Tired

[mikehaugen]

I am in agreement with a lot of these people. I am still quite young and try to help people out, if we have a bad storm I may plow a path through the middle to beat the plow truck. I try not to get in the habit of doing things regularly. For instance, the plow truck does come and is pretty good usually, but one house near me set back behind mine the plow truck will not do (long story but they claim it is not part of their responsibility). I disagree and think that they should be doing it, so have done it on occasion but will not do it every snowfall.

The way I see it, we all live in the same place with the same needs. I spent my money on a tractor and spend time and money maintaining it because I feel that I need it around sometime. If my neighbor spends his money on a new truck every 2 years, or a side by side to get around his 4 acres, or a harley then that is their choice and it shouldn't be my responsibility to do the stuff for them that they could do if they would buy what they need instead of what they want.

There are always exceptions and I will help out when it is called for. Again these are usually isolated incidents (a bad storm, someone on vacation, or an older person) but as stated, I won't become the designated snow clearer or tree remover or brush mower just because I am the one with a tractor.

 

[mikim]

I'm 62 and currently still building my retirement home on 20 acres. My "plan" (we plan, God laughs) is to build it up -- it started out as 20 acres of woods and heavy brush -- and sell it when I'm 82 to use that money for one of those cushy retirement communities where you have your own duplex but don't have to do any maintenance. I'm enjoying working hard on this place doing just that .....for now....but I certainly see the day ahead where it won't be fun anymore due to age .....and so "the plan". My 91 yr old FIL lives with us here in our new house .....didn't plan for that ...nor did he. Near as I can see he had no plan of any kind......don't want to do that to my kids. Taking stock and looking ahead -- making changes as you see needed -- is a good thing. Life is a moving target -- you have to keep current with your situation as it evolves ....or you get stuck needing help.

 

[JD5210]

Do not move just because you have bad neighbors, because in a way you are allowing them to drag you down to their level. This is the way people are now, often instead of saying thank you it is what you done for me today.

A few of my neighbors help me and they get help back in spades. Those that do not here is a list of things I use. If they do not come out and ask, but hint around, then make out like you did not pick up on their hint. Say you might have time later in the week to do it, than never do it. Make a mistake on the job or say you do not know how to do it, after awhile they will stop calling on you. NEVER agree to do a job like cutting grass as you are now required to do it for life. There is something wrong with my tractor and I cannot use it.

Again do not let these people get the better of you and keep in mind the old saying. No good deed goes unpunished!

 

[Cat_Driver]

I hit the "helping people and not being reciprocated wall" years ago. I'm going to bore you all with how far out of my way I went for people, strangers, friends, relatives etc., and never ever was reciprocated, some barely a thank you, other not a word of appreciation.

Well one day i said THAT'S IT. Then I became an excuse expert. My back hurts, I'm busy, I sprained my anything, I'll be out of town at that time, and on and on and on.

Now I never did things to get a thank you, a pat on the back, money, a plate of cookies, BUT, it sure would have been nice.

I just figured if these people don't appreciate me going out of my way - then they certainly won't also care if I STOP going out of my way. And you know I was right, these people that I bent over backwards for could care less one way or the other.

I sure have gained a lot of free time, and I never ever feel used any more.

You need to learn to say NO, and mean it.

I haven't turned into a complete curmudgeon, but I am a lot more selective who and when I help. Old people, and kids always get my help, others I take a hard long time to decide.

 

[Locoweed]

Another way of putting it is that there is a difference between helping people in need & being used by people. Learn how to tell the difference. Start saying no. I still help folks, but I'm a lot more selective about it.

 

[SPIKER]

Boy I sure know how you feel. I've done a LOT for neighbors & family etc and rarely do I get a thanks or offer for fuel gas or $ for wear & tear... I ahve also given up over the last couple years I stopped plowing drives in winter and cutting downed trees or fixing appliances... THEN my step daughter bought a ratty trailer-home. They are 25 he is the basic idiot on steroids for dummies all his life ... SO had to evaluate trailer then checkout the furnace (needs fixed found the part and sent them a link) then they said WHY DIDN'T YOU BUY IT!?!?! Oh gee you (they) have not paid for the phones or phone bills they owe me (over a year now.) SO then the Stove wont work, (it is a old gas stove.) SO have to drive over and SHOW them how to light the pilot lights. Yep Oven wont work, told them now you know why they left this one in the shed & took one out of the house. Then the water line broke under the trailer (NO HOT WATER come help.) SO go over again the water has been running under the trailer for over a day as they heard water running but didnt go look the day prior! IDIOT told them I dont do under trailers to call his brother. The IDIOT wont crawl under there and get dirty or muddy so I told them to call a plumber I'M DONE. They still want me to get them a working washer & drier, meantime my woman is running over and picking up their dirty laundry and doing it here using our soap water & elec. nope not a word of thanks or a helping hand in $ for soap water elec... argh. soo tired of IDIOTS.

Some people really need help but expecting it even without asking (more demanding) I wont do for ANYONE anymore...

Mark