RobS
Super Member
Funny story from a friend of mine...
Dusk found my old lawn tractor limping back to the garage. It was so slow these days, it now took me two and a half hours to mow the lawn. Barely moving, and emitting sounds like a garbage disposal trying to eat nuts and bolts, it struggled to get out of its own way. The blades were practically dragging the ground for some reason or other, but after 12 years of service I figured it was just "fair wear." Yep! About time for a new mower I said to myself. And what with the tax rebate and all.....
Later, I ran this sad tale past my wife and she said "well honey, go ahead and get a new one". Gosh! That was easy I thought. So, throwing caution to the wind, I went by the dealer and priced a new John Deere, the one that will turn on a dime and then headed home. Walking in with the brochure in my back pocket, I, as casually as I could, mentioned I had found a machine. The love of my life said "that's nice dear". On a roll, I then progressed on to the subject of the tax rebates and gave an exploratory explanation about the financing. My wife heard me out then commented..."don't you have enough in your tool money budget to cover it? "Well, dearest... since a tractor is a vehicle and not really a "tool" per say...
This did not bode well as my instincts told me that she was having a problem visualizing the distinct difference between a "tool" and a mower... something my male friends had no problem with, not that it mattered.....to her way of thinking the lawn tractor was a tool, plain and simple. In an instant my new John Deer bubble was popped as she reminded me that we were using the tax money for a down payment on a PT Cruiser... HER PT Cruiser... "I don't know what all the fuss is anyway." she went on, "I saw a nice lawn mower ad in the paper for only $200.00." "But...but" I stammered....that was a "push mower" and..... too late. I was being preempted by "Oprah" on the Television. All further entreaties were doomed so I headed out to the garage, dropping the brochure in the trash as I went. Now as my proportions are ...well "generous" (I prefer to think of them as regal, in the mold of King Henry the Eight) the thoughts of pushing a mower around an acre under the merciless Carolina sun was a vision too horrible to consider. Unfortunately it came down to either rehabilitating the old tractor or.... kiss the Jet 18" band saw I had long coveted good-bye. That massive steel cradle, rack & pinion blade guard and euro guides....
No! I couldn't thrown in the towel! I would see what I could do with that wretched mower. Towards that end, I started digging around the shop and came up with the owners manual and a maintenance log. Buried in that document, and printed in four languages, was a check list of what should be done to keep the tractor in "good repair".
Looking at the forlorn machine festooned as it was with grass matted in every orifice, I decided the first thing was to clean it up by virtue of blasting away at it with a pressure washer... Grass, grease, bugs and other "stuff" came off it in a liquid hailstorm. Gee...I didn't realize it was painted red.... After finally striking original metal I moved right along to step one..."check the tire air pressure." Should be 14 psi front/10 psi rear. I came up with about 2 pounds all the way around. A glance at the log showed that I did this last in...1995. I made a mental note to drop an E-Mail to my congressman about the poor quality of tires that were being fostered off on the American Public This might be another Firestone/Ford fiasco! I mean was I to be a slave to those tires? Constantly checking them and all? With visions of a class action law suite I moved on...
Removing the original spark plug I marveled that it didn't look like the ones I remember with a little inverted "L" on the end. This one look more like a tired "i". Must be some new design.... but as long as I have removed it, guess I will put in a new one.
Down the list I went...
"Oil change"... noted in log this was last accomplished in early 1998. Hmmmm, the oil didn't so much drain as oozed out of the crankcase....more like the consistency of partially congealed grease..... a product of inferior oil stocks no doubt.
"Belts".... "should be adjusted so as......" Ok. so they had about 2 inches of extra slack. This just shows that the machine wasn't set up correctly in 1990. Probably some teenager threw it together in a hurry so he could go on a date.. I contemplated another letter, this time to the manufactor on the poor quality of service......
"Blades"... Now I know I had purchased new blades...checking the log...yep! Here it was ..1996. I poked and prodded in the shed and there they were... still in the bag.
"Air cleaner"..... An inspection revealed that some years back the foam deteriorated leaving the housing to strain air through a impromptu grass filter..... how very ecological I thought....
"Battery"..... Oh my! This wasn't one of those "maintenance free" ones.
Lubricate axles, tie rod ends, gear linkages..... Oh! Who knew?
As you might well imagine....this process took quiet a bit longer than I had anticipated. It was dark when I finally finished and limped bone tired into the house, caked in grass, oil, grease and adorned with various other unidentified substances.... I at least garnered some sympathy points with the little woman. As I wanly smiled, trudging down towards the bathroom, tender words of "oh my poor dear, you have worked so hard" followed me down the hall.
Next morning, it was test time. I put on my favorite western hat and went out an mounted my iron steed. Turning the key, it fired right up...much to my amazement. I then pushed on the shift lever marveling at how it snicked into gear instead of the tug of war it usually took. I casually lifted off the clutch and was rewarded by a wheelie! Egads! Where did all this power come from? Not only did everything work like new, but the machine positively gleamed! I shaved an hour and a half off the mowing time!
When I wheeled the perky little beast into the garage at the end of my mission, it was to the acclaim of wife and dog. "My" she exclaimed, "you certainly worked hard". Well I allowed that it did run better. She then gave me a big hug and said " Well I think you
just did such a good job, you should go ahead and get that band saw!"
Sweet Mother Of Pearl! It's true! It's all in the timing.
