Your Rural Local Sheriff's Report Here...

[txdon]

....as your small town newspaper reports it. Every once in a while you see a story and you say to yourself "That would never happen in the city".

Here's the first one which I would title "One Good Sprayer Deserves Another".

"July 24, 2010
A caller reported a possibly rabid skunk on his property on CR ###. Deputy York was able to pressure wash the skunk away."

 

[jinman]

Don, that reminds me of a reporter for our local paper who put a photo on their website of a dark cloud with the headline, "Squaw Line Approaches." I sent him an email saying that I looked at his picture a long time and never saw any indians, but I sure did see a "squall line." I never got a reply to my email, but they changed the headline on their website.

 

[/pine]

There was once a report in the weekly paper's "police blotter"...where someone had reported that there was a stray dog in the parking lot at the local KFC and that some woman had bought the dog a "two piece meal"...it went on to say that by the time an officer arrived the dog had finished his meal and had left the premises...

 

[Sigarms]

There was once a report of a wife in the local newspaper and they reported the womans relationship to her husband as "his babies mama".

I read that one and scratched my head.

Then again, our local newspaper is known not to finish a paragraph (and you're looking to see what page the story goes to and can't find it!)

 

[MossRoad]

Ours had a story about someone that was attacked in their house by a relative armed with a frozen chicken. "The victim had a bump on her head and refused treatment at the scene. There was no word on the condition of the chicken."

 

[Tig]

So I checked the local paper and apparently someone found an albatross. As soon as it is strong enough we hope to return it to South Africa, where it will be released back into its natural habitat.
Albatross in dire need of help - Belleville Intelligencer - Ontario, CA

 

[kyspartan]

There was once a report of a wife in the local newspaper and they reported the womans relationship to her husband as "his babies mama".

I read that one and scratched my head.

Then again, our local newspaper is known not to finish a paragraph (and you're looking to see what page the story goes to and can't find it!)

that is dimwit slang. that people are actually using. i have lost all hope for humanity