bypass surgery, he spent an entire night buckled over in pain right next to the phone. He didn’t want to call 911 because my sister lived right next door. He was concerned that an ambulance in the middle of the night would disturb her.

People are going to live their life as they see fit. We can offer to help, but if they’re not senile, they deserve to make their own choices.

 

[jbrumberg]

My Father got his FL driver's license renewed w/o question. A month later he hit a brand new Mercedes and a supermarket in a plaza mall. Witnesses reported to the responding officer that the Mercedes operator caused the accident, but my Father lost his driver's license at the site of the accident. Luckily other than some damaged egos nobody got hurt. My Dad was lucky.

drssg- Your Dad's experience is pretty common. I agree about the right of a competent aging adult to make informed decisions regarding their own lives for better or worse. Losing one's independence is usually traumatic. In an ideal world one could age in place with necessary and agreed upon services and supports for a successful life in one's own home.

 

[bigtiller]

My widowed mom wears a flip phone in her bra. It works great as long as she remains conscious and not in the shower.

 

[k0ua]

Before my dad had his heart bypass surgery, he spent an entire night buckled over in pain right next to the phone. He didn’t want to call 911 because my sister lived right next door. He was concerned that an ambulance in the middle of the night would disturb her.

People are going to live their life as they see fit. We can offer to help, but if they’re not senile, they deserve to make their own choices.

That right there is one of the biggest problems. The not wanting to bother anyone with their problems. "oh it is just a little heart attack... Wouldn't want to upset the daughter!".

 

[jbrumberg]

That right there is one of the biggest problems. The not wanting to bother anyone with their problems. "oh it is just a little heart attack... Wouldn't want to upset the daughter!".

I agree and already see signs that I will probably act in a similar fashion despite my experiences; probably like many of the posters here.

 

[Bird]

My God, I took my Mom to get her License renewed. First, I drove six hours to get her to an appointment that we missed because she got the address wrong. She passed the test. Seems they will give it to anyone,

Less than a month ago, we went and took a former neighbor lady out to lunch for her 89th birthday. And she happened to mention that she had just renewed her drivers license with no problems.

 

[Industrial Toys]

Something about getting them to look at a clock. Looking for dimensia (sp?) . How about taking a real driving test? My Mom has rear ended several people and doesn't seem to think anything of it. Then, I get to hear about how long she has ben driving and that I have had accidents too.

I would not pass a real license test, no longer familiar with exact rules. How far behind a sidewalk crossing do you have to stop? Stop, heck, you just coast on through trying not to run over anyones feet, or slap them in the face with your mirrors!