You know your old when...

[creekbend]

When after working outside all day, you're hungry, but much too tired to Eat.

 

[SPIKER]

....when you quit worrying about making money and start worrying about where to pee! Well......it's true!

That is the truth! It is also much easier to get out of the speeding tickets this way if you get a OLDER Police officer

The first thing you read in the paper are the obituaries.

and ya HOPE your name is not in there yet! hahah.


Murph: Age is just a number, (but then again so is your heart rate and blood pressure & body temp.) as long as they are still above ambient your doing pretty good!

Mark

 

[sseelhoff]

You know you're old when the time you get up in the morning is earlier than the time you used to get home.

 

[Xfaxman]

you stop to think, and forget to start again.

 

[crash325]

Your arms are too short to read the news paper.

Your get up & go - got up & went.

 

[farmgirl19]

When after working outside all day, you're hungry, but much too tired to Eat.

That's not from being old! I do this a lot!

 

[JBourquin]

when you were a kid rainbows were black and white.

"You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder
what else you could do while you're down there." George Burns.

"He is alive, but only in the sense that he can't be legally buried."
Geoffrey Madan

"A man's only as old as the woman he feels." Groucho Marx.

"People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh
birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit." George Burns.

"I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my
nap." Bob Hope

"When I was a boy, the Dead Sea was only sick." George Burns

"I don't plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my
ears meet." Rita Rudner.

"I do wish I could tell you my age but it's impossible. It keeps changing
all the time." Greer Garson.

"Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had
pimples." George Burns

"Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your
children will not have declared you legally insane in order to gain control
of your estate." Woody Allen

"I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to
be anywhere." George Burns.

"Except for an occasional heart attack I feel as young as I ever did."
Robert Benchley

"Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the National Debt." Herbert
Hoover

"I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in it's holder is a thrill."
George Burns

"The secret of longevity is to keep breathing." Sophie Tucker

"At my age I do what Mark Twain did. I get my daily paper, look at the
obituaries page and if I'm not there I carry on as usual." Patrick Moore.

"I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed,
sold me this watch." Woody Allen.

"At my age flowers scare me." George Burns.

"My grandmother was a very tough woman. She burried three husbands and two
of them were just napping." Rita Rudner

 

[CliffordK]

You think the tools in the antique store look new.

 

[MarkV]

My MIL, at 87, says she starts her day by listening to the local small town radio station and if they don't read her name in the obituary announcements she gets up.

MarkV

 

[mjarrels]

When your retired Navy and all your old duty stations and ships no longer exist!

mark

 

[Ed of all trades]

Russel Easter said "There are two signs of old age, one is having a hard time remembering things and I don't remember what the other one is.:laughing:

 

[brain55]

When you hear a favorite song from your youth, and realize your listening to the oldies station.

Or you're in an elevator, lol.

 

[MossRoad]

Here's a little something to remind you of your youth.

 

[tcartwri]

When you know where every public washroom is between home and work.

 

[sam5570]

happy belated birthday murph. i missed the post somehow, oh i remember now i was more intrested in [ is my social surcurity a entitlement or have i earned it].

 

[MikeInEburg]

To quote Little Feat:

Well you know
That you're over the hill
When your mind makes a promise
That your body can't fill.

 

[brin]

When you and your spouse get together to laminate your Medicare cards:laughing:

 

[Buppies]

When you don't know what the music is that is playing on the radio or you go outside to take care of a specific chore and by the time you get there you forgot what it was you were supposed to do or you back out of the garage and leave the back door of the truck open. Wow I am telling on myself happy belated b- day

 

[orezok]

I found the cure for "old". I started counting in dog years!

 

[chad22]

All great posts. I love this thread. I'm subscribing to this wonderful thread. Thankfully I'm not quite there at the old age yet. But it'll come soon enough.

From Brad Paisleys song Bigger Fish to Fry.

"You know you're old when your wife says 'honey let's run upstairs and make love' and your answer is 'I cannot do both.'"

Chad