Podunkadunk said:
Need tips/advice/lessons learned in preparing for a child. Also, feel free to throw in other stuff that's related.
It was fun reading all the posts, and my 2 girls are grown. The oldest (23) graduated from college (after 5 years, with a double major) in May and moved out and is 100 miles away. The youngest (20) just moved out and is 15 miles away. So, we're learning what it means to be empty nesters.
1. Take every opportunity to spend time with your daughter. There will be times when you get home from work and you're exhausted. The only thing you want to do is veg out. Just as you're about to sit down, your wife will say it's parent teachers night, or there's a play at school, etc. GO! Create a memory for your daughter and you.
2. No matter what people say, or what you read, nothing accurately describes what being a parent will be like. I swear part of the birthing process wipes out the parent's memory of what things were like before the baby.
3. Take time to just be with your baby. Sitting and rocking is a blessing. We're turning the youngest daughters room into a sewing room for my wife. As we cleared out a corner of the room I recalled that's where the rocker was. I can still remember sitting there, rocking our youngest, singing to her, watching the moonlight stream into the room at 2 or 3 in the morning, when I had to get up at 5.
4. When you make a mistake disciplining, admit it and say you're sorry.
5. Our oldest slept 8 hours a night from day 1. It was a set up. Her sister never slept more that 90 minutes at a time until she was 9 months old. Share the burden with your wife. Don't use breast feeding as an excuse.
Look at it as impromptu family time.
6. Don't use work or chores as an excuse not to spend time with your daughter. Your daughter will only be 1 month, 2 months, 2 years, 5 years old, etc. once. Work will always be there.
7. Get used to getting chores done when you can, not when you want to. Same goes for sleep.
8. Babies and children are not little adults, don't treat them like they're just smaller versions of grown ups.
9. Watch what needs done at home and do it before your wife asks you to. This will take some training, but you'll learn. Unlike in my dad's day, raising a child is the parent's responsibility, not just the mother's with an occasional assist from the father.
10. Create special family times, e.g., reading after dinner, having dinner in the kitchen or dining room, not in front of the TV.
11. Put safety locks on all the lower cabinets.
12. Crawl around on the floor to get a babies eye view and secure dangerous objects.
13. Forget about having a house that's just a clean as it was before the baby. Keep the house presentable, but don't try to keep it spotless.
14. At each stage of development, you'll miss the previous stage. It's nice when they can interact with you, but you'll miss rocking them. It's nice when they can talk to you, but handing over the car keys is tough.
15. Regardless of your income, buy clothing at second hand places. Let the grandparents buy the new stuff. Kids grow out of things too fast.
16. You're already going with disposable diapers. Good move. We tried cloth for about 3 days.
17. Store diapers and baby wipes close together. While we had a bassinet, we often changed diapers on the rug in the bathroom. Babies can't fall off the floor.
18. Lift up the butt, clean, using plenty of wipes. Fold the diaper into a ball and secure with the tape. There will be plenty of sticky left. Everything stays in the diaper. Everything. Some people tried to tell us some objects go in the toilet (you're supposed to do this with cloth diapers). Huh, not a chance. Wrap it tight and toss it in a waste basket with a lid.
19. If you have dogs, keep them out of the diaper basket.
20. If you have cats, keep the baby out of the litter box.
21. Get a thermometer you can stick in their ear. One for the mouth doesn't work with a baby and one for the other end, is, well......get one for the ear.
22. Kids bring interesting things home from school, like measles, mumps and chicken pox. You've had all these diseases, right?
23. When you discipline, tell them why. Not just that what they did was wrong, but why it was wrong. Help them understand the reasoning. Not that you'll get into a debate, you're still the parent, but if I was trying to teach them a lesson, I told the what the lesson was.
Enjoy!! It's a great time. Both you, your wife and baby will learn new things. It's a time for all of you to grow. Devoting your life and time to raise a child is the most important job you'll ever love. If it's at all possible, have one of you be a stay at home parent. I know not everyone can do this, but I've seen far too many people who could, turn the baby over to daycare. The baby loses, and so do you.