Dusk found my old lawn tractor limping back to the garage. It was so slow these days, it now took me two and a half hours to mow the lawn. Barely moving, and emitting sounds like a garbage disposal trying to eat nuts and bolts, it struggled to get out of its own way. The blades were practically dragging the ground for some reason or other, but after 12 years of service I figured it was just "fair wear." Yep! About time for a new mower I said to myself. And what with the tax rebate and all.....
Later, I ran this sad tale past my wife and she said "well honey, go ahead and get a new one". Gosh! That was easy I thought. So, throwing caution to the wind, I went by the dealer and priced a new John Deere, the one that will turn on a dime and then headed home. Walking in with the brochure in my back pocket, I, as casually as I could, mentioned I had found a machine. The love of my life said "that's nice dear". On a roll, I then progressed on to the subject of the tax rebates and gave an exploratory explanation about the financing. My wife heard me out then commented..."don't you have enough in your tool money budget to cover it? "Well, dearest... since a tractor is a vehicle and not really a "tool" per say...
This did not bode well as my instincts told me that she was having a problem visualizing the distinct difference between a "tool" and a mower... something my male friends had no problem with, not that it mattered.....to her way of thinking the lawn tractor was a tool, plain and simple. In an instant my new John Deer bubble was popped as she reminded me that we were using the tax money for a down payment on a PT Cruiser... HER PT Cruiser... "I don't know what all the fuss is anyway." she went on, "I saw a nice lawn mower ad in the paper for only $200.00." "But...but" I stammered....that was a "push mower" and..... too late. I was being preempted by "Oprah" on the Television. All further entreaties were doomed so I headed out to the garage, dropping the brochure in the trash as I went. Now as my proportions are ...well "generous" (I prefer to think of them as regal, in the mold of King Henry the Eight) the thoughts of pushing a mower around an acre under the merciless Carolina sun was a vision too horrible to consider. Unfortunately it came down to either rehabilitating the old tractor or.... kiss the Jet 18" band saw I had long coveted good-bye. That massive steel cradle, rack & pinion blade guard and euro guides....
No! I couldn't thrown in the towel! I would see what I could do with that wretched mower. Towards that end, I started digging around the shop and came up with the owners manual and a maintenance log. Buried in that document, and printed in four languages, was a check list of what should be done to keep the tractor in "good repair".
Looking at the forlorn machine festooned as it was with grass matted in every orifice, I decided the first thing was to clean it up by virtue of blasting away at it with a pressure washer... Grass, grease, bugs and other "stuff" came off it in a liquid hailstorm. Gee...I didn't realize it was painted red.... After finally striking original metal I moved right along to step one..."check the tire air pressure." Should be 14 psi front/10 psi rear. I came up with about 2 pounds all the way around. A glance at the log showed that I did this last in...1995. I made a mental note to drop an E-Mail to my congressman about the poor quality of tires that were being fostered off on the American Public This might be another Firestone/Ford fiasco! I mean was I to be a slave to those tires? Constantly checking them and all? With visions of a class action law suite I moved on...
Removing the original spark plug I marveled that it didn't look like the ones I remember with a little inverted "L" on the end. This one look more like a tired "i". Must be some new design.... but as long as I have removed it, guess I will put in a new one.
Down the list I went...
"Oil change"... noted in log this was last accomplished in early 1998. Hmmmm, the oil didn't so much drain as oozed out of the crankcase....more like the consistency of partially congealed grease..... a product of inferior oil stocks no doubt.
"Belts".... "should be adjusted so as......" Ok. so they had about 2 inches of extra slack. This just shows that the machine wasn't set up correctly in 1990. Probably some teenager threw it together in a hurry so he could go on a date.. I contemplated another letter, this time to the manufactor on the poor quality of service......
"Blades"... Now I know I had purchased new blades...checking the log...yep! Here it was ..1996. I poked and prodded in the shed and there they were... still in the bag.
"Air cleaner"..... An inspection revealed that some years back the foam deteriorated leaving the housing to strain air through a impromptu grass filter..... how very ecological I thought....
"Battery"..... Oh my! This wasn't one of those "maintenance free" ones.
Lubricate axles, tie rod ends, gear linkages..... Oh! Who knew?
As you might well imagine....this process took quiet a bit longer than I had anticipated. It was dark when I finally finished and limped bone tired into the house, caked in grass, oil, grease and adorned with various other unidentified substances.... I at least garnered some sympathy points with the little woman. As I wanly smiled, trudging down towards the bathroom, tender words of "oh my poor dear, you have worked so hard" followed me down the hall.
Next morning, it was test time. I put on my favorite western hat and went out an mounted my iron steed. Turning the key, it fired right up...much to my amazement. I then pushed on the shift lever marveling at how it snicked into gear instead of the tug of war it usually took. I casually lifted off the clutch and was rewarded by a wheelie! Egads! Where did all this power come from? Not only did everything work like new, but the machine positively gleamed! I shaved an hour and a half off the mowing time!
When I wheeled the perky little beast into the garage at the end of my mission, it was to the acclaim of wife and dog. "My" she exclaimed, "you certainly worked hard". Well I allowed that it did run better. She then gave me a big hug and said " Well I think you
just did such a good job, you should go ahead and get that band saw!"
Sweet Mother Of Pearl! It's true! It's all in the timing.
